Chat live with a missionary is very FUN!

[_Bond...James Bond]

Ah, Dan P doesn't approve of the harmless little prank 'calls'. Apparently he feels that signing up on other message boards under anonymous pseudonyms just to ruffle feathers is sooo much more noble.

Yep....ole Danny had this to say on The-Board-That-Must-Not-Be-Named (sorry I'm in Harry Potter mode for Book 7):

I'm sure it's amusing a few people.

As you and I both know, it's been amusing at least one person for the past couple of nights. I regard his behavior as pretty distasteful. I myself wouldn't do what he's been doing to any volunteer or staffer for any religion (or, for that matter, for any form of irreligion). It doesn't reflect positively on his kindness or maturity.

Paging Mr. Porter.....it appears someone dislikes your hobbies.

I think it's more than one person.

Ah, it seems you're right.

Too bad.

Anybody who gets a kick of pretending to be something he's not in order to torment and humiliate an innocent, unwitting victim, and then boasts about his behavior and enlists others to join in the tormenting and humiliation, seems to me . . . well, a problematic personality. (Putting it mildly.)

So is Dan an armchair psychologist now too? Was there something written on the Golden Plates by Freud?

I wonder what these folks are like in real life. Maybe I'm better off not knowing.

Say it ain't so Danny. We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this board war gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.


(Note: almost all of the above is a line taken from the movie Anchorman. I, I repeat, I don't miss Dan Peterson's musk.)

[_Polygamy Porter]

Ah, Dan P doesn't approve of the harmless little prank 'calls'. Apparently he feels that signing up on other message boards under anonymous pseudonyms just to ruffle feathers is sooo much more noble.

Yep....ole Danny had this to say on The-Board-That-Must-Not-Be-Named (sorry I'm in Harry Potter mode for Book 7):

I'm sure it's amusing a few people.

As you and I both know, it's been amusing at least one person for the past couple of nights. I regard his behavior as pretty distasteful. I myself wouldn't do what he's been doing to any volunteer or staffer for any religion (or, for that matter, for any form of irreligion). It doesn't reflect positively on his kindness or maturity.

Paging Mr. Porter.....it appears someone dislikes your hobbies.

I think it's more than one person.

Ah, it seems you're right.

Too bad.

Anybody who gets a kick of pretending to be something he's not in order to torment and humiliate an innocent, unwitting victim, and then boasts about his behavior and enlists others to join in the tormenting and humiliation, seems to me . . . well, a problematic personality. (Putting it mildly.)

So is Dan an armchair psychologist now too? Was there something written on the Golden Plates by Freud?

I wonder what these folks are like in real life. Maybe I'm better off not knowing.

Say it ain't so Danny. We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this board war gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.


(Note: almost all of the above is a line taken from the movie Anchorman. I, I repeat, I don't miss Dan Peterson's musk.)

Excellent!

I figure each time I play pretend investigator, its worth $20 worth of yucks for me. So unless I get some tithing dollars back, I have many years of yucks ahead of me!

I bet freaks like Donut breath are chomping at the bit to put these unwitting testiphony robots through his mo'pologist boot camp. However, as well proven in his little corner of the world, mo'pologetics will never gain converts. So grab a bag of donuts DANNY, a new text based reality show is coming to an exmo board near you! The trailers appear to be a hit, so let us begin a full season of production!

The really sad reality is Danny does not even know if my chats are REAL! I know both sides of the Mormon member so bleeping well, Internet and Chapel, that I can spin both the dolts at the mo'chat room and unwitting lurkers such as he!

All I do is present internet Mormonism to these chapel morons and the trap is set! Then I sit back and watch as they approach. GAWD the anticipation is TREMENDOUS!!! When they finally answer EXACTLY as I set them up to, I nearly hit my head on the ceiling jumping from sheer excitement as I whoop and holler! My kids run in and ask what is going on and I tell em "I hooked another sucker!"

Wouldn't that be SWEET if one of Danny's sons ended up working there and reporting a conversation that he had with me or one of us as a pretend investigator and Danny read it before his son reported it to his daddy!!!

Taunting the unwitting at the mo'chat room is as easy as feeding alka-seltzers to the Carp in the fish pond at Lagoon(Mormon owned amusement park in Utah)! These zealous hungry fools think its bread they are eating, only to swim away to soon realize they cannot dive for life sustaining water bound oxygen because they are filling with the gassy fizz from the alka-seltzers that they so rabidly ate minutes earlier!

The next morning the grounds keeper scoops the floating dead carp from their ironically watery graves! So will the grounds keeper of the mo'chat rooms do soon, scooping up the left behind dead and decaying testiphonies that could no longer live in the thinking person's hearts and heads!

