Missionaries at German University campuses

[_gramps]

Hi everyone!

I teach at a couple of German universities in the law, business, psychology, and general humanities areas.

The new semester has started and, as is always the case, my students like to know where I come from. So, I tell them. This leads invariably to questions concerning Salt Lake City and Utah, in particular. Guess what is the first idea that comes to their minds when I mention that I am from Marlboro country, i.e. Utah (and other states to be sure)?

That's right! Mormons. And then, the question which arises immediately is: "Aren't the Mormons the ones with lots of wives?"

So, we usually have a fun, short discussion about the Mormons. I tell them about the fact that I come from the fifth wife of my great, great grandfather (is that the reason no one from my family ever made it to the top echelons of the church?); that one of my ancestors brought home three young women from England after his three-year stint there, that immediately upon arriving in Salt Lake City he brought them to Brigham to marry all of them and then went home to greet the other wives; that the parents of these young girls were a tad bit surprised when they arrived in Salt Lake City later and the young girls had been married to my ancestor. He had told the parents that he was sure he could find them a good husband (insert a winking smiley here!).

We talk about a few other peculiarities concerning the Mormon church: for example, no coffee, no tea (but coca-cola is OK), no alcohol (in Bavaria, weiss bier is considered a staple food and is often partaken of before 12:oo p.m.), 10% to the church, no sex before marriage (even with yourself!), etc. The idea of "black sheep" comes through the Germanic language into English (I believe?), so they quickly understand my position in relation to much of my family.

We also talk a bit about the missionaries and their work here in Germany (which must be tough!). I tell them to "look out" for them, that they hang out around the campus, specifically, bus stops and so on. I tell them to stop and have a fun discussion with them, to invite them for a coffee or a beer in the bier stuebe, to ask them why they are called Mormons, etc. Everyone has a good first week releasing-the-stress laugh and then we get down to the work at hand.

Well, the second week just finished and last night, two of my students brought to class a handout from the local missionaries when they bumped into each other at the bus stop (surprise!).

I don't have a scanner, but I can quickly give you a picture of how the missionaries are going about their service here in Germany. Put two business cards together and that is about the size of this "flyer." On the front are two little youngsters sitting in a park and one is holding a flower. It is cute. Below the picture, are two lines of text:

The first reads: Haben auch Sie Fragen? (Do you, too, have questions?)

The second reads: Finden Sie die Antworten! ( Find the answers for yourself!)

And then under that one finds the Church logo, in German, of course.

O.K. All good so far. But, on the back are the specific questions they can answer, I assume. I imagine some will get a good laugh, some of you may be (or ought to be) embarrassed that a church with enough money and assets comparable to top Fortune 500 companies, came up with this marketing scheme, but here goes nothing. Enjoy!

Question One: Wer hat die Blumen gemacht? (Who made the flowers?)

Question Two: Warum ist das Gras gruen? (Why is the grass green?)

Question Three: Gibt es einen Gott, der alles erschaffen hat? (Is there a God who created everything?)

Question Four: Warum sollte ich anderen helfen? (Why should I help others?)

Question Five: Was bedeutet mir meine Familie? (What meaning does my family have for me?)

Question Six: Kann ich mit meiner Familie fuer immer zusammen sein? (Can I be with my family forever?)

Question Seven: Was ist der Sinn des Lebens? (What is the meaning of life?)

Question Eight: Gibt es ein Leben nach Democrat Tod? (Is there life after death?)

At the bottom, it reads: Es gibt tausende Fragen. Die Kirche Jesu Christi der Heiligen der Letzen Tage kann Ihnen helfen, Antworten fuer Ihr Leben zu finden. (There are thousands of questions. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints can help you to find the answers for your life.)

And then below that, two websites: www.Mormon.de and www.mormonen.at. (So much for trying to rid themselves of the pesky moniker, the Mormons, huh?)

And then the local church address.

Well, good job guys. Nice marketing plan you have going there, I must say! My university here is famous for its physics programs, engineering programs, transport economics programs, etc. The Max Plank Institute is here on campus, as well.

How do you feel this would go over with a physics student? specifically, the first two questions? I can imagine that the physics students could give the missionaries a few lessons on why the grass is green. I believe a lot of other students would have a real laugh with that question (Answer: because it is not Columbian Gold, Mexican brown, Thai Chocolate Brown, etc.? LOL)

I think they have their work cut out for themselves.

What think ye?

(P.S. I, as the OPer, have no problem wherever this thread goes from here. No restraints, no qualms about keeping on topic, etc.)

