Least favorite LDS songs

[drumdude]

There are too many for me to count. Some of the worst offenders, in my opinion:

"I know a Mormon boy He is my pride and joy He knows most everything from Alma on down Someday I'll be his wife We'll have eternal life Oh, how I love that Mormon boy

I am a Mormon girl I wear my hair in curls I wear my skirts way down to my knees I wear my daddy's shirts I am the biggest flirt Oh, how I love that Mormon boy

M-O-R-E-M-E-N More men, more men, sing it again!"

Another vomit inducing song young girls were forced to sing:

When I grow up I want to be a mother
And have a family
One little, two little, three little babies of my own
Of all the jobs, for me I'll choose no other
We'll have a family
Four little, five little, six little babies in my home
And I will love them all day long
And give them cookies and milk and yellow balloons
And cuddle them when things go wrong
And read them stories and sing them pretty tunes
When I grow up if I can be a mother
How happy I will be
One little, two little, three little babies I can love
And you will see each sister and each brother
Who look a lot like me
Four little, five little, six little blessings from above."

The brainwashing continues:

1. I hope they call me on a mission
When I have grown a foot or two.
I hope by then I will be ready
To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.
2. I hope that I can share the gospel
With those who want to know the truth.
I want to be a missionary
And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth.

Not to be outdone by teaching 8 year olds to memorize the polygamist prophets:

Latter-day prophets are: number one,
Joseph Smith; then Brigham Young;
John Taylor came third, we know;
Then Wilford Woodruff; Lorenzo Snow;
Joseph F. Smith (remember the F);
Heber J. Grant; and George Albert Smith;
David O. McKay was followed by Joseph Fielding Smith,
Then Harold B. Lee, Spencer W. Kimball,
Ezra Taft Benson, Howard W. Hunter.
*Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson.
Now we have Russell M. Nelson.

Then we’ve got the fake history brainwashing lesson with a side of racist Native American musical accompaniment:

Book of Mormon stories that my teacher tells to me
Are about the Lamanites in ancient history.
Long ago their fathers came from far across the sea,
Giv’n the land if they lived righteously.
2.
Lamanites met others who were seeking liberty,
And the land soon welcomed all who wanted to be free.
Book of Mormon stories say that we must brothers be,
Giv’n the land if we live righteously.

Make sure to have the children imitate the Native American feather on their head for full effect.

Any other gems anyone can think of?

[Fence Sitter]

My least favorite LDS song was the opening sacrament hymn. It meant an hour-and-a-half of boredom ahead. Of course, on the other hand, I loved the closing sacrament hymn.

[Dr. Shades]

When I grow up I want to be a mother
And have a family
One little, two little, three little babies of my own
Of all the jobs, for me I'll choose no other
We'll have a family
Four little, five little, six little babies in my home

My own mother, who for a time had a business selling albums of those songs, told me that in the original version the number of babies went up to 12.

[Kishkumen]

“Follow the Prophet” is hands down my least favorite Mormon song. It sounds like an old Soviet hymn mixed with a dirge of some kind.