No Beastie, I don't think you're a sociopath and I strongly encourage anonymity. At the same time, I wouldn't blame some who uses their real name for any nasty things that befall him/her any more than I would blame the victim of a crime no matter how foolish that person was.
Yes, it is difficult to use rape as a comparison, but I'll go with it since that's what Bob suggested, and with your interpretation, I think I understand what he was trying to say.
So perhaps Bob was referring to the fact that I said it's irresponsible for someone with children to post using their own name. He thinks that is the equivalent of blaming a woman who jogs alone for being raped.
No, of course that isn't what I meant. There are two issues here - the crime (or act of nastiness) and personal responsibility to try and protect yourself and those around you.
If a woman jogs alone in an area known to be dangerous, and gets raped, it is not her fault she got raped. She did, however, behave irresponsibly, and that is her fault. The criminal is responsible for the rape. The woman is responsible for her irresponsible behavior.
If something happened to Bob or his family due to his posting with his real name, it would not be his fault. He has, however, behaved irresponsibly - in my opinion -by posting with his real name on the internet, and that is his fault.
These are two distinct issues.
Some people really cannot keep these two issues distinct. More commonly the scenario is a woman getting drunk in a bar in a bad part of town with strangers and ending up getting raped. The woman is not to blame for being raped, and the rapist alone is responsible for the act of rape. The woman is responsible for choosing to get drunk in a bad part of town with strangers.
Certain behaviors increase risk. It is responsible to take that into consideration. It is irresponsible to pretend that you shouldn't have to take these things under consideration. But that should not ever be twisted to imply that a victim is to blame for being victimized. It was the perpetrator's choice to take advantage of the victim's irresponsible behavior.