Saoirse Kennedy-Hill addresses mental illness

[_Jersey Girl]

I am sure you all read or heard that Saoirse Kennedy-Hill, 22 year old granddaughter of RFK, died of an apparent overdose this week. You may have heard her relatives speak to her passing and how she wanted to shine a light on mental illness.

Here is mental illness. In her own words.

Opinion

Mental Illness at Deerfield

By Saoirse Kennedy-Hill '16 Contributing Writer Feb 03, 2016


When you were little, did you ever have friends your mom made you hang out with, even though you didn’t want to? Then those friends kept showing up, and you were confused and sick of them. Soon enough, those friends were around so much that you got used to them. Finally, those friends were always with you and never left, and you almost began to enjoy having them around.

Until last year, this was my relationship with my mental illness.

My depression took root in the beginning of my middle school years and will be with me for the rest of my life. Although I was mostly a happy child, I suffered bouts of deep sadness that felt like a heavy boulder on my chest. These bouts would come and go, but they did not outwardly affect me until I was a new sophomore at Deerfield.

We all know that some people find winter at Deerfield lonely, dark, and long. I began isolating myself in my room, pulling away from my relationships, and giving up on schoolwork. During the last few weeks of spring term, my sadness surrounded me constantly. But that summer after my sophomore year, my friend depression rarely came around anymore, and I was thankful for her absence.

Two weeks before my junior year began, however, my friend came back and planned to stay. My sense of well-being was already compromised, and I totally lost it after someone I knew and loved broke serious sexual boundaries with me. I did the worst thing a victim can do, and I pretended it hadn’t happened. This all became too much, and I attempted to take my own life.

I returned to school for the fall of my junior year, but I realized that I could not handle the stresses Deerfield presented. I went to treatment for my depression and returned to the valley for my senior year.

Coming back from medical leave was definitely not what I expected. I saw a stark contrast between my treatment facility—a place full of aware and accepting people—and my experience at Deerfield. Although my friends were extremely supportive, they seemed to be the only ones who knew what had been going on in my life for the past year.

Dr. Josh Relin, Director of Counseling at Deerfield, has explained to me that federal laws designed to protect patient privacy constrain what information can be shared in workplaces and schools. “There is a strong firewall between what happens in the Health Center and the other adults in the community due to HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act),” he said. “This law determines how health information can and cannot be shared.”

HIPAA was designed to protect patient privacy, yet in my experience, it left me feeling very much alone.

I didn’t care that students thought that I had left because of an eating disorder, or that I had been bullied, but it concerned me that my teachers and advisors didn’t know what I had been going through. Even though it was helpful for me to discuss my struggles with all of those important people in my life, it was still uncomfortable, and it was hard for me to take the initiative. In the future, I hope that the Health Center reaches out to students before they return from medical leave in order to discuss how the school can make their adjustment back to Deerfield less difficult. If they had reached out to me, I would have let them know that I wanted my circumstances shared with my teachers and advisors before I returned to campus; this would have made my transition back a lot easier.

Deerfield is one of the top educational institutions in the country, yet no one seems to know how to talk about mental illness. People talk about cancer freely; why is it so difficult to discuss the effects of depression, bi-polar, anxiety, or schizophrenic disorders? Just because the illness may not be outwardly visible doesn’t mean the person suffering from it isn’t struggling. I have experienced a lot of stigma surrounding mental health on Deerfield’s campus. As students, we have the power to end that immediately. Stigma places blame on the person suffering from the illness and makes them ashamed to talk openly about what they’re going through.

Teachers and students on our campus can do their best to be more aware when discussing mental health issues. If someone says they’re feeling depressed, a good way to respond would be, “What are some other things you’re feeling? What do you think has brought this on?” If you don’t feel comfortable saying either of those, say, “I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I am here for support.” Too often, people speak before they think, and that can damage the trust in a relationship. If someone confides in you, try not to say, “It’s all in your mind,” or “lighten up,” or, my personal favorite, “Happiness is a choice.” No, it’s really not. When I’m in a really bad place, I do my best to surround myself with positive people and upbeat music, but too often it feels as if I’m drowning in my own thoughts, while everyone else seems to be breathing comfortably.

Many people are suffering, but because many people feel uncomfortable talking about it, no one is aware of the sufferers. This leaves people feeling even more alone. Since I spoke about this issue at school meeting, I have had countless people approach me, telling me that they, too, are struggling and would love to be more open about it. I am calling all members of the Deerfield community to come forward and talk freely about mental health issues. We are all either struggling or know someone who is battling an illness; let’s come together to make our community more inclusive and comfortable.

http://deerfieldscroll.com/2016/02/ment ... deerfield/

[_Jersey Girl]

"We are all either struggling or know someone who is battling an illness; let’s come together to make our community more inclusive and comfortable." ~ Saoirse Kennedy-Hill

Isn't it time that we make our country more inclusive and comfortable in speaking about mental illness? Isn't it damn time?

