Because I'm in the mood again - Parody

Post by **_dartagnan** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:13 am

Kerry: Awesome news gang! John Gee is going to speak at the FAIR conference and settle for once and for all, every criticism those vituperative critics have been moaning about. Rah Rah Gee, kick them in the knee!

Dale: Too bad Hauglid and Metcalfe stopped their debate in the pundits forum last year.

California Kid: They continued their correspondence privately and are now much closer together in their views than they were at the time. They've talked about publishing their correspondence.

Juliann: Call for references. Did Hauglid tell you that?

CK: No, but Brent did.

Juliann: Well, I can guarantee with 99.9% certainty you’re lying. Did Kevin Graham put you up to this?

Charity: You know Kevin lies about everything don’t you?

Kerry: I’m with Juliann here. I wasn’t aware they published a book together. And if Kevin said they did then it can’t be true.

California Kid: Huh? Kevin didn’t say that. I was just talking to him yesterday and…

Juliann: Call for references!

California Kid: Excuse me?

Juliann: You heard me. Were you really talking to Kevin or were you just emailing one another? Think hard before answering and remember your credibility is on the line.

California Kid: I was just saying Brian and Brent were still in touch. Brian left the pundits thread because of copyright issues. Or at least that is what the moderators said.

Juliann: Now you’re saying the moderators told you Brent and Brian go fishing together!

California Kid: No. Sigh, what I am saying is.

Juliann: Look, we don’t need to know what you’re saying. Whatever it is, I can guarantee you it is 99.9% false.

California Kid: I’m out of here.

Juliann: That’s what I thought. Another tattlemail bites the dust.

Kerry: I’m with Juliann on this one. That’s what I thought too.

Dale: You thought what?

Kerry: Whatever Juliann thought.

Dale: Which was?

Kerry: Hell if I know. Ask her.

Dan Vogel: Well, I know with 100% certainty that CK is correct.

Juliann: Oh? So you can confirm Brent and Brian go bowling with the moderators?

Dan Vogel: What?

Kerry: Howling laughter! Dan is backpedaling already!

Juliann: Look, you can’t just share unlikely stories and expect to get away with it. Not on this forum. Everyone knows Brent is a joke and no Hauglid would have anything to do with him. I’m, 99.99% sure of this.

Dan Vogel: Have you even spoken to Hauglid about this?

Juliann: No, that would require minimal effort.

Dan Vogel: But you insist CK is lying without verification.

Juliann: Any friend of Kevin Graham must be a liar. I heard Kevin cheated on his taxes and has several illegitimate children.

Kerry: I heard he runs over road kill just for kicks.

William Schryver: I heard he got his neighbor’s cat pregnant.

Dan Vogel: What?

Charity: Yea, I heard he then mutilated the offspring.

William Schryver: I heard he actually ate it.

Paul Osborne: That isn’t Kevin at all.

Juliann: Call for references!

Paul Osborne: What?

Juliann: You heard me. Your kind is not going to get away with lies over here. We can smell you and your lies from miles away.

Geezer: I find it very interesting that…

Juliann: Hey, who are you?

Geezer: I’m new here.

Juliann: Do you like Kevin Graham?

Geezer: He seems OK.

Mods: Geezer banned.

Sethbag: Wow that was pretty unfair.

Juliann: Hey! I made this forum and I designed it for people like me. I’m God here. If you don’t like it then you can just leave.

William Schryver: In my estimation what Juliann says is correct. In fact, I bear you my testimony in the name of Jesus Christ that Kevin Graham is the devil online.

Dan Vogel: Huh?

William Schryver. Yes. He actually used some kind of demonic power to confuse me into thinking a circle jerk was the safety key on a grenade.

Brent Metcalfe: Look, everything CK said is true. Verify it with Brian if you want. I might even post the emails which will make you all look foolish.

Juliann: Well if it isn’t the little scholar criticizer. How does it feel not to be a scholar?

Brent Metcalfe: Do you want to verify this with Brian?

Juliann: Don’t change the subject. You know you’ll never be an expert in anything right?

Brent Metcalfe: If Brian denies anything CK said, I’ll prove otherwise.

Juliann: Ha! Another tattlemailer. You must be a friend of Kevin Graham. That says all we need to know right there.

Post by **_moksha** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:11 am

Kevin, when the muse inspires you again can you include some of the other inhabitants of this board in with the cast from MAD? I

Post by **_Dan Vogel** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:00 pm

Very funny, Kevin!!! It's always good to keep a sense of humor about these things, especially when insanity seems the only other option.

Post by **_Blixa** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:27 pm

The phrase "call for references" now gives me extreme heebie jeebies...*shiver*

Post by **_Who Knows** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:27 pm

Lol. Although no parody was required for the laughs. How it actually played out was comical enough. :)

Post by **_Pokatator** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:38 pm

Darn it, Kevin

I have been banned from all contact with FAIR/MAD since Nov 5, 2006.
Praise the LORD, what an honor.

Now, you have made it seem like I have never left.

Post by **_KimberlyAnn** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:49 pm

Dartagnan, I enjoy your parodies. I don't spend much time reading on MAD, so I'm in agreement with Moksha, if you could include some folks from this board in your next parody it would be great.

By they way, when I first read this newest parody, I couldn't believe Juliann could be such an ass, so I went and read the thread on MAD, and Dartagnan, you've nailed her abrasive personality! It makes me glad I don't post over there.

KA

Post by **_dartagnan** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:31 pm

By they way, when I first read this newest parody, I couldn't believe Juliann could be such an ass, so I went and read the thread on MAD, and Dartagnan, you've nailed her abrasive personality! It makes me glad I don't post over there.

Thanks, these types of comments are really appreciated. Especially since Kerry and Juliann insist I lie and misrepresent everything.

Post by **_Sethbag** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:42 pm

ROFL. Way too funny Kevin! I haven't posted anything about this whole thing until just now, but I have to say the original thread which prompted this was pretty bizarre. You'd think that anyone in their right mind would backtrack and apologize when Brent showed up and confirmed that CK was right about what he said, but amazingly Juliann didn't. That right there boggles my mind. She first calls CK a liar, and when has CK ever acted in any way on that board than scholarly, polite, and level-headed? CK's only "crime", as far as I can tell, is to be very knowledgable about Book of Abraham issues and not to believe the Book of Abraham is somehow divine. But for Juliann not to apologize and give it up when Brent showed up, that was just plain freaky. I honestly don't get it.

Post by **_christopher** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:32 pm

Sorry, but no extended dialog of Juliann's is complete without an occasional "good grief" thrown in as well.

Chris <><