"WHERE ELSE COULD WE GO?.."

[_Polygamy Porter]

Beastie,

Oh, I knew one of those mothers too. Hated her!!! :)


What is the Relief Society?

Something Joseph Smith came up with to make his jealous wife Emma feel important and needed in her husband's cult.

Most Mormon women do not know how much Brigham Young HATED Emma. This hatred for Emma was disseminated down from him to the body of the church. Harmony and some of the more "experienced" mo/exmo ladies on this board can remember the disdain the body of the church held for Emma. It has only been over the past 10-15 years that they have repackaged Emma and Joe as the perfect loving monogamous first couple of Mormondom.

Additionally, most Mormons do not know that Briggie put the kibosh on the "Relief Society" from 1844 to 1880. Briggie did not like the Relief Society.

One last misleading static the Mormon leaders love to banter in public. The Relief Society is the oldest and largest Women's organization in the world.

Misleading because, every female over the age of 18 who has her name on the records is COUNTED as a member of this largest Women's organization. Yes, even if they NEVER attend church or Relief Society meetings EVER.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Beastie,

Oh, I knew one of those mothers too. Hated her!!! :)


What is the Relief Society?

Something Joseph Smith came up with to make his jealous wife Emma feel important and needed in her husband's cult.

Most Mormon women do not know how much Brigham Young HATED Emma. This hatred for Emma was disseminated down from him to the body of the church. Harmony and some of the more "experienced" mo/exmo ladies on this board can remember the disdain the body of the church held for Emma. It has only been over the past 10-15 years that they have repackaged Emma and Joe as the perfect loving monogamous first couple of Mormondom.

Additionally, most Mormons do not know that Briggie put the kibosh on the "Relief Society" from 1844 to 1880. Briggie did not like the Relief Society.

One last misleading static the Mormon leaders love to banter in public. The Relief Society is the oldest and largest Women's organization in the world.

Misleading because, every female over the age of 18 who has her name on the records is COUNTED as a member of this largest Women's organization. Yes, even if they NEVER attend church or Relief Society meetings EVER.

What does the relief society do?

[_skippy the dead]

What does the relief society do?

Mostly gossip.

[_Seven]

I have a friend who is not your typical Chapel Mormon, but not quite an internet Mo either. She still believes the basic claims of the church and loves the culture. She is always trying to reactivate me and one of her main points has always been "it's a great place to raise your kids." Her belief is that there is no other church with a youth program like the LDS one, and there is no other faith that comes close to LDS on keeping the youth morally clean, honest, etc. She usually brings up statistics and anytime the church is in the news I get to hear about it. I agree that the LDS church does place a high value on family and values (although they are in complete conflict with plural marriage) but I haven't ever been to another church in my entire life and neither has she. For me, this is the toughest part of leaving the church. How will I raise my kids without the youth program and family value based culture? I have family who are no longer believers but remain active for this reason.

[_skippy the dead]

I have a friend who is not your typical Chapel Mormon, but not quite an internet Mo either. She still believes the basic claims of the church and loves the culture. She is always trying to reactivate me and one of her main points has always been "it's a great place to raise your kids." Her belief is that there is no other church with a youth program like the LDS one, and there is no other faith that comes close to LDS on keeping the youth morally clean, honest, etc. She usually brings up statistics and anytime the church is in the news I get to hear about it. I agree that the LDS church does place a high value on family and values (although they are in complete conflict with plural marriage) but I haven't ever been to another church in my entire life and neither has she. For me, this is the toughest part of leaving the church. How will I raise my kids without the youth program and family value based culture? I have family who are no longer believers but remain active for this reason.

Although I'd left the church behind years ago, I had assumed that once I had kids, I'd go back so I'd have a good place to raise them. My non-religious husband was okay with the idea. But after I had my first girl, I realized that there was no way I could raise her in a church that does not allow her to fully explore her potential. I grew up chafing under the "counsel" from the prophets regarding a woman's place (and yes, in the LDS church there is most assuredly a woman's place), but always saw myself as an exception, allowing me to do what I wished. But when push came to shove, I didn't want my daughter having to constantly think of herself as an exception in a religion where no woman could hold any authority over a man, where she was expected to always defer to a man, and where her expected role in life, not just in church, was limited. I also wanted her to be raised thinking "inclusively", rather than "exclusively" (referring to the church's position on non-traditional households or those who don't adhere to the same strict standards). By the time the second daughter came, my decision to never return was firmly made.

What it ultimately came down to was the fact that I can teach my daughters the values that I hold and then some, without the extra baggage that comes from the church.