Rejoice fellow truth mongers! The year of the exmormon is upon us! We no longer have to lie in wait to "deceive" ... they line em up to CHAT with us!

[_Jersey Girl]

Jussec....

Dan

Anybody who gets a kick of pretending to be something he's not in order to torment and humiliate an innocent, unwitting victim, and then boasts about his behavior and enlists others to join in the tormenting and humiliation, seems to me . . . well, a problematic personality. (Putting it mildly.)

I personally wouldn't do what others are doing here with the Mormon.org chat thing but...how can he call them innocent and unwitting victims? Aren't these folks that the church has stationed and reading to answer front line questions?

That comment doesn't make sense to me at all.

Let me try that again. These are folks that the church deems equipped to handle the inquiries..but when people ask tough questions then it is tormenting and humiliating the innocent and unwitting victim?

Huh? Again, huh?

[_Polygamy Porter]

Porter,

No one would touch you with a 10 foot pole unless you paid them. Your whole personality would attract only harlots. I don't believe anyone would stay married to you, let alone marry you. You're gross, man. Get your own bottle of pills - I'm not sharing mine with you.

Do you take showers? I was just wondering.

Paul O

Keep trying Paul, it is very telling.

just so you know, a well respected member of this board will be meeting my wife and myself for dinner soon. I will encourage this person to return and report on how pleasant, daily bathed, shaved, and handsome I look and also report on the hotness of my wife. Nope, no wanking needed here, cuz not only is she hot but she loves to share her hotness with da' Porter!

With all of the problems you exhibit here Paul, and IF you are married, I already have an idea of what your wife looks like. The mo'chapels are full of em on Sunday. Honestly, I'd spank that monkey if I were a husband of such a woman. Ever wonder why porn and such activities are so rampant in the only true church of god? Men are sex machines and have drives that these sexually repressed frumpy women can't and won't fulfill. They do not enjoy real sex, and many feel that enjoyment of pure sex is wrong. Not saying all, but the vast majority.

So, these Mormon men(men with normal male sex drives) see this real sex and then some on the internet and the once a month missionary position with Frumpy Dumpy Dorthy just is not enough for them. Soon they are caught up in a habitual daily relationship of calling up their secret right hand mistress and go on a late night 15 minute cyberdate--downstairs in the family room!

Remember the stake president mayor of Clearfield last year? BUSTED for porn on his city owned laptop? All because his Mormon wife would not give him what he needed. Real sex that he saw over 8,000 times on his laptop.

[_Polygamy Porter]

Jussec....

Dan

Anybody who gets a kick of pretending to be something he's not in order to torment and humiliate an innocent, unwitting victim, and then boasts about his behavior and enlists others to join in the tormenting and humiliation, seems to me . . . well, a problematic personality. (Putting it mildly.)

I personally wouldn't do what others are doing here with the Mormon.org chat thing but...how can he call them innocent and unwitting victims? Aren't these folks that the church has stationed and reading to answer front line questions?

That comment doesn't make sense to me at all.

Let me try that again. These are folks that the church deems equipped to handle the inquiries..but when people ask tough questions then it is tormenting and humiliating the innocent and unwitting victim?

Huh? Again, huh?

Actually, several of them have confirmed that they ARE NOT VOLUNTEERS.

They confirmed that they WORK for the MTC. I even told one that I thought the church was not getting their moneys worth with them spouting off half truths that a nonmember corrected them on! He was the one that said god and Jesus told Joseph Smith in the first vision that he would restore the truth, to which I bitch slapped him with a link from the very PAGE HE SENT ME! That was sweet.

So say what you will, these suckers get paid to pontificate their pious position of poor picked on people of god. I am just there getting my tithing back, one yuck at a time!

[_The Nehor]

Porter,

No one would touch you with a 10 foot pole unless you paid them. Your whole personality would attract only harlots. I don't believe anyone would stay married to you, let alone marry you. You're gross, man. Get your own bottle of pills - I'm not sharing mine with you.

Do you take showers? I was just wondering.

Paul O

Keep trying Paul, it is very telling.

just so you know, a well respected member of this board will be meeting my wife and myself for dinner soon. I will encourage this person to return and report on how pleasant, daily bathed, shaved, and handsome I look and also report on the hotness of my wife. Nope, no wanking needed here, cuz not only is she hot but she loves to share her hotness with da' Porter!

With all of the problems you exhibit here Paul, and IF you are married, I already have an idea of what your wife looks like. The mo'chapels are full of em on Sunday. Honestly, I'd spank that monkey if I were a husband of such a woman. Ever wonder why porn and such activities are so rampant in the only true church of god? Men are sex machines and have drives that these sexually repressed frumpy women can't and won't fulfill. They do not enjoy real sex, and many feel that enjoyment of pure sex is wrong. Not saying all, but the vast majority.

