For Mormons and Exmormons: Object Lessons in Church

[_Doctor Steuss]

[...]
That stake president would have sacrificed my son as an easy fix to throw a scare into the rest of the youth of the stake. [...]

Such an action would have only scared others into being too afraid to "confess" their sins should they commit them. It was over two years after my cupcake was licked before I talked to my bishop about it (and to a very large degree, the only reason I finally did was because of who the new bishop was… i.e. a compassionate, caring, wise man).

[_harmony]

[...]
That stake president would have sacrificed my son as an easy fix to throw a scare into the rest of the youth of the stake. [...]

Such an action would have only scared others into being too afraid to "confess" their sins should they commit them. It was over two years after my cupcake was licked before I talked to my bishop about it (and to a very large degree, the only reason I finally did was because of who the new bishop was… I.e. a compassionate, caring, wise man).

That's what my bishop kept trying to tell the SP: it would backfire and youth wouldn't approach their bishops, if they thought they'd get ex'ed for it. It certainly wouldn't have stopped the youth from being sexually active. It would simply have created a lot of misery for a lot of families. (That SP reminds me a lot of Crock and/or SP Dot).

[_KimberlyAnn]

[...]
That stake president would have sacrificed my son as an easy fix to throw a scare into the rest of the youth of the stake. [...]

Such an action would have only scared others into being too afraid to "confess" their sins should they commit them. It was over two years after my cupcake was licked before I talked to my bishop about it (and to a very large degree, the only reason I finally did was because of who the new bishop was… I.e. a compassionate, caring, wise man).

I've posted about unresolved guilt before, Dr. Steuss.

Because Mormons feel they should confess sin to a Bishop, then I'm sure they carry around a lot of unresolved guilt if they're afraid or embarrassed to talk to their Bishops. Having a particularly harsh Bishop makes matters worse, I know. I had a very harsh Bishop as a teenage girl and I'd have been terrified to confess anything to him, especially after I confessed to French kissing (after he told us to at a Standards Night presentation) and he punished me by disallowing me to do baptisms for the dead on the youth temple trip. I'd rather have wallowed in guilt and misery than face him again! It's funny, I felt dirtier after confessing to French kissing than I ever did while I was doing it, lol! I didn't even know it was such a vile sin.

Also, I've wondered exactly when some people expect to be told the person they're dating isn't a virgin? I mean, if folks are dirty after they're "used", like the cupcake analogy, chewed gum analogy, etc, teaches, then when exactly are people to make that known? Third date? Before the first kiss? When? It's obvious from the MAD thread that some Mormons still see "licked cupcakes" as undesirable, so should that be made known before even the first date? Would going ahead and stitching a scarlet letter "A" on the chest be the most appropriate thing to do? I honestly wondered about that question as a girl, and I wonder about how Mormons should go about it now? They should answer that question after those analogies. Maybe being asked that would give the teacher a clue that the lesson is morally bankrupt.

Just for the record, I married a convert and I have never, to this day, asked if he was a virgin before we married. I didn't care.

KA

[_harmony]

It's funny, I felt dirtier after confessing to French kissing than I ever did while I was doing it, lol! I didn't even know it was such a vile sin.

See? That's what happens when men get their dirty little fingers into anything. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH FRENCH KISSING! I wonder if I said that loud enough? Let me say it again, a little differently: THERE IS NO DOCTRINAL PROHIBITION AGAINST FRENCH KISSING! IT IS NOT A SIN!

Your bishop needs his head handed to him in a basket.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

I vote for some sort of scarlet letter, like maybe they can make a ICTW ring, I chose the wrong, and make them wear it. I'll see how that flies. Meanwhile, Steuss, thanks for the PM offer, but no thanks, man, that's a little too far out for me.

[_Dr. Shades]

I am soooo glad that I have made a vow to stay a virgin until I get married in the temple.

Well, Trinity? Don't keep us in suspense. . . did you keep that vow?

I've used the Ding Dong lesson in many a youth training, to get the youth to understand the ramifications of early sexual activity.

Oh, there were plenty of young women I would've liked to give the ding dong lesson to . . .

[_Doctor Steuss]

[...]
Just for the record, I married a convert and I have never, to this day, asked if he was a virgin before we married. I didn't care.

KA

My mom once told me regarding relationships (not a direct quote):

“You should always assume you are the first person they have ever dated, and you should help them to feel as if they are the first person you have ever dated as well (i.e. always try to avoid talking about “ex’s”).”

She also has said (although this one might not necessarily fit):

"If you are looking for someone who is perfect, the only think you will find is a fantasy.”

[_Doctor Steuss]

[...]
Meanwhile, Steuss, thanks for the PM offer, but no thanks, man, that's a little too far out for me.

*Sounds of heart breaking*

[_Zoidberg]

I've always been under the impression that bishops/SPs are supposed to keep confessions private. Shouldn't they be disciplined for making them public knowledge?

[_harmony]

I've always been under the impression that bishops/SPs are supposed to keep confessions private. Shouldn't they be disciplined for making them public knowledge?

And who is going to discipline them? Men, higher up on the food chain? Yeah, right. It's much more likely to be *wink, wink* than them getting their hands slapped.