The Shortest Mormon Books Of All Time

[_Infymus]

Here is a compilation of the shortest Mormon books ever published:

* Contemporary Evidence for the First Vision
* The Joy of Sex, by Boyd K. Packer
* Accepting Your Gay Child, by Spencer W. Kimball
* Fundamentals of Science, by Joseph Fielding Smith
* Promoting Racial Harmony, by Brigham Young
* True Stories from the Life of Paul Dunn
* The Questioning Mind, by Thomas Monson
* What I Don't Know, by Bruce R. McConkie
* Hot Monogamy, by Joseph Smith
* Straight Answers from President Hinckley
* Dabbling in the Flesh Trade or How I Pimped My Daughter by Heber C. Kimball
* The Passion Party Planner - By Sheri Dew
* The Wit and Wisdom of Karl Marx - by Ezra Taft Benson
* The Miracle Diet by Thomas Monson
* How about DNA Proof of the Book of Mormon by Daniel Peterson
* Short Sensible Sermons, Second Scroll by Neal A. Maxwell
* How 'bout "The Osmonds' Contributions to Pop Music"?
* An Ancient American Setting for Krispy Kreme Donuts: Glazed or Sprinkled? by Daniel C. Peterson, with a forward by Thomas S. Monson
* "Where your tithing money goes" by Bishop Burton
* Men who know my history - by Joseph Smith
* The Sensitive Man's Guide to Romance - by Brigham Young
* "Catholic Truths" - by Bruce R. McConkie.
* "Logic" - by Martin Harris
* Fair Play at LDS Pinewood Derbys by Bishop Wilford Harke
* "Apologetics Without Condescension", by DCP and Juliann
* Brokeback Mountain - The Sequel Boyd "Bottomguy" Packer
* 'Family Value's, In-Room Movie Guide' by J.W. Marriott,
* Where I'd Be if My Name Were Schwartz" by Joseph Fielding McConkie
* "How the truest church is like a stone rolling over the earth" by Vaughn J. Featherstone
* "All the Latter-day Saint Truth at Wikipedia"
* Stand For Something by Gordon B. Hinckley.
* "The doctrine behind polygamy" by ANY GA
* "Traditional Folk Music for Sacrament Meeting" by Janice Kapp Perry
* "The Power of Discernment" by Mark Hofmann
* Shoot off Your Mouth, Mick Jagger's Conversion Story by Elder Gene R. Cook
* "Women's Rights" by Heber C. Kimball
* 'How to Increase Factory Production' by Boyd K. Packer
* Swords, Breastplates, and Helmets: Pictures of Actual Weapons of War Hill from Cumorah Ancient History Museum
* "The Virtue of the Unpaid Ministry; or Why Clergy Should Avoid the Evils of Commerce and Finance" by Joseph F. Smith
* "Global Economics" by James E. Faust
* 'Extra Innings, True Baseball Stories" by Paul H. Dunn
* 'My Glory Days, True Stories of WWII', by Paul H. Dunn
* "Yes, We Teach That" by Gordon B. Hinckley
* coffee table book--pictures of vault items
* "The Single Travelers' Motel Guide" published by the Westland, MI Stake Press
* First Vision Truth (version 6,714)
* "Using Your Family Buisiness to Spread the Gospel by Example" by the Marriot Family
* "Keeping the Sabaath Day Holy" by Steve Young
* Forgiven at Last: How I Found Bigfoot by Spencer W. Kimball
* "I Heart Hoffmann" by Kimball & Hinckley
* "Tapir riding and other ancient American activities" By Daniel C. Peterson
* "Encouraging Free Speech on College Campuses" by Ernest L. Wilkinson
* "Art Appreciation: Rodin Sculpture" by Merrill J. Bateman
* "Mormon Intermarriage", by Mark E. Petersen
* "Let Every Negro Drive a Cadillac if They Could Afford it" by Mark E. Petersen
* Ferrous Metal Content of Ancient Central American Swords
* Darkies are Wonderful People - By Joseph Fielding Smith
* How to Comfort a Rape Victim - by Spencer W. Kimball
* All the Mormon Temple Secrets you the Uber-Mormon can reveal to your non-Mormon Friends" By Elder Bednar
* What the Missionaries Told me about the Curse of Cain - by Glady Knight
* "How to Drive Your Husband WILD!!!" - by Sister Bednar
* How The Lamanites Are Now Not The Lamanites - By LDS Inc.

Oh the list could go on... And on...

[_Runtu]

Not to brag or anything, but the first 10 are mine. :)

[_David A. Bednar]

Dear Infymous,

I know you think you are being cute and all.

And, I must admit, some of those books I would like to read.

But, my wife and I do have wild sex, but only wild Godhood-like sex, the kind Gazelam has with his wife. We don't participate in the other kind of wild sex which the Jamaicans seem to excel at.

