The Romneys and The Osmonds

[_moksha]

The Aggie Gazette, October 26, 2012

LOGAN, UTAH - What started in the old Main building on the campus of Utah State Agricultural College in Logan, Utah has culminated in the success of the two most prominent Mormon families in America. Within a span of less than 20 years, two of the most prominent people of the 21st Century were conceived and gestated near the home of Aggies.

In 1946, Dr. Orin L. Schlessinger, was on his way to the completion of his Ph.D in Animal Husbandry at the College, when his neighbor Joseph Von Schmidt suggested he might be interested in looking at some papers his aunt sent him after they moved to Argentina at the end of World War II. Since Dr. Schlessinger was brushing up on German as part of his Ph.D language requirement, he saw this an an excellent opportunity to try out his translation skills on technical material.

Dr. Schlessinger found to his amazement over a thousand pages of detailed instruction relating to the the cloning of reproductive cells and genetic enhancements that could be applied to these cells. Dr. Schlessinger was elated since he saw a path to the production dairy cows with two udders which would double milk production with only minimal additional feed requirements. To his dismay, the Animal Ethics Committee at the College vetoed Dr. Schlessinger's proposal to begin cloning trials. This Utah State College committee could not agree whether such procedures would leave one of the udders without a heavenly spiritual attachment and so deemed the proposed trials as being heretical in nature.

That rejection lead Schlessinger to seek out Logan physician, Dr. LaMar E. Moyle-Higbee as a collaborator. With access to the old Logan Hospital equipment and usage of available storage room area in the morgue, the two doctors began their cloning experiments on human embryos. Sticking very close to the donated German procedural manual, the doctors were able to create some of the world's first enhanced viable clones. They needed to keep their experimental results safe and yet unheralded, so they contacted two families which Dr. Moyle-Higbee knew from his own families stay in Mexico at the start of the 20th Century. These two families agreed to raise all the experimental clones as their own children, even furnishing them spots in the family's genealogical records.

Dr. Orin L. Schlessinger, will be releasing the details of their monumental cloning achievements in a news conference to be held in Salt Lake City in mid-November. Names of those cloned are being withheld due to privacy considerations.


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[_beastie]

LOL

[_moksha]

Further long term sociological study of these two families will most likely reveal that enhanced genetics is worth proceeding with in the future. Imagine children with large perfect white teeth or the ability to sun bronze their face and have it revert to delightsome again.