Standard narratives and anger

[_wenglund]

John: We're getting nowhere.

Welcome to Wade's World, also known as nowhere.

Let me respond to that snear with this smiling thought:

One kind word can warm three winter months - Japanese Saying

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Runtu]

The conversation seems to have gone this way:

John: I may have misread you because of my background.
Wade: Well, you clearly have your reasons for stubbornly hanging onto something I've already corrected.
John: I'm saying that I've let go of that, and I'm sorry I misread your intention.
Wade: Now you're misreading me again.
John: We're getting nowhere.

I don't recognize my part in that particular conversation, but here are the specific statements I was responding to:

John: I read your condemnation of anger and grief as simply an extension of that same suppressing attitude I grew up with.

Wade: Speaking of cognitive distortions, I explicitly corrected that false perception (about suppressing emotions) no less than three times on the thread in questions. Seems you need to hold onto it dearly for reasons of your own. I can accept that.

John: I wonder why you read my admission of my own mischaracterization of your intent as an implicit criticism of you.

Wade: I wasn't aware that I had. In fact, I am quite confident that I hadn't.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Thanks for spelling it out. Your first statement tells me that you believe I still harbor a false perception that I need to hold onto.

[_wenglund]

The conversation seems to have gone this way:

John: I may have misread you because of my background.
Wade: Well, you clearly have your reasons for stubbornly hanging onto something I've already corrected.
John: I'm saying that I've let go of that, and I'm sorry I misread your intention.
Wade: Now you're misreading me again.
John: We're getting nowhere.

I don't recognize my part in that particular conversation, but here are the specific statements I was responding to:

John: I read your condemnation of anger and grief as simply an extension of that same suppressing attitude I grew up with.

Wade: Speaking of cognitive distortions, I explicitly corrected that false perception (about suppressing emotions) no less than three times on the thread in questions. Seems you need to hold onto it dearly for reasons of your own. I can accept that.

John: I wonder why you read my admission of my own mischaracterization of your intent as an implicit criticism of you.

Wade: I wasn't aware that I had. In fact, I am quite confident that I hadn't.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Thanks for spelling it out. Your first statement tells me that you believe I still harbor a false perception that I need to hold onto.

Following that statement you said: "I'm not holding onto something that I recognize was probably colored by my own experience."

I took you at your word, and left it at that.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Runtu]

Following that statement you said: "I'm not holding onto something that I recognize was probably colored by my own experience."

I took you at your word, and left it at that.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Fair enough, then.

[_wenglund]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

I will explain a bit more about this when I start the thread: "CBT for Wade and Loran".

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Mister Scratch]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

You mean via a kind of "brain washing"?

I will explain a bit more about this when I start the thread: "CBT for Wade and Loran".

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I'll be curious to see what you have to say.

[_wenglund]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

You mean via a kind of "brain washing"?

No. It is accomplished through reasoning.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Mister Scratch]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

You mean via a kind of "brain washing"?

No. It is accomplished through reasoning.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

"Reasoning away" your emotions sounds very much like brainwashing to me, Wade.

[_wenglund]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

You mean via a kind of "brain washing"?

No. It is accomplished through reasoning.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

"Reasoning away" your emotions sounds very much like brainwashing to me, Wade.

That is an unreasonable and emotive thing for you to say. ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Mister Scratch]

Bull. Your entire approach involves some kind of arcane "CHOOSING" to either express or suppress emotion, Wade.

False.

Or are you actually positing that angry emotions are some kind of la-la land fantasy, and that it's actually possible for a person to determine how they feel about and react to things?

True--at least in part. Emotions are not a fantasy, but are certainly affected by a variety of factors, not the least of which is our cognitions. We can, to some degree, alter our moods and our emotions by changing the way we think.

You mean via a kind of "brain washing"?

No. It is accomplished through reasoning.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

"Reasoning away" your emotions sounds very much like brainwashing to me, Wade.

That is an unreasonable and emotive thing for you to say. ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I think there is a worthwhile distinction to be made between "reasoning with" one's emotions vs. "reasoning them away." You seem to continuously demand the latter, which strikes me as being rather akin to brainwashing.