honorentheos wrote: ↑Sun Mar 10, 2024 1:06 amTo expand: suppose a child is born with genetic disposition to having ADHD. Their environmental conditions both in vitro and in their childhood home are such that the genetic potential manifests and they exhibit behaviors such as inattention, difficulty in controlling their emotions, and having a hard time completing tasks. Some folks may write that off as the kid is just lazy and they should learn to focus. That's wrong and also cruel. The kid didn't choose their genes or their environment. And their life will be affected by those factors. That said, a diagnosis and treatment will be life impacting for that kid through both changing the effects of their genes through medication and/or behavior therapies. And they can thrive. Or there may be reasons they don't react well to treatment. Life experiences could send someone into the arc of their lives who lifts them up, or who brings out the worst in them. They can feel the nudge to leave or embrace those influences but how do we differentiate what is their will or self-originating choice? And what came from the accumulated factors before the supposed decision points?
If you're the parent of that child you do everything you can to nudge in positive directions. And also, as a human we are all doing that nudging out of the conditions that influenced whom we are and are becoming.
Freewill or not you do the best you can full of hope for the future and appreciating what is good, beautiful and true in the moment.
So, school think my kids are on the spectrum/possible ADHD. And actually now that I know more, I think I probably am too. And I totally see your point.
My kids certainly make good and not so good choices every day and yes, there are some choices they make that appear to be out of their control. And if I became more authoritative in my parenting I believe they would be able to avoid those not so fun to deal with choices but at what cost? They'd be scared to be themselves and I'd be living with horrendous guilt for repeating an element of my childhood. So right now I'm struggling to work out the balance and am trying to teach my kids kindness and respect in the hopes that they would want to make good choices. Strangely though, my kids were far kinder and more respectful when they were younger. One is starting to answer back and be cheeky and in some ways that's good because he isn't scared to but at the same time it kind of stings to see my baby growing up and being cheeky to me
They are beautiful kids but one has sensory issues and licks everything, growls at people who try to talk to her. The other makes noises in class but has started taking himself out of class to get some space. But at their core, they are kind hearted, caring people. So I can understand your perspective. But I greatly doubt they will grow up and torture and kill people without realising that somewhere in that they made a choice to go down that road.
If a killer felt no guilt or remorse, well then, would they be human?