So, these Mormon men(men with normal male sex drives) see this real sex and then some on the internet and the once a month missionary position with Frumpy Dumpy Dorthy just is not enough for them. Soon they are caught up in a habitual daily relationship of calling up their secret right hand mistress and go on a late night 15 minute cyberdate--downstairs in the family room!

Remember the stake president mayor of Clearfield last year? BUSTED for porn on his city owned laptop? All because his Mormon wife would not give him what he needed. Real sex that he saw over 8,000 times on his laptop.

And we devolve to attacks on masculinity in general and the primitive competition for the supposedly attractive women......the boards are crazy tonight....and where are the feminists when you need them?

[_Who Knows]

Hey Dan P - let me ask you to do the same thing you asked of Jersey Girl (which she kindly obliged): You're registered {free to register} here, why don't you come here and talk to us about it? (we would do the same if we could)

I'm trying to figure out what your problem is. Are you not a fan of practical jokes / pranks in general? Or is it the fact that they involve religion (which apparently seems to be off limits for some reason)? Or do you just not like the people who are doing it? Or are you worried that the missionaries might just realize they don't know a whole lot about the church, and might start to ask themselves some serious questions? Is it the anonymity of it?

Perhaps you're just not a fan of practical jokes / pranks in general. You feel that you've 'outgrown' that type of juvenile behavior? That's ok, some people just aren't. Growing up, I was pretty insecure, and I wasn't a big fan of them either.

I'm curious - how did you feel about the 'metcalfe is butthead' thing? Or the krispy kreme thing at last years fair conference? Perhaps you found them humorous. Perhaps you didn't. Some people did, some people may not have. You (and others) may find your self-deprecating style of posting as humorous, while some may not. People have different senses of humor. What about candid camera? Did you like that show?

Or perhaps, you're just feeling bad about yourself, since the guy I spoke with had never heard of fair or farms, and you're realizing the irrelevance of what you do. Who knows?

Oh, and I thought you were bragging a few months ago about how you never called people names? We must have really pushed a button, to have you call us 'wretches'. (who actually calls people 'wretches' anyways?)

Beastie - as always - you were right.

edit - for those wondering - yes, I'm like this in real life. I enjoy a good practical joke / prank. My wife and I try to get each other every now and then. In fact, ironically, I first started doing them in the MTC (like I mentioned, i was too insecure for them before that) where I learned some from others there. And then they continued on my mission.

But no, sorry, I haven't seen borat. Although I'm a fan of 'Jackass', for certain personal reasons.

[_silentkid]

The thing I find most fascinating about this thread is how it shows the apparent lack of church history knowledge possessed by these "chat missionaries". This serves as a great rebuttal to all those apologists who complain when former/doubting members ask why they never heard about these controversial issues (i.e. Joseph's polygamy, lack of archeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, etc.). The apologetic response is usually something along the lines of "the information is out there...the church is not hiding it...it's your responsibility to research it"...etc. They certainly didn't address any of the controversial stuff when I was in the MTC or in my various religion classes at BYU (the one exception being the two cumorah theory). These chatting missionaries, these representatives of the church, have not heard about these issues! They must be lazy.

[_Some Schmo]

Or are you worried that the missionaries might just realize they don't know a whole lot about the church, and might start to ask themselves some serious questions?

I think you've hit the nail on the head, here. This is why Mormons get so up in arms over any challenging information. If their brand of "truth" were so iron clad, where's the need to get upset at all? The truth is the truth. You can feel good about the truth if you know the truth.

However, if your brand of truth is suspect or easily disputed, maybe it's not so true after all, and hey, if you've invested a lot of time and money in it, it's going to piss you off when people knock it over.

[_Some Schmo]

The thing I find most fascinating about this thread is how it shows the apparent lack of church history knowledge possessed by these "chat missionaries". This serves as a great rebuttal to all those apologists who complain when former/doubting members ask why they never heard about these controversial issues (I.e. Joseph's polygamy, lack of archeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, etc.). The apologetic response is usually something along the lines of "the information is out there...the church is not hiding it...it's your responsibility to research it"...etc. They certainly didn't address any of the controversial stuff when I was in the MTC or in my various religion classes at BYU (the one exception being the two cumorah theory). These chatting missionaries, these representatives of the church, have not heard about these issues! They must be lazy.

Considering this easily available information is termed "anti-mormon", investigating it is actually discouraged. I think it's hilarious that the Mormon's own history is considered anti-mormon literature.

Sometimes, the truth isn't very useful. LOL