a few questions about the Kody Brown Family

[_ajax18]

Ok, I just had some time to watch it and I'm a huge fan. Not that I would ever want to try living polygamy but the character, selflessness, and amazing effort of that these women put into their marriage leaves me in awe of them. And to think they're doing it at a time in the world where the theme is, "how to get what you want out of your significant other for self fulfillment," just leaves me in awe. So many groups like communism in Russia or even the larger LDS church seemed to rely heavily on keeping people in the dark and not letting them read or know anything about the outside world that might incite them to leave.

Is Kody headed for jail? I'm sure a lot of women think he should be locked up and the keys thrown away, but why do they want that? It's certainly not for what's in the best interest of the child. I think the legal situation is a little different now than it was when polygamy was abolished. Adultery was once illegal as well. Now our own president was guilty of it and lied about it and had it not been under oath nobody would have faulted him for it. Is adultery in the best interest of children too? It sure doesn't seem to be working out very well in inner city minority culture with their fights between the new dad and baby papas and baby mommmas. How stable is that? How respectful is it of spouses, including the female spouse? Yet nobody ever penalizes them for it. It's all perfectly legal. The law actually rewards that behavior because fornicating to reproduce makes them more eligible for public welfare benefits.

Homosexuality? All I ever hear about in the modern world is the very few and sparse cases of animals practicing homosexuality. The truth is that most animals including human beings evolved under polygamy. In my view it's a lot more natural than homosexuality.

Will the government go after Kody? Only if it pads their pocket books. Kody said he wanted things to be more transparent. I can't help but think they made the move based on the money the show would make. Even so, it points out very boldly to America just how hypocritical their value system is and what is really driving the laws that are made and in whose best interest it really is.

[_greentam]

Ok, I think I will try and tackle some ideas in this. (experience being related (closely) to polygamists with a father who spent time in prison)
I have yet to watch the whole series, but started to while I had broken my ankle. There are lots of arguments for/against polygamy. Most being for it because of:
religious freedom, seeming freedom of sexual/relationship choices, etc.
those being against it for:
having a reputation that involves marrying very young teenagers/children, discrimination of sexual preference, "cheating", etc.
And of course the biggest complaint that I hear a lot is the generalization that all polygamists scam the government with social care programs. I also, personally, believe that many people have a stilted view of the relationships that are involved in polygamy.
If they do anything to the Browns (in my opinion) it is because they called attention to themselves. My father in law was often on shows and made appearances that were very public. This is one of the reasons they decided to go after him in court. Of course, there are other, very good reasons.
As for it being a negative impact on the family if he does go to prison, I completely agree. As far as I understand, he married these women after they were adults. They chose to live a polygamist lifestyle. If it's anything like I have experienced, these are not compounds of brainwashed people. These are adults living the life they chose for themselves. And their children would suffer from their father not being there.
As for women wanting to throw away the key, I think this stems from them thinking this as purely sexual. I don't know many women who want to share a husband. As for the homosexuality/polygamy argument I don't normally take it up with people. There are plenty of people who support saying that humans are naturally polygamist. This is because one male has the capability (sexually) to create more offspring/has a very high sperm count. Not that we need the whole population to be polygamist!
My personal stance on the matter is that I believe that people can live a polygamist lifestyle without taking money from the government. I also feel that people can make this lifestyle work for them and build successful families. I find the idea of regulation of marriage by the government is incorrect for both polygamists and homosexuals.

[_Joseph]

Why my marriage would be threatened if someone else marries two or more partners or even a same sex partner is a mystery to me.

I am not worried if they believe in drunk irish leprecauns who inspire 18-22 year old kids playing football, why would or should I be worried if two or more people who want to make a commitment to live together do so?

As long as these people are consenting adults, what harm is there?

[_Yoda]

I honestly don't think the Browns should be prosecuted. They are all consenting adults living an alternate lifestyle that isn't hurting anyone else.

I couldn't do it, and my disagreement with the Church regarding the issue is the whole idea of polygamy being tied to the highest possible degree of exhaltation.

But this family isn't taking government money to fund their lifestyle. As far as I am aware, they are all working.

[_harmony]

I honestly don't think the Browns should be prosecuted. They are all consenting adults living an alternate lifestyle that isn't hurting anyone else.