[_ozemc]

The question isn't "Is this best for my family"

The question is "Is this where the truth about Christ is taught". Everything stems from that point. If its Christs church, then it will be best for your family. All the blessings you associate with Christ will be brought to your family.

Is the truth about Christ found in the Mormon Church. that's the question.

And the answer, for most of us, is no.

[_beastie]

Book of Mormon - (barrel of monkeys, not Book of Mormon)

The relief society has a couple of functions. First, it instructs women above the age of 18 every Sunday on various aspects the LDS church deems important for all its female members to know. The purposes used to be divided up into sections such as "spiritual living" or "homemaking". (I don't know if it is still organized that way or not.) So one lesson a month was about how to be closer to God in some way, another lesson might be about important females in past church history and what their lives can teach current members, another lesson might be about parenting and homemaking. During the week there is another meeting called "homemaking" which instructs women in particular skills related to being a mother. (or maybe it was once a month, I can't remember)

The relief society is also in charge of assigning every sister in the ward, active or no, a "visiting teacher" (it used to be partners of two, I'm not sure if it is still that way). These two visiting teachers had a roster of sisters they were responsible to contact every month to share a brief lesson about spiritual or social responsibility or some such, and to check up and make sure everything was ok with that sister. If she was sick, or recently had a baby, or something like that, it would be up to the visiting teachers to make sure meals were delivered to the family, that sort of thing.

The Relief society president is also responsible for alerting the bishop of the ward as to any problems or needs particular sisters may be having.

Hope that helps.

[_Dr. Shades]

For me, this is the toughest part of leaving the church. How will I raise my kids without the youth program and family value based culture?

Think about it: There are only 12 million Mormons, but 6 billion non-Mormons. In other words, 5,988,000,000 people are raising their kids "without the youth program and family value based culture."

Surely you can find a way, too, since so many others have--right?

I have family who are no longer believers but remain active for this reason.

What's the point? Why not just invent your own youth program and family value based culture? That way you can save your 10% and not teach your girls that their only chance at happiness in life is to be a homemaker.

Sounds like a no-brainer to me.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Book of Mormon - (barrel of monkeys, not Book of Mormon)

Yah, I didn't do that on purpose. Oops!

The relief society has a couple of functions. First, it instructs women above the age of 18 every Sunday on various aspects the LDS church deems important for all its female members to know. The purposes used to be divided up into sections such as "spiritual living" or "homemaking". (I don't know if it is still organized that way or not.) So one lesson a month was about how to be closer to God in some way, another lesson might be about important females in past church history and what their lives can teach current members, another lesson might be about parenting and homemaking. During the week there is another meeting called "homemaking" which instructs women in particular skills related to being a mother. (or maybe it was once a month, I can't remember)

The relief society is also in charge of assigning every sister in the ward, active or no, a "visiting teacher" (it used to be partners of two, I'm not sure if it is still that way). These two visiting teachers had a roster of sisters they were responsible to contact every month to share a brief lesson about spiritual or social responsibility or some such, and to check up and make sure everything was ok with that sister. If she was sick, or recently had a baby, or something like that, it would be up to the visiting teachers to make sure meals were delivered to the family, that sort of thing.

The Relief society president is also responsible for alerting the bishop of the ward as to any problems or needs particular sisters may be having.

Hope that helps.

That does help. Really sounds like a great support system. I'm not certain how much I would like it. But I'm sure for lots of women it is pretty helpful.

[_beastie]

That does help. Really sounds like a great support system. I'm not certain how much I would like it. But I'm sure for lots of women it is pretty helpful.

In a way, it could be representative of benefits/problems with LDS membership in general. When a member is in need, the LDS church already has an intact support system that can kick in immediately. This is particularly evident in a disaster (like Katrina).

At the same time, there is a certain "formula", so to speak, of "how to be a Mormon woman" (or how to be a Mormon in general) that can chafe individuals who do not fit within that formula, and there is a possibility that the network intended to support can be used to control and abuse, as well.

Resigning from my position as "visiting teacher" (all active females are expected to be VT) was a deliberate act (encouraged by my nonLDS therapist, who obviously felt I should just find a healthier church in general, ie, one that was less demanding and controlling) of independence on my part. It was just too much. I had three kids under four, worked full time, did not have a helpful spouse, and I just could not handle being 'responsible' for other sisters, who lived spread over a big area. It's probably easier in Utah, where a ward's boundaries are often withing walking distance blocks, but back east, where I live, and there are few members, quite a bit of time and driving is required (as well as figuring out babysitting for the kids). My relief society president was shocked. It (refusing to be a VT) just "wasn't done".

Well, I did it, and I had to for my sanity.