Is it possible to stay happily married?

[_Ray A]

I could probably count the number of non-newlywed couples that I believe are truly happily married on my fingers.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

[_KimberlyAnn]

Well, I know it's possible to stay unhappily married for a long time. Everyone in my family has done it!

KA

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Hey LoaP...

However, this could be attributed to a culture of divorce taboo much stronger than that of the US.

Having worked very intimately with women from this culture let me guarantee you that there are often horrible consequences for divorce.

Women are often disowned, shunned from the community, disrespected, and considered dead for the rest of their lives. Untold shame is heaped upon the family for the dishonor.

I'm not saying there are not happy marriages but the stats certainly do not give the full picture!

~dancer~

I am familiar with a few arranged marriages (in Wisconsin of all places, with Americans) that are very happy and satisfying, according to them, anyway. It'd be interesting to see statistics on American arranged marriages.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Well, I know it's possible to stay unhappily married for a long time. Everyone in my family has done it!

KA

More shouting?

[_Yoda]

Well, I know it's possible to stay unhappily married for a long time. Everyone in my family has done it!

KA

More shouting?

???? WTF?

[_skippy the dead]

Hey LoaP...

However, this could be attributed to a culture of divorce taboo much stronger than that of the US.

Having worked very intimately with women from this culture let me guarantee you that there are often horrible consequences for divorce.

Women are often disowned, shunned from the community, disrespected, and considered dead for the rest of their lives. Untold shame is heaped upon the family for the dishonor.

I'm not saying there are not happy marriages but the stats certainly do not give the full picture!

~dancer~

There are also different expectations in an Indian arranged marriage. I live in an area with many Indians that still go home for their arranged marriage (then return here to their jobs). There aren't any illusions of "romantic love" per se. I believe that they expect to develop affection and even love for the spouse chosen for them, but they aren't expecting va-va-voom love, so they are not disappointed when there is no "spark." It would seem satisfaction or comfort would be more the goal, rather than "happy."

As for me, I do believe that a happy marriage is possible. So far so good for me and the fella.

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Hey LoaP...

However, this could be attributed to a culture of divorce taboo much stronger than that of the US.

Having worked very intimately with women from this culture let me guarantee you that there are often horrible consequences for divorce.

Women are often disowned, shunned from the community, disrespected, and considered dead for the rest of their lives. Untold shame is heaped upon the family for the dishonor.

I'm not saying there are not happy marriages but the stats certainly do not give the full picture!

~dancer~

There are also different expectations in an Indian arranged marriage. I live in an area with many Indians that still go home for their arranged marriage (then return here to their jobs). There aren't any illusions of "romantic love" per se. I believe that they expect to develop affection and even love for the spouse chosen for them, but they aren't expecting va-va-voom love, so they are not disappointed when there is no "spark." It would seem satisfaction or comfort would be more the goal, rather than "happy."

As for me, I do believe that a happy marriage is possible. So far so good for me and the fella.

I believe expectations also play a factor in relationship contentment.

[_Nephi]

Well, I know it's possible to stay unhappily married for a long time. Everyone in my family has done it!

KA

Including you? Honestly, if you are unhappily married for a long time and neither are willing to try to make it better, why stay together? God never intended that to be the case..

[_Some Schmo]

God never intended that to be the case.

I just love it when people speak on god's behalf, as though they have some kind of inside information on what this fictitious character thinks.

I should just start spouting off what Yoda thinks, and see how seriously people take me.

[_beastie]

I do know a few couples who have been married 20 plus years and are happy. They are definitely the minority.

I remember research/surveys showing that the hardest times for married couples are when they have young kids at home. It is plain hard to raise kids, and that stresses a marriage. Then, once the kids are out of the home, happiness tends to rise back to pre-kid levels.

Funny, hunh?