Sneaking Non-Mormons into the Celestial Kingdom

[_The Mighty Builder]

The Greatest gift Horny Holy Joe has given mankind (but not the women folks since they're just going to be eternal baby making machines) is the ability to sneak Non-Mormon friends into the Mormon Celestial Kingdom.

After all under Horny Holy Joe's express lane to Mormon Heaven you just have to get by the Sentinels that Guard the way to Mormon Heaven. The great thing about this is that it's performance based and not worthy based.

"Let me give you the definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the House of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the Holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell."
- Prophet Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 2, p.31. (see also 2:315; 5:133; 6:63, 154-55; 8:339; 9:25-26, 91; 10:172; 11:27; 12:164 18:132; 19:250)

So as long as you teach your Non-Mormon friends the Signs and Tokens of the Holy Priesthood and a new name (pick a Book of Mormon, Bible or Pearl of Great Price name, any name since they are all the same for the same day), then just give a little curtsy say "hey Jesus" and walk on in (because you know every knee shall bend and tongue confess Jesus is the dude).

People in the office have been sharing this secret with their friends and family since I pointed this out.

[_The Mighty Builder]

Oh I forgot, if that doesn't work just say "hey Jesus dude, he would have believed if he was able to so were good right?" (D&C 137:5-9).