Suggestions for Facebook Missionary Moment

[_TrashcanMan79]

My little brother posted this on Facebook yesterday and tagged my other brother and me in it (apostates, both). Since he has opened the door for a discussion, and since it will be in full view of many a TBM, I want to engage as effectively as possible, as I see this as a potential exmo missionary moment. What would you say? What would you NOT say?

Thanks!

[_I have a question]

My suggestion would be...don't respond.

It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.

[_fetchface]

If it were me I would just respond to them that I simply can't believe in a God that sends angels with swords to command people to marry dozens of women but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends and agree to disagree.

If they pushed back on that I'd send them links to the new seminary and institute manuals that tell the story of the angel with the sword threatening Joseph into practicing polygamy.

[_cognitiveharmony]

I didn't have much luck in these types of conversations with my siblings when I first left. We eventually agreed to disagree. The interesting part however is that one of my sisters that I had these conversations with eventually left and I can tell that the others are changed. So if there's any way that you can expose him to the truth without driving a wedge between you, that would be good, but it's not worth it otherwise. Joseph Smith isn't worth damaging familial relationships over. The longer you're out, the clearer this becomes.

[_Blixa]

My suggestion would be...don't respond.

It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.

I agree with this advice.

[_Fence Sitter]

I tend to agree that when it comes to family, the best response is no response. That said I would have a hard time not responding to this part.

"When adversity comes, don't let something you don't fully understand unravel everything you know"

The condescension and condemnation in that one sentence would be hard to just let pass.

To that I might gently reply that I did not unravel because of adversity or something I did not fully understand, quite the opposite. As a result of conscientious effort and study I felt I better understood the truth to be found in my life.

[_palerobber]

My suggestion would be...don't respond.

It's a road to nowhere but sibling angst. You won't feel better, he won't feel better, nothing will be resolved, no increased understanding will be gained. Just acrimony.

I agree with this advice.

this was my first reaction too. but if you do reply, i strongly advise staying away from history and doctrine.

focus instead on the Pearson quote. i think one could at least explain to a well meaning relative, as your brother seems to be, that if they can't, first of all, understand the multiple problems with Pearson's statement (its ignorance, circular logic, and casual insinuations), then they can't possibly understand where you're coming from and there's no point talking about it.

[_cwald]

I don't generally respond to stuff like this unless I'm specifically asked and invited to do so.

You've been invited and solicited for your opinion. Go for it. Let him have it.

That is my opinion.

[Guest]

My suggestion would be...don't respond.

I wouldn't respond at all. The whole post is tactless and self-serving and I wouldn't validate that behavior in any way.


ETA: If he wanted to have a sincere discussion with his brothers, this content belonged in a PM. Publicly tagging his brothers like this sounds like it's more about appearing a certain way to his Facebook friends, rather than having any kind of substantive discussion about faith with his 'wayward' siblings. That he felt like this was something he needed to do in the first place suggests a lack of maturity. And whatever needs to be said to him about it doesn't need to be said in public.

I have a brother who is 19, who pulled a similar stunt a few months ago. I took him to task for it privately, as did our other apostate sister. If he wants to use an interpretation of me and my choices for his own religious agenda, he'll do it without the benefit of my participation, trust, or friendship. He took the offending post down, apologized profusely for overstepping, and we haven't had a repeat incident.

[Guest]

I almost never say anything, but sometimes I feel like I am enabling them with my silence. I know it could potentially wreck relationships, but at the same time I feel guility. After all, if all doubters stayed quiet, where would we be? It's the people who were "rude" who got me to doubt. I am as they say an "anonymous coward."
They have created an absolutely destructive, toxic, and manipulative narrative. It's a lose-lose for doubters.