I think often we assume that when women enter these relationships that the man is the only one gaining sexual/intimate satisfaction from the relationship. That's just not alway accurate.
Why would a woman enter a relationship like that if she wasn't going to get sexual/intimate satisfaction from it?
Well women do it all the time. Think of harems or polygamous relationships mm. There is almost no intimacy in these relationships and the sex is pretty spread out - waiting yer turn. ;)
Also it's fairly common for young women to seek validation (worth) from older males in exchange for sex. Monica Lewinsky - Bill Clinton?!
What do the women gain from pleasuring men that they view as superior? Worth of some sort? Attention that they desire? Something? Whatever they're looking for in exchange for their sexuality.
Well women do it all the time. Think of harems or polygamous relationships mm. There is almost no intimacy in these relationships and the sex is pretty spread out - waiting yer turn. ;)
If they're doing it because they feel like they have no choice, then yes, of course they're being used. But when they have a choice and there is no underlying psychological reason for them thinking they have to do this, they should jolly well be in for a good time! You're only being used if you really don't want to be doing it, or if someone is taking advantage of you. When it's a mutual taking advantage of, I don't see any victims.
Well women do it all the time. Think of harems or polygamous relationships mm. There is almost no intimacy in these relationships and the sex is pretty spread out - waiting yer turn. ;)
If they're doing it because they feel like they have no choice, then yes, of course they're being used. But when they have a choice and there is no underlying psychological reason for them thinking they have to do this, they should jolly well be in for a good time! You're only being used if you really don't want to be doing it, or if someone is taking advantage of you. When it's a mutual taking advantage of, I don't see any victims.
Well what would be the psychological reason that a woman would choose to share a man with another woman? Do you think your lover's wife is having a jolly good time? ;)
Seriously, when a man has more than one woman then there will be a few (or the primary) that gets the 'short end of the stick'. No?
Well what would be the psychological reason that a woman would choose to share a man with another woman?
What I meant by pyschological reason was if a woman was vulnerable in any way eg low self esteem. Grabbing onto whatever she can to try and feel better about herself.
Do you think your lover's wife is having a jolly good time? ;)
I thought this was about the people getting laid, not the ones who aren't! ;) She's being used in this situation, because she doesn't know, but I'm not.
Seriously, when a man has more than one woman then there will be a few (or the primary) that gets the 'short end of the stick'. No?
You're assuming they weren't already getting the short end of the stick! In the case of those who know what the deal is, that is their choice. Maybe half a stick is ok by them?
Well what would be the psychological reason that a woman would choose to share a man with another woman?
What I meant by pyschological reason was if a woman was vulnerable in any way eg low self esteem. Grabbing onto whatever she can to try and feel better about herself.
Do you think your lover's wife is having a jolly good time? ;)
I thought this was about the people getting laid, not the ones who aren't! ;) She's being used in this situation, because she doesn't know, but I'm not.
Seriously, when a man has more than one woman then there will be a few (or the primary) that gets the 'short end of the stick'. No?
You're assuming they weren't already getting the short end of the stick! In the case of those who know what the deal is, that is their choice. Maybe half a stick is ok by them?
Well you said that women that entered these relationships did so for sexual gratification and intimacy. I'm pointing out to you that if there is more than one woman there will be SOMEONE getting the 'short end of the stick'. That's just the way these things go. In Joseph Smith's case there were many women and I tthink it would be fair to state that they all didn't have the sort of relationship that you have with your lover. So I was asking what their motivations were and whether it was appropriate to view them as victims?
Obviously 'half a stick' is okay by some of them. I don't see much sexual satisfaction coming from sharing a man with a harem of other women. So my question, again, is why do they enter these relationships (those that were not coerced) and can we consider them victims or being used?
Well you said that women that entered these relationships did so for sexual gratification and intimacy. I'm pointing out to you that if there is more than one woman there will be SOMEONE getting the 'short end of the stick'. That's just the way these things go. In Joseph Smith's case there were many women and I tthink it would be fair to state that they all didn't have the sort of relationship that you have with your lover. So I was asking what their motivations were and whether it was appropriate to view them as victims?
Obviously 'half a stick' is okay by some of them. I don't see much sexual satisfaction coming from sharing a man with a harem of other women. So my question, again, is why do they enter these relationships (those that were not coerced) and can we consider them victims or being used?
In the case of Joseph Smith's women, I absolutely think they were victims and they were coerced. They believed that what they were doing was in God's name and God wanted them to do it. I watched a doco on Mormons recently and some of the women who practise polygamy today spoke about it. They clearly did not enjoy having to share their husband but they did it because they believed it was the right thing to do. Their choice has been taken away from them, even though on the surface, they do it willingly. Victims, for sure.
I meant that woman who have affairs enter into them for sexual gratification and intimacy.
Well you said that women that entered these relationships did so for sexual gratification and intimacy. I'm pointing out to you that if there is more than one woman there will be SOMEONE getting the 'short end of the stick'. That's just the way these things go. In Joseph Smith's case there were many women and I tthink it would be fair to state that they all didn't have the sort of relationship that you have with your lover. So I was asking what their motivations were and whether it was appropriate to view them as victims?
Obviously 'half a stick' is okay by some of them. I don't see much sexual satisfaction coming from sharing a man with a harem of other women. So my question, again, is why do they enter these relationships (those that were not coerced) and can we consider them victims or being used?
In the case of Joseph Smith's women, I absolutely think they were victims and they were coerced. They believed that what they were doing was in God's name and God wanted them to do it. I watched a doco on Mormons recently and some of the women who practise polygamy today spoke about it. They clearly did not enjoy having to share their husband but they did it because they believed it was the right thing to do. Their choice has been taken away from them, even though on the surface, they do it willingly. Victims, for sure.
I meant that woman who have affairs enter into them for sexual gratification and intimacy.
Well I agree that there is a clear distinction between having an affair vs. being in a polygamous relationship. But even then were these women victims of the men (after Joseph Smith?!) or the religious culture? Both?
What of the women that sleep with rock stars? Being star struck and wanting to have a fling with one. Are they victims too? Used in anyway? There were some LDS women (as far as I know!?) that wanted to be with Joseph Smith because of the 'star struck' dynamic.
SatanWasSetUp wrote:After all, those chosen to be a polygamous wife with Joseph were pretty much guaranteed Goddess status in the afterlife. Imagine being star struck by Joseph, maybe he even flirted with you a couple times, then find out he picked some other girl and not you. That would totally suck, especially if the other girl isn't all that.
There's an obvious weakness in this argument. When did Joseph ever pick just one and not also the other?
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
With that view towards women, do you think he would abuse them?
Women he was sealed to will either exalt or condemn his soul depending on whether or not they can attribute the gospel of salvation to him. When my wife is questioned on my judgement day as to what my character is, it will be a very important part of the process. For each woman Joseph was sealed to , this is multiplied.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato