Chat live with a missionary is very FUN!

Post by **_moksha** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:32 am

Porter, I hope you have a box of tissue paper handy for when you are on-line with the missionaries.

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:06 am

moksha wrote:Porter, I hope you have a box of tissue paper handy for when you are on-line with the missionaries.

For sopping up the tears from laughing so hard?

Nah, I am more seasoned than that. I already know what their response will be when I ask certain questions. Almost like handing them the bear trap and they put it on their foot like a shoe!

I dunno, but I think LDS Inc will begin moving in more seasoned internet Mormons for folks like me. This guy had not ever heard about the papyrus and it's rediscovery! I had to ave him read the header to the Book of Abraham for him to believe me. AND he served a mission and worked at the MTC training missionaries!

It was like clockwork how he would attempt to bear his testiphony everytime I had a question that did not deal with me wanting to have a mor'gasmic warm fuzzy.

Post by **_Roger Morrison** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:16 am

barrelomonkeys wrote:
DonBradley wrote:You can chat live with a missionary? How?

You can go to Mormon.org and click on "Ask a Question" and then click on "Chat Live".

I feel so sorry for that poor missionary.

Thanks for the site ref. Although it is in my file i haven't done the "Chat"... Any special 'tools' required? Will my SKYPE head-gear work???? I did an E-mail question & hope for an answer... Never did get an answer before... Mouth to mouth should be much better... RM

Post by **_Chap** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:51 am

Polygamy Porter wrote:
Mr. Coffee wrote:This thread is worthless without a chatlog to read and laugh at....
When I first started chatting there, the beta allowed you to copy and paste the text... not anymore... sorry

Anything that appears on your screen can be 'grabbed' as a snapshot of the screen, and then you can show it to us as a graphic.

Post by **_Mr. Coffee** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:04 am

Chap wrote:Anything that appears on your screen can be 'grabbed' as a snapshot of the screen, and then you can show it to us as a graphic.

Yeah... Next time just tap "print screen" and post it. This way we can all share in the hilarity.

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:51 am

I can't get it to work for some reason. I think I need to talk to a missionary.

Post by **_Mercury** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:37 am

I highly recommend one participate in the mindf****** of these poor souls. Its fun!

Porter, Damn straight man.

Best of times!

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:57 am

Mercury wrote:I highly recommend one participate in the mindfzking of these poor souls. Its fun!

Porter, Damn straight man.

Best of times!

I signed on as a born again woman tonight.

Small talk at first, I told him that I was born again AND baptized in a swimming pool of a minister.

AGAIN, like a cult clock clanging on the minute mark, the unwitting fool on the kept injecting his stupid lame testiphony.

We had not even TALKED about the Book of Mormon and he spouts off, almost robotically, "IF you will pray sincerely to god with real intent to know that the Book of Mormon is true, then you will receive a spiritual witness of it and you will know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of god and the restoration"

GOOD GOD! Do they even screen these idiots? Is the only requirement garments and a temple recommmend?

I responded back, "the book of what?"

"Oh sorry, I guess I have not told you about the Book of Mormon..."

He gave me a brief history, pointed me to the Mormon.org page and I quickly pointed out "so you think that all other Christians are wrong?"

"NO! we just want to add to your strong christian beliefs!", he backed up into a corner..

I moved in closer to the scared cornered cat, "BUT the Smith story says that Jesus himself said all of the churches were WRONG... who is correct? You or Jesus?"

With that he conceded, "Yes we believe that all other churches are wrong. With out the correct version of christianity you will not return to heaven."

I acted put off and cited how I felt at my non denominational Christian baptism.. and asked, "Why did I feel so touched by the spirit of God?"

"I don't know", he finally responded and then attempted to shove another testimony-suppository up my backside. "Look, I have received a witness that this is the only true church of god on earth! And you too can have that same witness if you will just pray and ask if Joseph Smith was a prophet of god... Joseph Smith brought christianity back to the earth and restored it fully!"

We spoke about polyg and how men can have more than one wife in heaven.

I told him that as a woman that scared me.

I asked if polygamy was part of the "restored gospel" and he said "YES, for a time"

"WHAT? Was Jesus a polygamist?"

"NO, but prophets before him were and that makes it part of the full gospel"

"But they were part of the OLD TESTAMENT", I said.

"Jesus was still their savior, so that makes it part of the gospel"
"But then god decided we did not need to practice it any more and had it removed."

Oh yeah! I had fun tonight! No need to hide or even set the bear traps, just ask them to put them on!

I think I may have a new addiciton.. *cue insidious evil laughter*

Post by **_Mercury** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:05 am

Hey Port! How do we know this thing is not a computer? I wonder if a Mormon could pass a Turing test...

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:29 am

Mercury wrote:Hey Port! How do we know this thing is not a computer? I wonder if a Mormon could pass a Turing test...

Riiiight... the Mormons spending money on technology? WHY when they have zealous foaming at the mouth garment wearing idiot ZOOBIES from BYU beating down the door to work at the MTC?