Jhall118 wrote:As for "duty sex". I think it's a little sad that I am the first male that kind of "gets it" here and I am a mere 24 years old. Listen up cry me and douchebag
Wow dude, did I piss in your wheaties and not notice? WTF?
Or you could figure out why your wife isn't having sex with you and fix it. This magical door number three.
Since you've already admitted you're only 24, let me suggest that the year or two of newlywed sex you've been having hasn't really taught you as much as you think it has about the evolution of sexual relationships in a longterm marriage, ie: over many decades. Come back and talk to us again in 20-30 years and let us all know how it really is again.
In case you are unconvinced (I am betting you are), let me attack option number one a little bit. You don't know what it's like to have sex when you don't want it. If you want to know, then spend time in jail, or allow your wife to do you know what with something long and hard that isn't lubricated. It's kind of like that. Kind of just how it works. If a man is having sex with a woman, he wants to be having it. Nobody is surprised that you think it's no big deal.
Not only is "duty sex" uncomfortable for a female (literally, physiologically uncomfortable and not pleasurable), but its also not good emotionally/psychologically and it's not good for your marriage. It's also not good for YOU. There is a difference between sex that only one person wants and sex that both people want.
Jesus H. Christ, dude. Do you really imagine that anyone here is advocating that a woman just spread her legs and let her man inside, just like that, totally unprepared? Or do you think I don't understand the physiology of sex in women?
Finally, if you think that somehow having "duty sex" is going to prevent your husband from wanting to sleep around you are a moron, or you were told that from a male who wants to have sex with you. Putting up with sex isn't going to fix your marriage if you are having problems. Far better advice is to find out what the problem is and fix it, because sex should be a part of any healthy relationship.
First off, I agree that underlying problems in a marriage won't be fixed just by sex, and need to be addressed separately.
Secondly, "duty sex" is not a term I love, and I did not invent it or introduce it into this conversation. I don't know if you were still addressing comments at me by this point in your post, but if so, I am not, and never have advocated that a woman simply lie there and take it while thinking of England.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen