I loved to see posters like Paul. Non LDS lurkers will see the true Mormon in him and be turned off.
Porter,
You evil fiend! Your wickedness has consumed you. Hell awaits you. You make the devil and his angels rejoice!
Your head will be crushed on Judgment Day.
Paul O
Paul! Dude! I really, really do like your posts, but this is the best one of all!
Paul Osborne wrote:Your head will be crushed on Judgment Day.
Where is that reference, please? I want to quote it to my other exmo friends!
Thanks!
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder" --Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager
Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.
Religion is ignorance reduced to a system.
Paul! Dude! I really, really do like your posts, but this is the best one of all!
Well, you know, Porter pops his ugly head into nice threads and vomits.
Now, I am no meaner than Nephi who spoke out against those who fight against the restored Church. I'm just reminding everyone that the Book of Mormon prophets speak harshly against people like Porter. The Book of Mormon prophets condemn him! Porter will find himself in flames of torment where fire does not die and exquisite torment is the reward of the wicked.
Porter be warned, because the darkness you have taken into your heart is blacker than coal and more evil than anything you can imagine. Shake of the chains of Satan and repent! Laugh if you will but spiritual death and destruction will overtake you unless you repent while it is called, “today”.
Paul! Dude! I really, really do like your posts, but this is the best one of all!
Well, you know, Porter pops his ugly head into nice threads and vomits.
Now, I am no meaner than Nephi who spoke out against those who fight against the restored Church. I'm just reminding everyone that the Book of Mormon prophets speak harshly against people like Porter. The Book of Mormon prophets condemn him! Porter will find himself in flames of torment where fire does not die and exquisite torment is the reward of the wicked.
Porter be warned, because the darkness you have taken into your heart is blacker than coal and more evil than anything you can imagine. Shake of the chains of Satan and repent! Laugh if you will but spiritual death and destruction will overtake you unless you repent while it is called, “today”.
Paul O
Of course, that's assuming that there actually was a person called Nephi. I like you, Paul, particularly for your plain-spokenness. President Hinckley could learn a lot from you.
Well, thanks. Most people really do like me. I can be mean on the Internet but pretty nice in real life.
Yes, I think President Hinckley could learn a new thing from me. He has not reached perfection, yet. Neither have I. He has a tough job. He has to be the prophet for the whole world and not just a little band. How difficult it is to bring in the sheep/wheat without making a mess of the whole vineyard. These things have to be done very carefully with skill and wisdom. Thank God I'm not the prophet. But I can still call the whole world to repentence! Yes indeed - repent!
moksha wrote:I have liked Paul since FAIR. He is one of the world's foremost experts on Reformed Egyptian. I suspect that only he and maybe Dr. Daniel Peterson could carry on a conversation in Reformed Egyptian. Have any of you seen his site?
Well, I'm not really that smart. Just an average guy having gifts in certain areas as we all do. I do admit to having a good working knowedge of the Egyptian language so long as I have my books handy. My memory is failing and my mind tends to drift away.
Thanks for your vote of confidence.
Paul O
Even speaking meandering Reformed Egyptian when your mind wanders puts you into world class on that subject. Don't worry, we all tend to... what was I saying? Too many Egyptologists concentrate on regular Egyptian and simply ignore the Reformed version.
SMART BITCH wrote:If I write a Bible I will accpet only stuff from women writers
It will be the women's Bible of love
Now all you have to do is build up a membership that covers the globe and will do whatever you say. Only this time you can't use your power of sexual attraction. I know you think women don't end up as prophets because of sexism. I'll concede that could be a part of it, but I have a different view as well. Being a successful religious leader requires you to get a lot of people to really like you. Women are taught from a young age in this country to always stand up for what they believe in, develop a fight back in your face attitude towards men, and don't get me started on how contentious women can be amongst themselves.
Guess what, you'll never have a church bigger than five or six people acting like that, and unless you're really putting out you'll never see a man there either. Why do you think more people voted for Bill Clinton than would vote for Hillary? Bill understands that sometimes being right is not nearly as important to a politician as being popular. Hillary should know this, but she's simply not capable of doing it. It's too important to her to be right and vindicate herself against everyone.
Indeed women have held positions of leadership in times past, but they were nothing like the women of today. These women loved their men and were held up by them in return.
And when the confederates saw Jackson standing fearless as a stone wall the army of Northern Virginia took courage and drove the federal army off their land.
Gazelam wrote:"..... This lake of fire, a figure symbolical of eternal anguish and wo, is also called hell reserved exclusively for the devil and his angels which includes the sons of perdition." Mormon Doctrine p.351
Now, where are all of the apologists who like to distance themselves from McConkie when they want his book to be a non-authoritative source?
I thought only the Standard Works could be trusted. Now some commercial publication is enough?
Oh! Right! It's authoritative when you need it to be.
The thing that we need to understand about our friend Gazelam here, is that he is a chapel Mormon. Gazelam believes in the Universal flood of Noah. He quoted from the Book, 'Mormon Doctrine' on the Zion Lighthouse Message Board, which teaches and agrees with the Universal flood of Noah. Nearly all internet Mormons do not believe in the the Universal flood of Noah. Nearly all internet Mormons believe that the flood of Noah was a local flood, or that the flood is an allegory.
Gee wiz Paul. You sound more like J. Golden Kimball there than Bruce R.
1. I believe in the universal flood.
Of course you do.
2. I enjoy the teachings of elder McConkie.
It's definitely an acquired taste.
3. I don't wear ties to Church.
You're going to burn in hell for that you know.
4. I believe the Book of Mormon is a true history and that the Indians are Lamanites.
As do most Mormons who put on the blinders. You're not a minority yet, but you will be probably within your own lifetime.
6. Elder Packer is a holy man and a prophet, seer, and revelator.
I thought you'd like him. It'll be interesting to see which way the Church goes if he becomes prophet. My guess is there will be a great sifting. It makes me wonder if the other members of the twelve will allow him to do what he wants if that happens. Numbers are very important to the Church you know.
7. Daniel Peterson is a pompous ass – I don’t respect him.
Maybe I'll get my turn, I'm sure.
8. Hugh Nibley is overrated and members shouldn’t spend so much time reading his stuff.
Yeah, but before internet the other stuff was beyond boring.
9. Homosexual activity is serious sin.
Replusive, yes I'd have to agree. Yet I still fail to understand why the Church chooses to make such a big deal about it, especially when Hinck is selling out on so many plain and precious truths and not to mention putting himself through way too much torment to make Mormons look more mainstream. Just dropping the homosexual thing would have helped a lot.
10. The Book of Abraham is the word of God.
Yeah, yeah, just as the Bible, Book of Mormon and Old Testament are the word of God. Leave it at that and everyone agrees.
11. President Hinckley is more powerful than people realize and could call down fire from heaven in a heartbeat.
I think he'd already have done it by now. That last reporter seemed to really tick him off with the Brigham Young quote on blacks and the mark of Cain. I'll miss Hinck's interviews when he's gone though. I doubt any other Mormon prophet would have the guts to do a live interview on CNN.
12. I wear mostly colored shirts to Church.
Well, I don't see how you can burn in hell twice, but hey, "The Lord will never give you more than you can handle!" Maybe that's why they got rid of that eternal nature of Hell idea. The threat sure loses its bite after one usage.
Thanks for the laughs. Now can you give me a custom made rebuke kind of like the one you gave Polygamy Porter.
And when the confederates saw Jackson standing fearless as a stone wall the army of Northern Virginia took courage and drove the federal army off their land.