What The LDS Church Tells Young Women

[_Yoda]

Dear Molly,

President Monson doesn't read any of the mail addressed to him unless he knows the person addressing him. We get 100s a letters a day, and if he read them all, he would spend 16 hours a day reading letters, and he has other duties. So, he has me and others read them and respond. You want to know why worthy LDS men are not dating you. I will tell you my own personal opinion: Men dig young women. Why is that? Probably has to do with the "instinct" to mate with young women, who can have more and healthier children. But guys don't "think" that. All they know, is that young women turn them on, and older women (usually) do not turn them on (some exceptions but not many). And Mormon men are no different from other men in this area. Your educational accomplishments are indeed impressive, but, the fact remains, men don't give a Tartar's turd about your educational accomplishments! If you are fat, then I'd forget about finding a man to take to the Temple, and if you are REALLY FAT I'd forget any man at all, unless of course he's a black felon fresh out of prison and needing a woman to take care of him because he can't find a job doing anything and he doesn't feel like going back to crime too soon. Then, you might have a chance at "love" and a child at this life. However, if you are not fat, we've found that highly accomplished Mormon women such as yourself, expect to find a Mormon male who's as accomplished as yourself, if not more so. Well, honey, its time to wake up and smell the decaffinated Postum...because....Mormon men who are wealthy or highly accomplished don't want women your age. Simple at that. They want as young as they come! They marry the fresh little nubile 18 year old honies as they bounce into the Young Adult Wards for the first time. So, unless you are willing to marry ANY worthy LDS man, even one who pumps gas but is morally worthy and active in the Church, I'm afraid you can FORGET about Temple marriage and a family in this life. Sorry if these statements sound harsh, but TRUTH is often harsh. If you are not fat, you can find a worthy active LDS male, who is probably poor or certainly not as accomplished as you. Eat some crow and you can have marriage and family in this life. If you are FAT, sign up for Weight Watchers and lose the weight, and you'll get at least some LDS men wanting to marry you. Simple as that. Up to you. Anyway, these are decisions you will have to make. Please make them prayerfully. Take care.

A. Soberman
Secretary to President Monson"

So, Darrick, would you marry a woman in her 40's, or would you personally think she was too old?

Let's say she isn't fat. She is attractive, educated, and has similar interests to your own.

[_Yoda]

Also...Darrick...as a follow-up question....What do you consider fat?

Would women these sizes be unappealing to you?

[_Quasimodo]

I often wonder if he is a sock puppet and just having fun with us.

Derrick is almost as old as you and I. He's been into his reality for a long time.


by the way, I am still on for the prediction that women will gain the LDS Priesthood on or before April 1, 2070.

Thanks Moksha! I was unaware that Derrick was that old. I was also unaware that you were as old as me, as well. You both have my sympathies.

I'm hoping to be there with you in 2070 to see your prediction come true. Only 58 years to go!

[_Daheshist]

I really am not familiar with women's sizes. Is a size 8 fit or chubby?

Anyway, like I said before, men DO NOT CARE if a woman has an excellent career or owns a home. Men care about how sexy she is, and Mormon men are no different in this area from others. Mormon men would rather have a SEXY uneducated woman who works at McDonald's, than a plain jane or a fat oen, or a chubby one, who has a Ph.D. and a good career.

I have SEEN such women many times. They want to find a man who she thinks is her "equal". Very well. She has a right to her "equal". However, men who she would consider her "equal" will much more likely marry a young sexy 18 or 19 year old than her.

Women who are "go geters" tend to be domineering. Most men don't like that. If you have ever watched "Jon and Kate Plus 8", and saw how ball-busting and de-masculating Kate used to treat Jon, you would know what I mean. Most men don't like to have their balls busted every day. They usually leave, or, in the case of Jon, they do something to FORCE there wives to throw them out.

So, what would I say to a single woman in their 30s who has a successful career, own their own home, is beautiful and in good physical condition, and wear's a size 8?

I would say: "Hello! Nice day isn't it?"

What else would I say? "IF" she said to me: "Golly, why aren't Mormon men asking me out for dates?"

I would say, "You need to ask them."

If she would say: "Well, Mormon men ask me out, but only men I don't want to go out with:

I would say: "Then I suggest you ask men you consider your equals out on dates, or slip your number in their pocket"

She would say: "OH, well, women aren't supposed to do that"

I would say: "Why? Who made that rule?"

She would say: "Well, men are supposed to be the aggressors in romance!"

I would say: "Why? Who made that rule?"

If she says: "Darrick, I'm a successful beautiful Mormon woman who has a great career and owns my own home...WHY aren't Mormon men who are my equal or better asking me on dates?"

I would reply: "Why should they? They can find 18 or 19 year olds who don't bust their balls every day like you might. Why should successful Mormon men marry YOU when they have their pick of young dumb nubile sexy and submissive 18 or 19 year old who will have their babies and clean their homes and do what they say without argument?"

And then she would say, "Oh! Your Truth is too much to bear!!! I am NOW going to cut your balls off and feed them to you, because I cannot tolerate the TRUTH you have just told me!!!!"

I've actually had such conversations with women like that before where they tell me they can't find a man their equal, and I tell them "YOU ask them out" and they say, "Oh, women aren't supposed to DO that!" And they tell me they are just weak little woman, and cannot possibly ask men for dates. So I say, "Ask them to dinner" and they say, "Oh, no, women can't do that!" Yes....they've really said that to me.

