TBM gets into trouble at FAIR conference

[Guest]

Details can be found here at timesandseasons.org

From the post:

Every other year of my attendance (check your records, boys, I’m a regular registrant), the room has been set up with narrow tables in front of the audience chairs. Dozens of people bring their laptops (FAIR even provides wireless Internet access) and take notes or do other work while listening to the speakers. I was counting on doing the same this year — I’m really only ever interested in two or three of the speakers anyway, and because of a crush of work I expected to work quietly during presentations of lesser interest. It wouldn’t have bothered anybody — no one could have told whether I was taking copious notes of, say, John Gee’s talk, or outlining a lecture for next week’s workshop.

Only today there were no tables.

The friend whom I had accompanied — one of the sweetest women you could ever meet, wife of a senior Mormon scholar and frequent past presenter at FAIR — suggested that we remove four chairs from the end of a row and put up one of the narrow tables. So we did, being very careful not to extend into the aisle, and not in any way to infringe on fire exits. We did it quickly, and quietly, and 45 minutes before the conference was scheduled to begin, without having interfered with any speaker or blocked anyone’s line of sight while we did so. We were quickly joined by three men who also needed the help of a table, and were eyed enviously by a number of others who weren’t as bold as my friend.

But that little streak of independence could not, of course, be permitted in a conference which is so unlike every other Mormon studies conference I have ever attended. No, after a great deal of nervous fluttering by a woman member of the committee, who just couldn’t see her way clear to permitting such an act of defiance — not that anyone else was following our lead by putting up a single other table, and not that there weren’t many, many, many dozens of empty seats in the room when it came time to open the conference — she kept up her fluttering in our vicinity, and then fluttered by one member of the conference committee after another, until two big burly guys followed her to our corner and told us to go elsewhere.

Later, in a comment, John Lynch himself weighs in with all the charm we've come to expect:

How unfortunate that Ardis has chosen to characterize the events as she did. I would like to provide clarification on this matter.

FAIR volunteers were informed that a table had been removed from an area of the conference center controlled by South Town Expo and set up in an area designated for chairs. The format of the seating is agreed in advance with the Expo so as to be in compliance with fire codes, support attendance expectations, and accommodated those needing tables for computer usage. She was approached by volunteers and told we would be happy to move the table to the area in the back of the room designated for laptop users. She was similarly given the option of using her laptop from one of the chairs in the front. She stated that she would only move if forced to do so. Our staff requested that she comport herself as we expect all of our guests, and she chose to leave. If she requests, her money will be refunded.

FAIR does not discriminate in any way between supporters or critics, and all who are polite and civil are invited to attend our conferences. Accredited members of the press are invited to attend free of charge. Ardis’ abuse of our staff and insistence on preferential treatment is not condoned by FAIR and, like any other individual who behaves in such a manner, we will insist that she comply with staff instructions and avoid disrupting proceedings in order to attend.

John Lynch
FAIR Chairman

[_Polygamy Porter]

Details can be found here at timesandseasons.org

From the post:

Every other year of my attendance (check your records, boys, I’m a regular registrant), the room has been set up with narrow tables in front of the audience chairs. Dozens of people bring their laptops (FAIR even provides wireless Internet access) and take notes or do other work while listening to the speakers. I was counting on doing the same this year — I’m really only ever interested in two or three of the speakers anyway, and because of a crush of work I expected to work quietly during presentations of lesser interest. It wouldn’t have bothered anybody — no one could have told whether I was taking copious notes of, say, John Gee’s talk, or outlining a lecture for next week’s workshop.

Only today there were no tables.

The friend whom I had accompanied — one of the sweetest women you could ever meet, wife of a senior Mormon scholar and frequent past presenter at FAIR — suggested that we remove four chairs from the end of a row and put up one of the narrow tables. So we did, being very careful not to extend into the aisle, and not in any way to infringe on fire exits. We did it quickly, and quietly, and 45 minutes before the conference was scheduled to begin, without having interfered with any speaker or blocked anyone’s line of sight while we did so. We were quickly joined by three men who also needed the help of a table, and were eyed enviously by a number of others who weren’t as bold as my friend.

But that little streak of independence could not, of course, be permitted in a conference which is so unlike every other Mormon studies conference I have ever attended. No, after a great deal of nervous fluttering by a woman member of the committee, who just couldn’t see her way clear to permitting such an act of defiance — not that anyone else was following our lead by putting up a single other table, and not that there weren’t many, many, many dozens of empty seats in the room when it came time to open the conference — she kept up her fluttering in our vicinity, and then fluttered by one member of the conference committee after another, until two big burly guys followed her to our corner and told us to go elsewhere.