Here's another book to add to the list: Other than air, what is in Infymous' head? by Orson Pratt

[_barrelomonkeys]

Here is a compilation of the shortest Mormon books ever published:

* Fundamentals of Science, by Joseph Fielding Smith
* Promoting Racial Harmony, by Brigham Young
* Hot Monogamy, by Joseph Smith
* Dabbling in the Flesh Trade or How I Pimped My Daughter by Heber C. Kimball
* The Passion Party Planner - By Sheri Dew
* The Wit and Wisdom of Karl Marx - by Ezra Taft Benson
* The Sensitive Man's Guide to Romance - by Brigham Young
* "Catholic Truths" - by Bruce R. McConkie.
* "Logic" - by Martin Harris
* "Women's Rights" by Heber C. Kimball
* 'How to Increase Factory Production' by Boyd K. Packer
* "Yes, We Teach That" by Gordon B. Hinckley
* Forgiven at Last: How I Found Bigfoot by Spencer W. Kimball
* "I Heart Hoffmann" by Kimball & Hinckley
* Darkies are Wonderful People - By Joseph Fielding Smith
* "How to Drive Your Husband WILD!!!" - by Sister Bednar


Oh the list could go on... And on...

Those are great! I didn't get some of the references. But made me giggle! :D

[_Pokatator]

Not to brag or anything, but the first 10 are mine. :)

I'm sure I would enjoy a board parody war between Runtu and Infymus!

Tastes great - less filling, tastes great - less filling.

You both have some creative genius that I enjoy!

[_karl61]

did someone say Osmonds?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=r0e0XTZlh_Y

[_LifeOnaPlate]

No light bulb jokes? Lame.

[_Dr. Shades]

• Proper Research: Drawing no more conclusions than your sources allow, by Hugh Nibley
  
• Effective Public Speaking: How to win the sympathy of your audience every time, by Boyd K. Packer
  
• Map of Humanity: Charting human migrations through DNA evidence, by the Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies
  
• Netiquette for Everybody: The do's and don'ts of Internet ethics, by Allen Wyatt
  
• FAIR is FAIR: Moderating Internet discussion boards with civility and equity, by the MA&D moderation team
  
• Ain't Nothin' in Your Closet: Ridding yourself of superstition, by Joseph Smith Senior and Lucy Mack Smith
  
• Smooth Sailing: Why the great Westward Migration went off without a hitch, by John D. Lee, foreword by Bishop Kligensmith
  
• My Tips for Achieving Longevity, by Howard W. Hunter
  
• Who Needs Fences? How to get along with all your neighbors all the time, by Joseph Smith Jr.
  
• Reflections On My Happy Marriage: The memoirs of Emma Smith
  
• Biographical sketches of those responsible for the Mountain Meadows Massacre, by Gordon B. Hinckley

Lastly, all in good fun:

• Pick Your Battles: Why it's usually best to back down even when you know are right, by Kevin Graham

[_Ray A]

I've compiled my own "assorted" list of short-books:

Building Bridges With Mormons, by Jeff Ricks.

Building Bridges With Anti-Mormons, by Hammer.

A Positive View of Mormons, by Steve Benson.

A Short Essay on Mormonism, by Bob Mc Cue.

Mormonism Simplified, by Tal Bachman.

A Logical Approach to Mormonism, by Ed Decker.

A Methodological and Historical Analysis of Mormonism, by Jerald and Sandra Tanner.

The Thinking Man's Guide to Mormonism, by Polygamy Porter.

The Benefits of Observing The Word of Wisdom, by Polygamy Porter.

A Spiritual and Metaphysical Approach to Mormonism, by Dr. Shades.

Mormon Orthodoxy in Principle and Practice, by Liz.

Living a Pure and Holy LDS Life, by barrelomonkeys.

Anger Management, by Ray A

Swearing is the Expression of Feeble Minds, by Ray A

How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Juliann.

Peacemaking, by Pahoran.

Facilitating Profitable Dialogue With Mormon Scholars, by Dartagnan.

Proper Sexual Etiquette Within Mormon Marriage, by Bond...James Bond.

The No-Light-Bulb Mormon Joke Book, by Infymus.

Intelligent Design For Mormons, by The Dude.

A Liberal Approach to Mormonism, by B.C.Space.

Clear Expression, Correct Spelling and Grammar by the MAD mods.

A Fundamentalist Approach To Mormonism, by Moksha.

Joseph Smith: Prophet of God, Inspired Revelator, by Dan Vogel.

Mormonism For Dummies, by Brent Metcalfe.

Mitt Romney For President, by Mercury.

[_Some Schmo]

- Great Mormon Men by anon
- Innovative Ideas by Recent Mormon Leaders by anon
- The Joy of Church by anon
- Great Female Mormon Leaders - A History by anon
- Mormon Geniuses by anon
- Smart Mormons by anon
- Average Intelligence Mormons by anon
- The Importance of Respecting Other Religions by anon
- Fags Are People Too by anon
- Great Apologist Arguments by anon
- Tithing and Financial Freedom by anon
- Accurate Church History Taught in Church by anon
- Apologists You Can't Help but Respect by anon
- DCP's Greatest Jokes by anon

...wow, you really can go on forever, huh?