Typical adult Mormon baptism

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
_Polygamy Porter
_Emeritus
Posts: 2204
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:04 am

Typical adult Mormon baptism

Post by _Polygamy Porter »

No, not covert. They don't count converts, only those who pass through the turnstile located on the steps of the baptismal font.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ulRnhZnkeM
_Runtu
_Emeritus
Posts: 16721
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:06 am

Re: Typical adult Mormon baptism

Post by _Runtu »

Polygamy Porter wrote:No, not covert. They don't count converts, only those who pass through the turnstile located on the steps of the baptismal font.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ulRnhZnkeM


We had a recent convert in our ward, a PhD student, and I was really curious about his conversion. At stake conference, he spoke about his experience. So, if the boys in Salt Lake are listening, here's the way to do it:

1. Have a Mormon girlfriend.

2. Restrict your Internet research to LDS.org and Mormons.org.

3. Read only the LDS scriptures and materials the missionaries give you.

If they can get people to do this, the baptisms should start flooding in.
_Mercury
_Emeritus
Posts: 5545
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:14 pm

Re: Typical adult Mormon baptism

Post by _Mercury »

Runtu wrote:
Polygamy Porter wrote:No, not covert. They don't count converts, only those who pass through the turnstile located on the steps of the baptismal font.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ulRnhZnkeM


We had a recent convert in our ward, a PhD student, and I was really curious about his conversion. At stake conference, he spoke about his experience. So, if the boys in Salt Lake are listening, here's the way to do it:

1. Have a Mormon girlfriend.

2. Restrict your Internet research to LDS.org and Mormons.org.

3. Read only the LDS scriptures and materials the missionaries give you.

If they can get people to do this, the baptisms should start flooding in.


Counter-conversion steps:

1. go to www.google.com

2. type "Mormon" in the search box

Deconversion should soon follow
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
_Polygamy Porter
_Emeritus
Posts: 2204
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:04 am

Re: Typical adult Mormon baptism

Post by _Polygamy Porter »

Runtu wrote:
Polygamy Porter wrote:No, not covert. They don't count converts, only those who pass through the turnstile located on the steps of the baptismal font.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ulRnhZnkeM


We had a recent convert in our ward, a PhD student, and I was really curious about his conversion. At stake conference, he spoke about his experience. So, if the boys in Salt Lake are listening, here's the way to do it:

1. Have a Mormon girlfriend.

2. Restrict your Internet research to LDS.org and Mormons.org.

3. Read only the LDS scriptures and materials the missionaries give you.

If they can get people to do this, the baptisms should start flooding in.
IS his girlfriend hot?
I mean what normal non Mormon man would even consider looking at Mormonism if his GF is fugly?

Plus I wonder if she gave him some levi lovin...

The other side to relationships like this is the Mormon girl feels like she is being challenged by her Mormon family/friends and is thereby on her own quest to prove them all wrong by converting him...
_Mister Scratch
_Emeritus
Posts: 5604
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:13 pm

Re: Typical adult Mormon baptism

Post by _Mister Scratch »

Runtu wrote:
Polygamy Porter wrote:No, not covert. They don't count converts, only those who pass through the turnstile located on the steps of the baptismal font.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ulRnhZnkeM


We had a recent convert in our ward, a PhD student, and I was really curious about his conversion. At stake conference, he spoke about his experience. So, if the boys in Salt Lake are listening, here's the way to do it:

1. Have a Mormon girlfriend.

2. Restrict your Internet research to LDS.org and Mormons.org.

3. Read only the LDS scriptures and materials the missionaries give you.

If they can get people to do this, the baptisms should start flooding in.


I believe that the "boys in Salt Lake" are well aware of this, hence FARMS, FAIR, BKP's "The Mantle is Far, Far Greater Than the Intellect," the Strengthening Church Members Committee, and so on. It seems that the Brethren want very much to control all aspects of LDS history, and I believe that if they had to ability to completely alter the historical records, they would---or else they would limit the material in such a way that it totally guaranteed an absence of apostasy.
_Gazelam
_Emeritus
Posts: 5659
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:06 am

Post by _Gazelam »

Yeh, cause it couldent possibly have anything to do with a witness of the Spirit.

Image
"Theres no such thing as the Holy Ghost !"
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
_Runtu
_Emeritus
Posts: 16721
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:06 am

Post by _Runtu »

Gazelam wrote:Yeh, cause it couldent possibly have anything to do with a witness of the Spirit.

"Theres no such thing as the Holy Ghost !"


Oddly enough, that was the one thing he didn't mention in his talk. He just said that reading the materials and studying with the missionaries, he thought it made sense and sounded good.
_Gazelam
_Emeritus
Posts: 5659
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:06 am

Post by _Gazelam »

If his testimony is not founded on a witness of the spirit, then he is rideing his girlfriends coattails and has no foundation. Hopefully that will come for him later. Sometimes the requirements have to be lived for a bit I guess. "Witness comes after the trial of faith" or something like that.

Gaz
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
_Runtu
_Emeritus
Posts: 16721
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:06 am

Post by _Runtu »

Gazelam wrote:If his testimony is not founded on a witness of the spirit, then he is rideing his girlfriends coattails and has no foundation. Hopefully that will come for him later. Sometimes the requirements have to be lived for a bit I guess. "Witness comes after the trial of faith" or something like that.

Gaz


Hmmm. I had the witness of the spirit. I lived the requirements. I must be plain evil. ;-)
_Gazelam
_Emeritus
Posts: 5659
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:06 am

Post by _Gazelam »

Why do you go against the witness you received?
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
Post Reply