In Which Res Ipsa Abandons the Illusion of Control Over What People Post In a Thread f/k/a Thinking About ...

[honorentheos]

I'm saying you respond to people like an asshole. Dudes have their different ways of excusing being assholes and pricks, too.

The right thing to do is treat the individuals in front of you as human beings and not be an asshole. Full stop. I'm sorry that Mormonism and male culture hurt you. I get it. But using it as an excuse to behave like an asshole is your own personal problem. Sexism aside, multiple people have shown some growth in these threads. You're not one of them. So far, anyway.

I'm not interested in pandering. I think there's been plenty of good things that have arose out of the conversations. But seriously. You treat people poorly and use this as cover for individual bad behavior. It's unfortunate.

You've read this entire thread and you think I treat people poorly, and I haven't shown any growth while others have?

Really.

Yep. And the other thread, too. Just calling it how it reads on the monitor after multiple replays and slow motion viewings. Sorry, that's the call on the field after review. You're responding to everyone like an asshole. If you were a dude, there'd be an alternate dimension Lem in here calling them out for being an asshole, too. Possibly saying they are a bigger asshole than most for trying to tell a woman why they are wrong to not excuse a man from being a man because men are manly and say asshole things to show how manly manly they are. Man.

Stop responding like asshole, don't get called out for responding like an asshole.

[honorentheos]

ETA: Also, yes, I'm being a bit of an asshole bringing this up but it's not showing any signs of improving. Asshole to asshole, you're being an asshole.

Locked in.

[honorentheos]

To be clear, Cam's been an asshole, too. His response towards Moksha was asshole behavior. I think Moksha probably didn't learn what he could have there, but those were bad learning conditions y'all gave him. He clearly didn't mean to offend, and suffered a foot-in-mouth foul. But hey, two dudes jumped on him and kicked him senseless so “F” them. Oh wait, one of them wasn't a dude and the other one was defending non-dudes? Hmmmm. Man, that really clouds the ethics of this issue don't it?

Nah. Assholes.

[Lem]

You've read this entire thread and you think I treat people poorly, and I haven't shown any growth while others have?

Really.

Yep. And the other thread, too. Just calling it how it reads on the monitor after multiple replays and slow motion viewings. Sorry, that's the call on the field after review. You're responding to everyone like an asshole. If you were a dude, there'd be an alternate dimension Lem in here calling them out for being an asshole, too. Possibly saying they are a bigger asshole than most for trying to tell a woman why they are wrong to not excuse a man from being a man because men are manly and say asshole things to show how manly manly they are. Man.

Stop responding like asshole, don't get called out for responding like an asshole.

I am responding to everyone like an asshole. Your entire take on these two threads is that the woman objecting to the crude sexist slur she received is the asshole on the thread. Any opinions about the others posting on the thread?

Thank you for your contributions. Maybe we need another lesson about how men need to be treated with kindness and compassion when they make sexist comments.

[Lem]

To be clear, Cam's been an asshole, too. His response towards Moksha was asshole behavior. I think Moksha probably didn't learn what he could have there, but those were bad learning conditions y'all gave him. He clearly didn't mean to offend, and suffered a foot-in-mouth foul. But hey, two dudes jumped on him and kicked him senseless so “F” them. Oh wait, one of them wasn't a dude and the other one was defending non-dudes? Hmmmm. Man, that really clouds the ethics of this issue don't it?

Nah. Assholes.

So you have great empathy for the person making the inappropriate sexist remarks, and you can certainly imagine a situation where his offense was unacceptable but understandable, but those receiving and or objecting to said sexist remarks get no such understanding, and are simply assholes without any consideration of or specifics about the situation. Got it.

Your anger at those who point out sexist comments seems pretty extreme. But I'm sure it comes from a difficult place, and you don't intend to offend, but are just expressing yourself. You deserve to be listened to!

[honorentheos]

Your entire take on these two threads is that the woman objecting to the crude sexist slurs is the asshole on the thread.

No. This is about you, Lem. The individual, responding to other individuals. And you are doing in a very asshole way. You use the woman thing to excuse being an asshole. And yeah, dudes use being men to excuse being assholes all the time. And people should call them out on their BS when they do it. Hell, I do it, and did it in this thread.

Sorry, but you treat people poorly when certain subjects come up. It seems there are wounds and these topics dig into them. That's a thing. But honestly, I don't see that as an excuse. Free will is an illusion, but we can change the program with reflection and work. That's what the whole issue around the topic is supposedly about, too.

Just like others had to step back from the emotion and look in the mirror, you're damned throwing down on everyone about everything over anything. That's just you, Lem, and how you respond to certain stimuli in the environment. What's that about? Probably some deeper crap beyond the purview of the board. I'm sure there's sympathetic ears around, and probably plenty of justification for it.

Own your crap.

[honorentheos]

To be clear, Cam's been an asshole, too. His response towards Moksha was asshole behavior. I think Moksha probably didn't learn what he could have there, but those were bad learning conditions y'all gave him. He clearly didn't mean to offend, and suffered a foot-in-mouth foul. But hey, two dudes jumped on him and kicked him senseless so “F” them. Oh wait, one of them wasn't a dude and the other one was defending non-dudes? Hmmmm. Man, that really clouds the ethics of this issue don't it?

Nah. Assholes.

So you have great empathy for the person making the inappropriate sexist remarks, and you can certainly imagine a situation where his offense was unacceptable but understandable, but those receiving and or objecting to said sexist remarks get no such understanding, and are simply assholes without any consideration of or specifics about the situation. Got it.

Your anger at those who point out sexist comments seems pretty extreme. But I'm sure it comes from a difficult place, and you don't intend to offend, but are just expressing yourself. You deserve to be listened to!

