PP is Right! I'm a Jack Mormon!

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:51 pm

I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

_Belial · Post by **_Belial** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:01 pm

barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

Ahhh, but you failed to sleep through conference.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:59 pm

barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

Me neither....of course I'm not giving anyone 10% of my anything....so I guess we're at an impasse.

(Monkeys I could help you with some of those things you're NOT doing....;)

Post by **_Gazelam** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:37 pm

barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

When should we schedule you for a vist from the missionaries?

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 2:58 am

Gazelam wrote:
barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

When should we schedule you for a vist from the missionaries?

Weeeeeelllll........... you know I've gone to my local ward a few times....................... oh my! Would that just throw the world totally out of whack if I became LDS?

Post by **_Gazelam** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:38 am

What day next week are you free? Just let me know the time and we'll get them over to you.

They'll love that you've already read the Book of Mormon.

Better yet, you could meet them over at your nephews, or whatever that lad was of yours that joined the church.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:45 am

barrelomonkeys wrote:
Gazelam wrote:
barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

When should we schedule you for a vist from the missionaries?

Weeeeeelllll........... you know I've gone to my local ward a few times....................... oh my! Would that just throw the world totally out of whack if I became LDS?

Someone get the Twilight Zone music on standby just in case....

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:58 am

barrelomonkeys wrote:
Gazelam wrote:
barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

When should we schedule you for a vist from the missionaries?

Weeeeeelllll........... you know I've gone to my local ward a few times....................... oh my! Would that just throw the world totally out of whack if I became LDS?

Given your current personal situation, you are a prime target for LDS Inc high pressure salesmen.

They teach the boys to look for people who are down on their luck. Vulnerable people they say are easy to "introduce" to the wonderful world of Mormonism.

If you did join, I would laugh AT you.

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:00 am

Gazelam wrote:What day next week are you free? Just let me know the time and we'll get them over to you.

They'll love that you've already read the Book of Mormon.

Better yet, you could meet them over at your nephews, or whatever that lad was of yours that joined the church.

It's my step-son that is in the Church Gaz. He lives on the other side of the country.

See, if they came to my house I'd have to talk to them about religious matters. I actually did try a few times to talk to a missionary online through the chat feature and had no success. In person I get a bit spooked by it. I'm not sure why this is but I feel intensely uncomfortable talking about religious matters in real life settings.

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:02 am

Polygamy Porter wrote:
barrelomonkeys wrote:
Gazelam wrote:
barrelomonkeys wrote:I think I should be made an honorary Mormon. I don't drink, have sex, smoke (well as soon as I quit (WORKING ON IT) we can add that to the list), go bar hopping, watch Sex and the City, etc...

When should we schedule you for a vist from the missionaries?

Weeeeeelllll........... you know I've gone to my local ward a few times....................... oh my! Would that just throw the world totally out of whack if I became LDS?
Given your current personal situation, you are a prime target for LDS Inc high pressure salesmen.

They teach the boys to look for people who are down on their luck. Vulnerable people they say are easy to "introduce" to the wonderful world of Mormonism.

If you did join, I would laugh AT you.

Well you laugh at me anyway Porter. What would be new?