I'm not raising the issue (again) because there has been another tragedy in the Kennedy family. I've been talking about this and trying my best to address mental health for decades. In the community, in the work place, with friends and family, and even online.

One need only to read the daily headlines to know that we need change and better access to mental health care. We need people to feel they can speak openly about their mental health and not worry about losing their jobs, their educational opportunities, their friends, or having their family run scared of them.

This society can talk about how Kim Kardashian broke the internet with her nude photos. We can talk about Harvey Weinstein and his pattern of sexual predation. We can talk about freaking racism. Talk about nuclear war and ultimate destruction.

When it comes to mental health, many of us clam up. We hide it. We stuff it down. We ignore it. We're too scared to ask our loved ones the questions they need us to ask them because we're scared shitless of the answers. So we don't ask.

We are incensed about the adults and children, locked up at the border. Why aren't we incensed about our residents who are locked up in their own minds?

We tell people to go get meds when meds are only part of the remedy. Meds don't resolve mental illness. A combination of easily accessible and affordable therapies and support is what helps and even so, you have no guarantee. But, aren't our people worth the effort?

Support. Not only from doctors, therapists, etc. Family members have got to be part of the support team. They have to be brave. They have to be there. They have got to educate themselves if they are trying to help their loved one. You cannot assume that because a friend or family member is under care and treatment, that you have no role in recovery. You are the other arm of their treatment.

There is not one person in our immediate family who has not been treated for depression at one time or another in our lives. All of us have. Some of us still are. I had depression for about a year and half decades ago.

We lost a 22 year old family member to untreated mental illness 8 years ago. Why? He was afraid he would put his hard earned career in jeopardy. He has no career now. There IS no career because there is no "him". He's got a casket 12 feet underground and a rock with his name on it.

And we live with the memory of him and how it devastated every single one of us. Our family, his family, all of his friends and colleagues. Completely devastated. He lost his life and we lost years of ours as well.

But we are relatively well. We managed. We made it. Most of us speak openly about mental illness. In my case, I believe that speaking openly about it helps others to come forward with their story and seek treatment. I just hope to God that it helps.

I was waiting for an appointment this past year with my primary. A nurse came in to do the intake business. The primary was running behind so a nurse waited with me. We started talking about white coat syndrome and then how I developed it, and before you know it she started talking about her own journey with mental health and also how one of the staff completed suicide the week before. We both agreed how important it is to talk openly and how when we do that, we open the door for others to do the same, sort of give them permission to do it, and how when we share our journey's we are offering insight and education to others and how we often receive it in return. We blessed each other that day.

I've mentioned how I sometimes have to get my heart shocked to put it back in NSR. That's happened 4 times in 2 years. After that, I have panic attacks for about a week. I think it's my body's reaction to the trauma of the shock. I'm not afraid of the shock. I'm not fully conscious when they do it. Somehow my body remembers it and then I get panic attacks. That happened to me this week after last week's ER visit.

There's a poster here who knows that happens to me. I wasn't sure at the time if it was the shock or the meds I was on. I contacted them in the middle of real time exchanges once because I started a panic attack and I didn't want to leave them hanging, so I shared and signed out. He was very understanding and encouraging. If you're reading here and have a reason to identify yourself, feel free.

When I went to the hospital to visit a family member (rains/pours week trust me) I had just had a panic attack in the middle of freaking Walmart picking up toys, but I got out of there with my stuff and Macgyvered my way through it in the car. I walked up to reception still kind of breathless and when the woman asked me how my day was going, I told her straight up that I had just come out of a panic attack. In return, she shared that she has them too and acknowledged how difficult it is.

That it helped me to hear that is exactly my point.

We are surrounded every day by people who have difficulties with mental health. People who are struggling, who need help and are afraid to get it, don't know HOW to get it, and fear what that kind of help will be like or that it will cost them in other ways to pursue it. They're the lady at reception in the hospital, the cashier at Walmart, the person who teaches your kids, the nurse who treats your animals, the stay-at-home mom, the disabled veteran.

They are us. They are me. They are JB and our kids. They are our friends, our family, and they are strangers. They are you and yours.

We need to be bold enough to tell our stories and share with others. Tell folks what you, your friend or family member has been through. If they look at you like they're uncomfortable, “F” it and keep talking.

But, it cannot just be us. There needs to be a national dialogue. Not the kind that bubbles to the surface after a mass shooting and dissipates with the turn of the news cycle. It's El Paso's turn as I write this.

There needs to be a two-part reciprocal dialogue that meets in the middle. From us to our national leadership and back to us again. Where is this topic in the current presidential debates? Have you heard the issue raised and if so, by whom?

And if not, why aren't we demanding it?