Is it possible to stay happily married?

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Don't the majority of marriages in the LDS Church come from very young couples?

Seems the LDS Church actually does advocate throwing together two random people if they encourage young adults to marry and quickly start a family.

It's likely that a majority of LDS marriages in Utah are young, as in between the ages of 19 and say, 22 or 23. I don't know the actual statistics on this. I know some family specialists (like my marriage and family prof. at Weber State) emphasized that marrying young can be a factor in unhappiness in marriage.

That being said, I personally didn't marry until 24 (still young, compared to national avg, I believe) and my wife was also 24. Most of my high school pals were married before me, a few weren't.

A happy marriage can come from high school sweethearts, to people who met and married n the same year. Likewise, unhappy marriages can come from the same situations. I don't believe it is as black and white as we'd like to paint it.

[_truth dancer]

Is it possible for two people to remain happily married?

Absolutely, no question about it, positively, without a doubt... YES!


:-)

~dancer~

[_Blixa]

I couldn't remember how old I was when I got married. I did the math and I was 37. Wow. Its been a long time. Happy times, yes. But that's because we're living a very unrighteous (in the Mormon sense) life.

[_Yoda]

I don't believe Pres. Kimball was advocating throwing together any random two people and just going with it, I think he was talking about couples who share values and both honestly strive to live those values, and that their chances of success are greater, obviously.

Actually, that is exactly what President Kimball was saying. His comment was that any two random people who are LDS and both living the gospel could be happy together.

[_Some Schmo]

There seems to be this common myth that some people are "happy people," as though that's all they feel. It's a crock of crap. Everyone has their ups and downs. The question in a marriage is, "is being with your spouse worth the inevitable downs?"

I've been with my wife just over 16 years, and we've definitely had our moments. I've not been happy all the time. But here's the real question: Am I better off with or without her? There's is no question, I'm better off with her.

She pisses me off, warms my heart, drives me nuts, cracks me up, hurts my brain, makes me dinner, does things I don't agree with, is an incredible lover, has weird taste, and is a great mother all in one package. I wouldn't have her any other way. And there's no doubt she has a similar list for me.

You'll never get a perfect fit for a spouse; they aren't tailor made. Marriage takes work. So the question isn't whether it's "possible to stay happily married" but whether you're willing to look at it realistically and do the work of making it work... or not.

[_Yoda]

You'll never get a perfect fit for a spouse; they aren't tailor made. Marriage takes work. So the question isn't whether it's "possible to stay happily married" but whether you're willing to look at it realistically and do the work of making it work... or not.

Beautifully stated!

:)

[Guest]

If I have to work at something to be happy that seems counterintuitive to me.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Actually, that is exactly what President Kimball was saying. His comment was that any two random people who are LDS and both living the gospel could be happy together.

Well, I'm not interested in a random marriage. Arranged marriages involving people with similar values can be successful. Some researchers have pointed to India as an example, their divorce rate is MUCH lower than the US.
http://www.divorcerate.org/divorce-rate-in-india.html
However, this could be attributed to a culture of divorce taboo much stronger than that of the US.

At any rate, I think the best policy is to find a compatible mate to marry, not just grab the first breathing thing and hope that by "living righteously" all will work out.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

There seems to be this common myth that some people are "happy people," as though that's all they feel. It's a crock of crap. Everyone has their ups and downs. The question in a marriage is, "is being with your spouse worth the inevitable downs?"

I've been with my wife just over 16 years, and we've definitely had our moments. I've not been happy all the time. But here's the real question: Am I better off with or without her? There's is no question, I'm better off with her.

She pisses me off, warms my heart, drives me nuts, cracks me up, hurts my brain, makes me dinner, does things I don't agree with, is an incredible lover, has weird taste, and is a great mother all in one package. I wouldn't have her any other way. And there's no doubt she has a similar list for me.

You'll never get a perfect fit for a spouse; they aren't tailor made. Marriage takes work. So the question isn't whether it's "possible to stay happily married" but whether you're willing to look at it realistically and do the work of making it work... or not.

You go, schmo!

[_truth dancer]

Hey LoaP...

However, this could be attributed to a culture of divorce taboo much stronger than that of the US.

Having worked very intimately with women from this culture let me guarantee you that there are often horrible consequences for divorce.

Women are often disowned, shunned from the community, disrespected, and considered dead for the rest of their lives. Untold shame is heaped upon the family for the dishonor.

I'm not saying there are not happy marriages but the stats certainly do not give the full picture!

~dancer~