An Open Cassius Event: Film and Mopologetics!

[_MrStakhanovite]

As usual, Cassius University is spearheading a new public initiative of public education and the arts. As a result, the University is having an open forum, where it invites any and all to choose a film clip of their choice that they feel best represents some facet of Mopologetics.

To help get the ball rolling, I offer up my own analogical analysis with this clip from Harmony Korine’s cult classic Gummo (be warned, vulgar language in said clip):

The scene opens up with a man who represents mopologetic thug Greg Smith, demanding in his characteristic dyspeptic high toned voice, that they “put’em back up”. He is referring to the father-like son relationship of what use to exist between MD&D poster and FARMS published LoAP and anointed saint of Mopologetics DCP.

The arm wrestling match between the father and son team is a great metaphor to MsJack and Aristotle Smith’s observations that no new young generation of mopologetic scholarship is rising up to replace the sagging features of the Old Guard recently run out of the Maxwell Institute. Where once LoAP was thought to be just such a candidate for this lost generation, his recent tiffs with DCP on Facebook has convinced many of us that he no longer has any interest following down the abusing path that Mopologetic trailblazers like Woody and DCP have cleared for him.

LoAP won the match handily, with DCP trying to remain calm while internalizing this public embarrassment. As is typical of Greg Smith, he totally misses the subtext of what this defeat really means and proceeds to offer up his own brand of neurotic comedy. The rest of the mopologetic crowd laughs nervously at the awkward antics of Greg Smith, trying to quickly move on from the potential and volatile situation of DCP having his fragile ego shaken again.

You’ll notice two characters standing side by side in the background; The large one with a gut and chest hair is none other than Hambone, the aggressive and insecure yang to DCP’s relative soothing and all too arrogant yin. Next to him is a little person, with dark skin and Israeli t-shirt (it is also revealed earlier in the film this character is gay). This little man represents the cornucopia of all the unconscious baggage within Mopologetics; we see the latent racism of the priesthood ban in the little man’s race, DCP’s reliance on Anti-Semitic scholarship to further his own agendas on the T-shirt, and the unapologetic scorn Mopologetics has for the GLBT community since the Prop 8 fiasco. The stature of the little man in the film is ideal, because every aspect of him makes him a minority and almost every major social issue the LDS Church has involves some kind of minority not being treated in the kindest of fashion by the church and certainly not by Mopologists.

An uneasy silence falls over the room, before someone questions, “Who’s next?” Typical of the Mopologist condescending manner, it is suggested that the women go next. Similar to the segregated south of Americana circa 1950s, women are second class citizens who are told that they are “Separate but equal” in principle, but the practice is far from being equal. The Mopologists look on as the women have a go playing a boys game they care nothing for and even after its all over, the ladies find a way to contextualize the silly competition to affirm one another.

Not satisfied with the dignified conclusion of the last bout, it is decided that the “Big man” and “Little Man” should have at it. Hambone is all too eager to engage in the critics of the Church with his churlish swagger and remarks, “ Hellllll yeah, let’s git it boy” Naturally we see that Hambone is really no match for the “Little Man” and is quickly and decisively beaten.

Hambone quickly succumbs to his Mopologetic rage, flipping the table and angrily ripping the legs off. Just like his lame attempt to take the multi-disciplinary field of Religious Studies to task and show the impossibility of a true “Mormon Religious Studies”, Hambone seeks to dismantle any sort of semblance of academic discourse that he might be forced to compete in. Hambone wants a playing field that is more suited to how Mopologetics actually works, and he knows all to well (to his aggravation) that scholarship and Mopologetics simply cannot exist on the same playing field. Something needs to be done and it has to do with DCP’s suggestion to Hambone in the film, “Don’t let the Little Man get ya!” A comment from the peanut gallery suggests that Hambone could lose with pride, but it falls upon deaf ears.

To ease the tension created by a Hambone melt down, Greg Smith reminds DCP of a little ditty about a girl from Salt Lake City. This gives the lie to DCP’s charade of maintaining the image he is into and apart of “high brow culture” with his various mentions of his adoration of classical music and quoting Shakespeare in a predictable and trope fashion. Behind the illusion, DCP shares in the same kind of humor as those he openly disdains as is evidenced by the attempts at humor in his writings.

Immediately the scene shifts to Greg Smith being pinned on the floor by a chair. Since the Little Man cannot be beat on fair terms, a prop that cannot fight back is chosen as a worthy opponent. Greg is cheered on by the crowd as he gains the upper hand and we see Hambone smelling blood and circling the confrontation. For a proper analogy, consider the chair to be one of the smear targets of the now defunct “FARMS” and Greg Smith’s pugilism is a wordy polemical hit piece. Hambone is satisfied that the beating being administered is savage enough and intervenes, tearing the hapless prop into pieces with Greg Smith landing blows when he can.

LoAP is third in line, ceaselessly pounding away on the pile of twisted and broken junk. Then in a completely unceremonious fashion, Greg Smith places what is left of their collective wrath in the garbage and with typical MD&D charm, spits out the backwash of what is surely a warm beer.

When watching Mopologists like Pahoran at work, this clip is usually what springs to mind.

[_Doctor Scratch]

An utterly ingenious analysis, Mr. Stak. This seems to me a kind of trail-blazing examination of Mopologetic parallels in popular culture. Doubtless we could find other interesting Mopologetic analogies throughout Korine's ouevre. Good Ol' Wade "Bobby Peru" Englund wouldn't seem at all out of place in the town where Gummo takes place, for instance.