I’m glad DCP understands how ridiculous this story is. But I have another ridiculous story for him, courtesy of the great John Larsen:”DCP” wrote: Exactly a year ago today, a group of patriotic tourists who hoped only to make America great again decided to visit the seat of our federal government, the Capitol of the United States, in order to look around and, in some cases, to express their concern about the massive election fraud that was about to hand the White House over to one Joseph R. Biden, a Communist who had actually lost by a landslide to the incumbent president. Unfortunately, a handful of Black Lives Matter radicals were interspersed among the patriots, as well as (it seems) a number of agents provocateurs who had been sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) on behalf of the Deep State, or the Illuminati, or the Bilderbergers, or the Rothschilds, or some sort of pedophile ring. Upon their arrival at the Capitol, those interspersed troublemakers began to misbehave in order to draw the wrath of the Capitol Police down upon the patriots among whom they were scattered. Unfortunately, the plot worked. True American patriots were barred from the People’ House and, as a result, Vice President Mike Pence, feeling no obligation or pressure now to reflect the views of actual legitimate voters, declined to save our republic.
John: "We came into the land, which we call Bountiful," in verse five. "There was much fruit and wild honey, and all these things were prepared of the Lord that we might not perish. And we beheld the sea, which we called, uh, ifrghjfmu[mumble]" [Laughter] And we pitched our tents. Okay. And verse eight: "And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters. And I said: Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which thou hast shown unto me?"
John: Not a bad start, not exactly the right starting point, but it's not a bad start. "And it came to pass that the Lord told me whither I should go to find ore, that I might make tools." Okay.
John: And then verse 11, "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make a bellows." [Long pause]
John: ...Good... good. [Chuckles all around] You do need bellows, in fact, to make tools. Good on ya, Nephi.
John: Um, "to blow the fire, of the skins of beasts; and after I had made a bellows, that I might have wherewith to blow the fire, I did smite two stones together!"
John: Also very important in blacksmithing, to start the damned fire! [Laughter] A very important first step... to start the fire. Very important.
Randy: It's interesting, the focus on details here, but the complete lack later on.
John: Yeah, because we know that they had bellows!
John: "And it came to pass that I did make tools of the ore which I did molten out of the rock." Verse 16. And then his brothers see that he's about to make a ship and they start to make fun of him.
John: Okay, so we'll get back into it, but I have narrowed down the steps, and I'm going to simplify it—the steps to actually build a transoceanic vessel. Let's talk about tools first.
John: Nephi actually has a bigger problem. The Lord shows him where there is iron ore because, let's be clear, we have to make a boat that is going to survive in a saltwater environment for quite some time. Gold, silver and copper will not do. They will not hold the boat together. He's got to be talking about iron. Right? Anybody disagree? We have any apologists with us tonight to disagree?
Megan: Actually, I'm going to disagree a little bit. Sorry, I'm an archaeologist so I do this pedantic thing. Iron's not the best... but it was the best he could have come up with.
John: Okay. Yeah.
Megan: Because he's not doing alloy, not doing titanium alloy—bronze or something like that. That might be a slightly better solution.
John: Okay. So he's got to get this iron out of the mountains. And these aren't like the pit miners up in Michigan where there are Indians who are digging iron out of the ground. That's not the way iron would be found in the Sinai peninsula. So he's got a bigger problem, which is, okay, he walks up this hill—remember he's been out of Jerusalem for eight years—and he identifies the fact that he needs tools. He doesn't say, "dear Lord, you had us take this big damned load of tools around with us in the desert for eight years. What am I supposed to do with them?" It was, "No, I need tools."
John: So he climbs up this mountain, and he finds an iron seam... now what does he do?
Randy: That though is our middle level miracle, right? It's improbable, but still possible. So I can accept that one and move on with the story.
Terrell: The fact that he climbed the mountain? [Laughter]
Randy: Just, that he happened to find an exposed seam of ore.
Terrell: All right.
John: So what's he going to do to get the seam of iron out of the mountain!? Because we already know that he doesn't have any tools! Because he needs tools in order to build the boat! So he goes to find the iron in order to build the tools, which he clearly does not have, but without tools you can't mine the damned iron out of the mountain!
What is more likely, that powerful deep state forces started a riot at the capitol, or that a couple Bronze Age Jews single-handedly built a transoceanic vessel on a beach?
I can get behind the ship, but the deep state? That’s way too far out for me man!