Sethbag wrote:The church could pay me 10% tithing and send the bishop to hold sacrament meeting with me on a golf course every Sunday where we chatted about the Gospel between holes...
Where do you sign up for THAT Church?
;)
Let me tell you about my new religion...AMWAY!!!
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
Scottie wrote:Let me tell you about my new religion...AMWAY!!!
Here we have another guy begging to be banned from a message board!
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
Sethbag wrote:Charity: good parody, and I appreciate the humor, but seriously no, this would make no difference in my decisions with respect to the church. Because it's not about having difficulty doing all that the church requires. It's whether the church is true or not. The church could pay me 10% tithing and send the bishop to hold sacrament meeting with me on a golf course every Sunday where we chatted about the Gospel between holes, and yet ultimately it would still not be true.
Exactly. What people like charity don't understand, is that most of us exmos don't have a problem with paying 10%, going to church on sunday, fulfilling our callings, etc. - AS LONG AS THE CHURCH IS 'TRUE'.
WK: "Joseph Smith asserted that the Book of Mormon peoples were the original inhabitants of the americas"
Will Schryver: "No, he didn’t." 3/19/08
Still waiting for Will to back this up...
It would have to include shapely women in skimpy bikinis passing the sacrament and preztels and beer for the sacrament instead of bread and water; then I'd consider it.
If heckling of speakers or teachers were allowed (BORRRRING, BORRRING), that'd be the deal clincher for me
God . . . "who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, . . . and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him ..."
I think this post underscores just how little charity and the other imps understand on why one leaves Mormonism. Once again the topic of her average-level parody ("doucharity" is no Runtu) focuses on the hamster wheel aspect of Mormonism in which the tools who believe that piety and worthless ceremony equates to goodness foolishly laugh at those who give the finger to the lot.
Doucharity strikes again.
And crawling on the planet's face Some insects called the human race Lost in time And lost in space...and meaning
guy sajer wrote:It would have to include shapely women in skimpy bikinis passing the sacrament and preztels and beer for the sacrament instead of bread and water; then I'd consider it.
If heckling of speakers or teachers were allowed (BORRRRING, BORRRING), that'd be the deal clincher for me
Ya know what testimony meeting needs? A "Wrap it up box" for boring-ass testimonies, especially the asshats that get up and start spouting about their new boat or wintering in Aspen (OK, that was my family...i admit it).
What stikes me as ironic, is that the majority of former believers I know, were the ones who were doing everything they could and then some.
As has been stated, people do not leave the church because they don't like the meetings, want to sin, get offended, don't want a calling, or don't like the Bishop.
They release belief because it doesn't make sense, feel right, or seem true.
Simple as that.
~dancer~
"The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it destroys the world in which you live." Nisargadatta Maharaj