What? DCP did not introduce his friend?

[_Dr. Shades]

. . . many, many, many dozens of empty seats in the room when it came time to open the conference. . .

Is it rude of me to laugh at that observation?

[_Bond...James Bond]

Who was the nervous committee woman?

[_dartagnan]

But that little streak of independence could not, of course, be permitted in a conference which is so unlike every other Mormon studies conference I have ever attended. No, after a great deal of nervous fluttering by a woman member of the committee, who just couldn’t see her way clear to permitting such an act of defiance — not that anyone else was following our lead by putting up a single other table, and not that there weren’t many, many, many dozens of empty seats in the room when it came time to open the conference — she kept up her fluttering in our vicinity, and then fluttered by one member of the conference committee after another, until two big burly guys followed her to our corner and told us to go elsewhere.

As if there is any doubt who this probably was...

Way to go Juliann!

I just wonder who the two "burly" bodyguards were.

This is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

. . . many, many, many dozens of empty seats in the room when it came time to open the conference. . .

Is it rude of me to laugh at that observation?

Those are for the throng of converts that will be brought into the fold by DCP's closing address.


Seriously: Why do they invite so many empty chairs to these types of things?

[_dartagnan]

While reading the user comments below this blog, I found this and laughed for ten minutes-

Foundation of
Apologetic
Research and
Tables

[_dartagnan]

How unfortunate that Ardis has chosen to characterize the events as she did. I would like to provide clarification on this matter.

FAIR volunteers were informed that a table had been removed from an area of the conference center controlled by South Town Expo and set up in an area designated for chairs. The format of the seating is agreed in advance with the Expo so as to be in compliance with fire codes, support attendance expectations, and accommodated those needing tables for computer usage. She was approached by volunteers and told we would be happy to move the table to the area in the back of the room designated for laptop users. She was similarly given the option of using her laptop from one of the chairs in the front. She stated that she would only move if forced to do so. Our staff requested that she comport herself as we expect all of our guests, and she chose to leave. If she requests, her money will be refunded.

FAIR does not discriminate in any way between supporters or critics, and all who are polite and civil are invited to attend our conferences. Accredited members of the press are invited to attend free of charge. Ardis’ abuse of our staff and insistence on preferential treatment is not condoned by FAIR and, like any other individual who behaves in such a manner, we will insist that she comply with staff instructions and avoid disrupting proceedings in order to attend.

John Lynch
FAIR Chairman

John Lynch, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you are misinformed rather than willfully untruthful.

Where my account of this morning’s adventure was a playful caricature, recognized as such by all commenters (with one possible exception), your poisonous version takes my breath away.

Friends, the thread must now close, for obvious reasons. John Lynch, should you or one of your associates wish to have the last word, you may write to me at AEParshall at AOL dotcom and I will post your unedited response.

[UPDATE: I wrote to John Lynch using the address he left when he posted his comment; the address is evidently a false one, and my note repeating the invitation to have the last word bounced. It is possible that comment #27 is a hoax.]

Comment by Ardis Parshall — 8/2/2007 @ 3:36 pm

[_Dr. Shades]

But that little streak of independence could not, of course, be permitted in a conference which is so unlike every other Mormon studies conference I have ever attended. No, after a great deal of nervous fluttering by a woman member of the committee, who just couldn’t see her way clear to permitting such an act of defiance. . .

As if there is any doubt who this probably was...

Way to go Juliann!

You're right; there's no doubt who it was.

I had to laugh when someone evoked the image of Dolores Umbridge for the "nervously fluttering" woman. Dolores Umbridge = Juliann? Priceless!

[_Bond...James Bond]

Yeah the comments are classic on that blog....here are a few of my favorites:

I am impressed with your courageous act of civil disobedience–rearranging the chairs! We now have our FAIR Rosa Parks.

That’s funny, Ardis, but don’t try to mislead us proclaiming your orthodoxy. You’re obviously a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and the fine folks at FAIR just used their powers of discernment to see through your facade.

You should have refused to leave and forced them to carry you out. Then you could have gone limp and sung “We Shall Overcome”.

Did that fluttering committee member look anything like Dolores Umbridge? That is the picture I had pop immediately to mind is all…

Ardis, how does it feel, knowing that FAIR is forced to employ bouncers just because of people like you?

Now you’re probably going to apostacize, go to California and go to hell.

I guess they haven’t seen ‘ Men In Black ‘, where Will Smith moves the table and wins the job for think outside of the Box.