Is the lifestyle harmful to children? That's the biggest question. But I suppose every lifestyle has some negatives for children.

I couldn't do it,

I wouldn't do it.

...and my disagreement with the Church regarding the issue is the whole idea of polygamy being tied to the highest possible degree of exhaltation.

My disagreement with the church starts at calling adultery revelation.

But this family isn't taking government money to fund their lifestyle. As far as I am aware, they are all working.

If we're going to start regulating marriage in relation to people taking government money, we're going to need a whole bunch of new regulations.

[_truth dancer]

Not that I would ever want to try living polygamy but the character, selflessness, and amazing effort of that these women put into their marriage leaves me in awe of them.

LOL!

How much time is the guy putting into his relationships? (I've never seen the show and have no idea how many women this guys hooked up with, marrying multiple women is still illegal in this Country). Well, each woman is only getting a small fraction of his time, care, support, love, tenderness, attention, and affection.

And, how much time and energy can a woman put into a relationship if the guy is only giving her a small portion of his time and energy?

Let's be real here for a sec... polygamy is not about real marriage. It is not about deepening love and intimacy (of any kind). It is an alternative lifestyle that limits the depth of relationship posible in a monogamous relationship.

Remember, while a guy with multiple women is getting sex and attention from more partners, the women involved are getting less sex, care, affection, time, intimacy, friendship, and support.

Yes, there are women who prefer not having a close relationship with a man, so long as they are adults, freely choosing to engage in alternative relationships, and so long as children are not harmed, who cares what sort of relationships they want?


~td~

[_ajax18]

Well let me rephrase that. Polygamy for me personally feels a lot more natural than homosexuality. I'm not saying that there aren't people born with homosexual tendencies. I'm just saying that I think many men are born with polygamous tendencies and I have no shame in admitting that this was how evolution wired me. Of course self control is still important for men as well. Kody himself admitted that it wasn't at all, "Oh she's cute, I think I'll have her too." No man will ever have every woman in the world though he may want it. Entire wars were fought over stuff like this. I don't see that as being a very happy arrangment. I don't believe letting my desires go unrestrained is the way to God either, but I see the Brown's as very Godly. The balancing act and care with his words that he plays is amazing to me, part of why I would never personally be able to do it. I'm bluntly open and honest regardless of who it will hurt or what people will think about it. I'm not really smart enough to be otherwise.

I think any man would have been blessed beyond measure to have had one wife like any of Kody's four. I find the way they strive to cooperate and personally strive to be less selfish very attractive. It's something I think would be very helpful if it were taught more in mainstream monogamous relationships. But in my view, what is really being taught is how to get the power to be more selfish and get your way.

And the fact that they fired his first wife Meri just for being polygamist was in my view right up there with the unjust discrimination faced by gays. It just goes to show that the workplace doesn't always care about production but it is still full of all forms of discrimination and bigotry. It's just that some minorities have been more successful at conquering control over what is taught as right and wrong more than others.

[_ajax18]

And, how much time and energy can a woman put into a relationship if the guy is only giving her a small portion of his time and energy?

This is the same issue as a woman wanting to have more than one child. It just happens that the woman has more power than the children do to demand her portion.

I did try to imagine the opposite in a poly amorous situation. Are there very many women out there who really want that? I guess I sort of lived it at BYU where girls dated indefinitely to maintain attention from many different men. And it does seem like we have way to many boys in the nurseries not see more of that to come. Perhaps that is partly why so many people are getting the gay gene turned on.

[_Joseph]

"marrying multiple women is still illegal in this Country"

Reality is the guy is only married to one woman. The rest are shack jobs. Mistresses. Concubines. Whatever you want to call them, they are not 'legally married' to the guy.

Who really cares what these people do as long as it is consensual?

As for the great blessings of the father in the home, doesn't early Mormonism show you it is not important. Brigham and all the rest could never spend much time with either the women or the kids and per lds-inc God was just fine with it as he/she/it commanded it, right?

[_ajax18]

Reality is the guy is only married to one woman. The rest are shack jobs. Mistresses. Concubines. Whatever you want to call them, they are not 'legally married' to the guy.

The way they explained the law on the show was that if they investigated and found the sister wives to be cohabiting in the same house they could prosecute him. Now if he somehow made each house have separate addresses? I'm not sure what it would take.