I can definitely say I'm not angry.

Lem, it's not this big global cultural thing when a person acts like an asshole. Men use historic tolerance to try and excuse bad behaviors, and you are in a class using sexism as an excuse for really treating people poorly. It is what it is. You can't repaint it with sexism and claim it's ok to treat people badly because you've been hurt by society and Mormonism. It can go a long way in fostering understanding but that only carries things so far when you wind back up at the drop of a hat like you're fighting the world or dying. Cool down, champ. There's no one here fighting but you now.

[Lem]

Your entire take on these two threads is that the woman objecting to the crude sexist slurs is the asshole on the thread.

No. This is about you, Lem. The individual, responding to other individuals. And you are doing in a very asshole way. You use the woman thing to excuse being an asshole. And yeah, dudes use being men to excuse being assholes all the time. And people should call them out on their BS when they do it. Hell, I do it, and did it in this thread.

Sorry, but you treat people poorly when certain subjects come up. It seems there are wounds and these topics dig into them. That's a thing. But honestly, I don't see that as an excuse. Free will is an illusion, but we can change the program with reflection and work. That's what the whole issue around the topic is supposedly about, too.

Just like others had to step back from the emotion and look in the mirror, you're damned throwing down on everyone about everything over anything. That's just you, Lem, and how you respond to certain stimuli in the environment. What's that about? Probably some deeper crap beyond the purview of the board. I'm sure there's sympathetic ears around, and probably plenty of justification for it.

Own your crap.

This thread is about carving out space for men to work together on how they treat others. There is an incredible amount of projection in your comment, and it is important to give you the kindness and compassion so you can work on that.

As for "using the woman thing to excuse being an asshole," I will remember that the next time someone asks me "are you on your period or something?" I will certainly make sure I respond kindly and nicely to the asshole who says that to me, just so that you aren't upset by seeing a woman make a good point.

Seriously, though, honor, this seems like you describing your own issues. You know virtually nothing about my life, and yet you have described with great detail a disturbingly specific picture of the internal life of someone. Best guess is you are describing yourself, and since you really don't like what you see you need to project it on someone else. But that's just a guess, because I don't know you. Just like you don't know me. Own your own crap as you have described it, since by the details you seem to know (and feel agonized by) your issues pretty well.

Your belligerent responses are adding quite a bit to the background of this thread however, regarding the toxic manner in which some men respond to women. Especially since, just after the OP has made a passionate plea for kindness and compassion, you decide to take on the mantle of repeatedly attacking just the women who dared bring up the sexism. Plenty of people have responded as assholes on this thread, your singling out of just the woman says quite a bit about your own problematic sexism.

[honorentheos]

No. This is about you, Lem. The individual, responding to other individuals. And you are doing in a very asshole way. You use the woman thing to excuse being an asshole. And yeah, dudes use being men to excuse being assholes all the time. And people should call them out on their BS when they do it. Hell, I do it, and did it in this thread.

Sorry, but you treat people poorly when certain subjects come up. It seems there are wounds and these topics dig into them. That's a thing. But honestly, I don't see that as an excuse. Free will is an illusion, but we can change the program with reflection and work. That's what the whole issue around the topic is supposedly about, too.

Just like others had to step back from the emotion and look in the mirror, you're damned throwing down on everyone about everything over anything. That's just you, Lem, and how you respond to certain stimuli in the environment. What's that about? Probably some deeper crap beyond the purview of the board. I'm sure there's sympathetic ears around, and probably plenty of justification for it.

Own your crap.

This thread is about carving out space for men to work together on how they treat others. There is an incredible amount of projection in your comment, and it is important to give you the kindness and compassion so you can work on that.

As for "using the woman thing to excuse being an asshole," I will remember that the next time someone asks me "are you on your period or something?" I will certainly make sure I respond kindly and nicely to the asshole who says that to me, just so that you aren't upset by seeing a woman make a good point.

Seriously, though, honor, this seems like you describing your own issues. You know virtually nothing about my life, and yet you have described with great detail a disturbingly specific picture of the internal life of someone. Best guess is you are describing yourself, and since you really don't like what you see you need to project it on someone else. But that's just a guess, because I don't know you. Just like you don't know me.

Your belligerent responses are adding quite a bit to the background of this thread however, regarding the toxic manner in which some men respond to women.

Lem, I'm not going to pander or play the game. You keep responding to people like an asshole. It's cluttering up the conversation because it does.

Yeah, I don't know you. I don't know for sure you're a woman, even. I assume you are who you say you are because we typically give one another the benefit of a doubt because that makes for good social interactions. You know, what non-assholes are hoping to achieve. But for all I know you could be a 4chan supertroll really getting off on this stuff and going back to 4chan making memes about it.

Which is why I choose to just respond to your behavior as an individual and point out - you keep responding to people like an asshole. And then you excuse it and attack people for pointing it out. I'd say a 4chan supertroll would be loving this play for sure.

Just own you're reactions, maybe take a breath before swinging on someone for a perceived offense, be an example of what you think others should be doing. Or, you know. accept people will excuse their own bad behavior and be assholes towards you, too, and around goes the world.

[asbestosman]

Honor, shut the fork up. Let's not tone police victims or tell them how they fail to be model victims. Whatever Lem's imperfections may or may not be are irrelevant to the question of her being a victim.

Bringing it back to the idea of this thread though, if men who perpetuate sexism want mercy for their actual imperfections (undeserved though said mercy may be), maybe we ought to give it to the actual victims by not getting distracted by irrelevant details of their potential or alleged imperfections. Just a thought.