As far as women feeding me my balls. I've found that Mormon women are usually too busy draining the balls of Alpha Malls to feed me mine. Those type of Mormon women don't want to cut my balls off and feed them to me. They simply call me a "Loser" to others and then ignore me and that seems to satisfy them.

So what do you say to the single women in their 30's who have a successful career, own their own home, and are beautiful, in excellent physical condition, and wear a size 8?

'Cause I know a lot of those (some of whom would cut off your balls and feed them to you...).

[_Daheshist]

I might go for the white one if she treated me well and was a non-smoker. I would say she was "borderline".

Also...Darrick...as a follow-up question....What do you consider fat?

Would women these sizes be unappealing to you?

[_Yoda]

I might go for the white one if she treated me well and was a non-smoker. I would say she was "borderline".

Both of these women are plus-sized models, and would be considered "obese" of "fat" in today's society, so I was just trying to get an idea of what you considered fat.

So...the women who you said paid attention to you were both more overweight than these women?

Also...what if you married a skinny woman, you and she had several children together, and as a result of the pregnancies and health issues, she gained weight. Would you threaten to divorce her if she didn't lose the weight?

[_Yoda]

Darrick, I would also be interested in the questions I asked here:

So, Darrick, would you marry a woman in her 40's, or would you personally think she was too old?

Let's say she isn't fat. She is attractive, educated, and has similar interests to your own.

Thanks!

[_just me]

Also...what if you married a skinny woman, you and she had several children together, and as a result of the pregnancies and health issues, she gained weight. Would you threaten to divorce her if she didn't lose the weight?

Sexual attraction is not unconditional.

[_Yoda]

Also...what if you married a skinny woman, you and she had several children together, and as a result of the pregnancies and health issues, she gained weight. Would you threaten to divorce her if she didn't lose the weight?

Sexual attraction is not unconditional.

Yes and no.

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. Yes, I'm 47 rather than 22, and I have a few stretch marks from the pregnancies of our 3 kids, but he still thinks I'm the sexiest thing around.

And I feel the same way about him! :-)

[_Daheshist]

Again, let me reiterate....

The Brethren get 100 or more letters a DAY, every day, from LDS women with careers, who are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, who are asking "WHY AREN'T Mormon MEN DATING ME? I WANT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN!"

The Brethren have four choices:

1. Ignore the letters.

2. Tell them the TRUTH...hey, sorry, successful Mormon men don't want YOU. They marry the young nubile 18 and 19 year old. Sorry hon, too late, and too bad.

3. Tell young Mormon men: "Hey, Brethren, don't marry the young sexy nubile 18 and 19 year olds. Nay, once you get successful, marry the career women in her 30s and 40s. Yeah...that's it.

4. Try to teach young Mormon women in YM class to marry early.

You see...number "3" won't work. They KNOW that. They are guys too. They know how guys think. So, they opt for number "4".

I would tell these career women this:

"Dear Career Mormon women,

We would encourage you to be aggressive in dating if you desire marriage and a family. That means you may have to approach men you are interested in and give them your card. If they are interested, they will call you. We know this goes against traditions, but this is what you may have to do. If the men take your card, but don't call you, that means they are not interested in you romantically. Move on to others. Successful Mormon men usually marry younger and more submissive women. We could tell Mormon men not to do this, but we know that won't do any good. If you can't find a successful Mormon man to marry, then consider a worthy but not-to-successful one. If you cannot do that, then consider a successful non-mormon man who will let you raise your children in the Church. If you are overweight, please know that this is a turn-off to many men. Not all, but many. You may wish to consider Weight Watchers or some other weight-loss program, and working out. Is your dress and hair too masculine for most men? Another thing to consider. If you live in an area with few Mormon men, consider moving to Utah or Mesa Arizona, or Calgary or Lethbridge Alberta, or go online and try the LDS singles dating sites. Good luck on your quest.

The First Presidency"

That is what I would write to them.

Your comment that a "single" Mormon can be perfectly happy, is.....well....perhaps a single CELIBATE Mormon can be happy. I don't know any. I'm single and celibate, but every "single" Mormon I know was NOT happy being single, unless they were getting sex. My last roommate was happy beingi single, but he realy wasn't "single" since he had a non-practicing Catholic girlfriend he was boffing and also plenty of Mormon women who were (Moderator Note--Removed Telestial level phrase which means "giving him oral sex".) Moderation by Liz. He was very, very, VERY "happy" being "single".

If a Mormon women, or man, can be HAPPY being "single" then that's great. Can they be "happy" being single and celibate? If they can, more power to them. But I don't know of ANY single Mormon male who is HAPPY and satisfied with their life walking around with BLUE BALLS every day.

The pressure to marry and have children is immense. Certainly you see that.
The ideal that is perpetuated is to get married in the temple to a "worthy priesthood holder" asap and to not put off having children for worldly reasons.
The ideal is to be a stay-at-home mom. The ideal is for a woman's hopes and dreams to take backseat to that of her husband. He is the provider so his education and career are more important than hers. If hers are deemed important at all, that is.

Yes, there are mothers who work, but it is usually done apologetically. It is not socially acceptable to be a mother who actually ENJOYS working and WANTS to work. You may find a few women here and there who will say, I am better as a working mom and I enjoy it, but it is very rare in my experience.

It's also not socially acceptable to be completely happy and satisfied as a single. You have to want to get married, you are supposed to want to have children.