move over Joseph Smith, there's a new King in Israel

[_Sethbag]

His name is Bishop Eddie Long.

Like you, Joseph, this man also apparently believed it was his God-given right to have sex with members of his flock, in this case a bunch of young men.

And just like you, Joseph, taught us of the scroll of Judah, and the scroll of Joseph, or whatever that mumbo jumbo was, this man was wrapped in the scroll of Auschwitz, which means it's even awesomer than yours because of the sympathy we all feel to the millions of dead Jews, or, I don't know, for some odd reason. He even got a Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs self-appointed Rabbi to come preside over the coronation. How cool is that?

No word on whether his Highness Bishop Long knows any Egyptian, so Joseph you still have an edge. Not to mention you, Joseph, got all the chicks, and Bishop Long just scored a few dudes (ick!), so you're still way cooler in my book.

[_Sethbag]

In further news, I wonder if the Auschwitz torah scroll Bishop Long was wrapped in at his coronation was in fact fake. Would it still work, even if it wasn't really from Auschwitz? The bit told about that scroll by Rabbi Fruitcake Messer at the coronation did sound a little fishy to me...