Scottie wrote:Yeah, Wade, that does clear it up a bit. Thanks.
In answer to your post, no, I don't think that emotion and logic can ever be completely separated.
Anybody that has been given marriage advice has heard the age old "Marriage isn't a 50/50 partnership, it's 100/100". This is great in logic, but in reality if you tried to practice it, one of you would end up getting walked all over. There is no practical way to reach a 100/100 agreement, even though we know the goal is to have a happy marriage.
For example, lets say your wife wanted to go out for the evening, but you wanted to stay in. Who should give in? In a 100/100 relationship, neither of you would be selfish. You would both want to give the other what they wanted, and neither of you would accept letting the other give in to you. So, at one point, one of you HAS to be selfish and allow the other person to give in. At this point, it is no longer a 100/100 relationship. One of you has been, by necessity, selfish. The emotions might say that you both want to give 100%, but the logic is that one of you has to give. In this case, the logic will bring you closer to your goal.
I used to see it that way also. However, I later learned that, paradoxically, there is giving in receiving and selflessness in thinking of oneself.
My nature has long been inclined towards giving and giving in, and up until the relationship previuosly mentioned, I had a terrible time receiving or taking from others. In time, though, I figured out that since I felt greatly blessed when giving, I may be denying that blessing to others by not receiving. So, by receiving, I enabled the giver to be blessed. I could give the gift of blessing by receiving.
At least that is how I was able to see that both parties in the relationship could give 100% even when one or the other party needed to "give in".
Besides, as is the point of this thread, too often our focus unwittingly shifts from the ultimate objective to the relatively meaningless details. In other words, our minds get wrapped up in where to go out for the evening, rather than on the ultimate purpose for going out. Were both parties to have in mind achieving happiness through spending quality time together with the other party, then deciding where to go out to isn't all that important, and it wouldn't matter who may "give in", because the ultimate goal can be achieved either way. No one is "getting walked on", but both win.
Does that make sense?
Thanks, -Wade Englund-