**Edited twice for spelling errors.

[_Ren]

Question Two: Warum ist das Gras gruen? (Why is the grass green?)

So the latest missionary tactic is educating people about chlorophyll?!
Man - they do have all the answers...!

[_gramps]

Question Two: Warum ist das Gras gruen? (Why is the grass green?)

So the latest missionary tactic is educating people about chlorophyll?!

Man - they do have all the answers...!

Yeah, sure. These pimply young ones from Washington state (the other one we're not sure because he never said anything) LOL know all about that stuff, right. What on earth could be there answer to that question?

Any Mormons here want to take a stab at it? How would you answer that specific question? And do they learn this stuff in the Missionary Training Center?

[_barrelomonkeys]

Oh man! Why the Church sends these kids out is just a marvel to me. Why!? Poor, poor missionaries. Did your students talk to them gramps or just take the flyer?

I do wonder what answers the missionaries would provide those questions?

[_gramps]

Oh man! Why the Church sends these kids out is just a marvel to me. Why!? Poor, poor missionaries. Did your students talk to them gramps or just take the flyer?

I do wonder what answers the missionaries would provide those questions?

yeah, my students talked with them and thought they were quite naïve.

Well, they aren't sure about one of them because he never spoke. Must have been a greenie still unsure about the German language, I'm guessing. But, yeah, they found out where he was from and told them that their teacher was and ex-mormon from Salt Lake City. They said if they had any questions they would ask me in class.

LOL

[_barrelomonkeys]

yeah, my students talked with them and thought they were quite naïve.

Well, they aren't sure about one of them because he never spoke. Must have been a greenie still unsure about the German language, I'm guessing. But, yeah, they found out where he was from and told them that their teacher was and ex-mormon from Salt Lake City. They said if they had any questions they would ask me in class.

LOL

Haha! Too funny! I bet your students think that LDS is some odd American phenomenon, no?

Are there many German LDS?

[_gramps]

yeah, my students talked with them and thought they were quite naïve.

Well, they aren't sure about one of them because he never spoke. Must have been a greenie still unsure about the German language, I'm guessing. But, yeah, they found out where he was from and told them that their teacher was and ex-mormon from Salt Lake City. They said if they had any questions they would ask me in class.

LOL

Haha! Too funny! I bet your students think that LDS is some odd American phenomenon, no?

Are there many German LDS?

Someone else on this board can probably answer that question better than me. I have been to the ward here twice. Once, my girlfriend wanted to see a Mormon service. We went on a Fast Sunday and stayed for a baptism after (a member's son).

There weren't many people in the chapel. We spoke to the missionaries and to the Bishop. My girlfriend said later that the Bishop gave off "Stazi" vibes. She is right. Wow, glad that guy is not my bishop, for sure.

The other time we dropped in to see a Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit that was a kind of traveling roadshow throughout Europe. That was hilarious. I was told Dan Peterson and FARMS had something to do with that joke of an exhibit, but I am not sure on that.

Edited to add: We met the Bishop one more time, when he came with his son to deal with my resignation letter, which he handled quite proficiently. When I told him we had already met, twice, he looked strangely at me. He couldn't remember us. He was very nervous in our home. Lots of fun for us, though!

[_Roger Morrison]

Gramps, "thanks for sharing." So sadly sad. What must be the mental/emotional state of these young Missonaries? How dummied-down is this institution becoming? Are they really looking for the mentally challenged? Maybe not a bad thing. They too need a place. Anyway...Warm regards, Roger

[_gramps]

Gramps, "thanks for sharing." So sadly sad. What must be the mental/emotional state of these young Missonaries? How dummied-down is this institution becoming? Are they really looking for the mentally challenged? Maybe not a bad thing. They too need a place. Anyway...Warm regards, Roger

Hi Roger! Thanks for jumping on this thread. I do appreciate it.

My girlfriend is in Munich now, so we have to communicate by phone. I shared this flyer with her this morning. She started cracking up, basically saying the same thing you said.

"Well, Tim, you know, that the only people they can get are the less than brilliant ones (the church calls them the "humble" ones). Why on earth would they be on a college campus is beyond me."

Yeah, you both hit the nail on the head. Who else can they get these days? But, true, everyone needs a home.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Gramps, tracting in Germany must put missionaries into contact with folks too smart to fall for their line of B.S., so they've had to try a new scheme. I have to wonder if the missionaries are essentially pre-qualifying potential converts. I mean, really, the only people who would bother responding to a marketing scheme so dumb are the only folks gullible enough to join up with the Mormons!

Thanks for the laugh!

KA