thestyleguy wrote:I will say this: I think to tell your son that you would rather see him come back in a coffin than come back from a mission after losing his virtue is abuse, pure and simple.
agreed. In talking with my father, who has now disassociated himself from Mormonism, im of the belief that returning from the scam salesman position I was in would have been the more virtuous position.
And crawling on the planet's face Some insects called the human race Lost in time And lost in space...and meaning
Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one's own genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure. It is done at least occasionally by a majority of both men and women.
In one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women reported having masturbated. It is the first overt sexual act for the majority of men and women, although more women than men engage in sexual intercourse before they ever masturbate.
A Common Sexual Behavior
Most men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women, and they are more likely to report always or usually experiencing orgasm when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively). It is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being first), even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most children—often from the time they are infants onward—find the occasional stimulation of their genitals sensually pleasing, but do not come to understand this behavior as "sexual" until late childhood or adolescence.
During adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report masturbating increases dramatically, especially for males. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.
No Physical or Mental Harm
The term masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging and debasing nature. Its negative images may be traced as far back as the word's Latin origin, masturbare, which is a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (defile), thus "to defile with the hand." The built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness implied by the defiling portion of the word has remained in the modern translation—even though medical authorities have been in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no physical or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that children who engage in self-stimulation are in any way harmed by it.
The fact that this important source of sexual pleasure is still regarded by some with guilt and anxiety is partly due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation is not harmful and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that it is sinful.
In addition, many of us have received negative messages about masturbation from our parents or have even been punished when caught masturbating as children. The cumulative effect of these influences is usually confusion and guilt that is often difficult to sort out. About the only time masturbation can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive. Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by a mental health specialist.
So, contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation does not lead to unbridled lust, does not make you blind or deaf, give you the flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on your hand, make you stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is a natural and harmless expression of sexuality in both men and women and a perfectly good way to experience sexual pleasure.
Masturbation May Improve Sexual Health
In fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual health by increasing an individual's understanding of his or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing, building self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance. This knowledge can then be carried forth to make for a more satisfying sexual relationship with one's partner, both through each partner's comfort with mutual masturbation, and because of the ability to tell each other what is most pleasing. It is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes about masturbation and to calm any insecurities a partner may have if the other should sometimes favor masturbation over sexual intercourse. In some relationships, masturbation may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual intimacy if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most behaviors, without proper communication, the act of masturbation can be used as a sign of anger, alienation or displeasure with the way the relationship is progressing.
Overcoming society's negative stereotypes and one's personal feelings about masturbation can allow men and women the freedom to explore and experience their own sexuality in a private, satisfying manner. One word of caution: in keeping with the practices of safer sex, masturbation with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse, as long as you avoid contact with your partner's semen or vaginal fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open sores.
barralomonkeys, I think I said I wasn't the one having all the answers. But maybe you are trying to make the question too difficult. Desire opens the window of the imagination to all sorts of possiblities. With somef effort some good possibillities can be found.
I think that even though real sexual expression is a positive thing it is the human relationships formed which are more real and both prior and subsquently. I hope teenagers are still noticing that.
I am reminded of a talk in conference a few years ago where the brethren told the members to not force little kids to fast because it just sours them on the beauty of the whole experience, and that if they wait until they are able to appreciate what they are doing, it will be a blessing to them.
In my mind, the same thing applies. How can you ask a 14 year old boy to be able to master himself? As if adolescence doesn't have enough trauma, the church has to throw in an impossible demand and then imply that breaking it is next to murder. Pretty weird.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
Scottie wrote:I am reminded of a talk in conference a few years ago where the brethren told the members to not force little kids to fast because it just sours them on the beauty of the whole experience, and that if they wait until they are able to appreciate what they are doing, it will be a blessing to them.
In my mind, the same thing applies. How can you ask a 14 year old boy to be able to master himself? As if adolescence doesn't have enough trauma, the church has to throw in an impossible demand and then imply that breaking it is next to murder. Pretty weird.
huckelberry wrote:barralomonkeys, I think I said I wasn't the one having all the answers. But maybe you are trying to make the question too difficult. Desire opens the window of the imagination to all sorts of possiblities. With some effort some good possibillities can be found.
I think that even though real sexual expression is a positive thing it is the human relationships formed which are more real and both prior and subsquently. I hope teenagers are still noticing that.
Am I making it difficult? I wasn't being a smart ass (well maybe a bit) when I asked you for a connection between long term goals and masturbation.
Seriously, from a LDS mindset, I'd like to know how they intersect. Long term goals relationship wise? Or what? I think even in a relationship masturbation is not damaging to the relationship... but I'm not LDS nor did I grow up LDS. So I just don't know how this is viewed.
Do you view desire that is created from masturbation as harmful to youth or otherwise? I just don't view it that way at all. Wondering what you meant precisely.
I was (sort of in a round about way) asking with sincerity.
In fact, it wasn't till a little while ago, that my wife and I admitted to each other that we had masturbated. It was too 'taboo' of a subject until we opened our eyes.
Admit it, when your wife admitted it to you, you probably thought it was pretty hot, didn't you?
Lol.
A little while ago, I had to go out of the country on a business trip for a couple of weeks. So I bought 2 webcams, so that we could communicate while I was gone, I could see the kids, the kids could see me, etc. Well, you get the picture. I don't need to go any further...
Barralomonkeys, I guess I was being too brief to be clear. I could try again, but I should point out I hardly represent the LDS view. I would agree with Scotties comments above.
I think masturbation is intitailly a natural aspect of the awakening of sexual awarness that our biological sytems instinctively put into motion in our teenage years. In terms of long terms goals I was picturing in my mind young boys with few cares in the world, enjoying games fishing throwing rocks etc being struck by their instincts. Opps there is more to life. What to make of that?
It is clear that our instincts are telling us valuable direction yet they do not tell us very much about what do do with them or how to go about making it come true. Our instincts say find a way to have sex and propogate the species. But we are human and for humans that is part of complicated responsiblities and human relationships. We do not have the knowledge necessary for all that naturally we need time to learn it.
I do not think simple formulaes can make a good prescription for how each young person should handle this. I doubt it makes much sense for older people to try. As result I thought it might be necessary to point out the intstincts are natural and not evil. I suspect some experience can help people have a positive view of sexuality. As far as I can see masturbation is a much safer and more appropriate experiment for young people than casual sex. or much worse professional sex.
On the other hand people need time to learn other things as well. How to be friends with the opposite sex. How respect and friendship can go together. How the romantic feels humans have can fit into this. How we have longterm responsibiliies in how we live our life which are connected with this. (such as figure out way to make living,make preperations to be able to do that) As a resuld teenagers are stuck having to learn some self control. I was just suspecting that it might be best for older people to speak of general principals of that without telling teenagers how they have to do the details.
Zoidberg wrote:Speaking of suicide over masturbation, everyone here's heard of Kip Eliason, right?
I hadn't. I have now.
This subject is anything but 'frivilous' it would seem... :/
I used to think he was an extreme case of an extra-impressionable youth, but now that two people have admitted to wanting to castrate themselves, I'm not so sure anymore.
"reason and religion are friends and allies" - Mitt Romney