Best Fast and Testimony stories?

Post by **_Scottie** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:19 am

What are some of the doozies that people have shared in past Fast and Testimony meetings?

I remember a lady that got up once and spoke on her testimony of the blessings of paying tithing. She had paid tithing this month, even though the money was extremely tight. Well, the blessings abounded. She had bought a box of 14 chicken wings, cooked them up. Miraculously, her husband had 6, her sons ate 5 each, her daughters had 4 each, she had 5 or 6, and there were 8 left over! Well, something to that effect anyways. It was the loaves and fishes all over again!

Another lady, who just happened to be a red head, once got up and bore her testimony that it had been personally revealed to her that Heavenly Mother had red hair, just like hers!

Any more?

Post by **_Mercury** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:25 am

A mentally Ill ward member in Minneapolis told the congregation he wanted to sleep with the bishops wife.

Post by **_Polygamy Porter** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:27 am

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QM9hCNVIrCs&feature=user

Post by **_Scottie** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:28 am

Polygamy Porter wrote:http://youtube.com/watch?v=QM9hCNVIrCs&feature=user

Ok, that baby is just CREEPY!!!

Post by **_Ten Bear** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:06 pm

I grew up in the sixties. Back then, real, real old ladies would stand up and talk about meeting BY when they were small children. In thinking about it now, I guess that would put them as young girls back in the 60's and 70's of the 19th century.

One woman (I can still remember her name - I used to cut her lawn) got up to bear her testimony. She had no teeth an noone could understand a word she said. As she got further into her testimony, it became apparent the she was getting angrier and angrier and started yelling into the mic. Then she slipped out something EVERYONE understood. " ... blskdj kladjfklj lakjd my affair with Brother Young lakdjf ;lkdjf ; ljdflj.........".

Oh, and we all made out "inthenameofjesuschristamen" as well.

Post by **_Who Knows** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:11 pm

A few months ago, a lady stood up and told the congregation that god appeared to her and gave her a message that she was supposed to share with all of us. I can't remember what the message was, i had to get up and leave since i was laughing so hard.

Post by **_Scottie** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:44 pm

Ten Bear wrote:I grew up in the sixties. Back then, real, real old ladies would stand up and talk about meeting BY when they were small children. In thinking about it now, I guess that would put them as young girls back in the 60's and 70's of the 19th century.

One woman (I can still remember her name - I used to cut her lawn) got up to bear her testimony. She had no teeth an noone could understand a word she said. As she got further into her testimony, it became apparent the she was getting angrier and angrier and started yelling into the mic. Then she slipped out something EVERYONE understood. " ... blskdj kladjfklj lakjd my affair with Brother Young lakdjf ;lkdjf ; ljdflj.........".

Oh, and we all made out "inthenameofjesuschristamen" as well.

ROFL....that is awesome!

Post by **_cinepro** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:27 pm

We had a gentleman get up and bear his testimony about a recent trial he had. The week before he was afflicted with kidney stones. He excitedly explained how he passed 12 kidney stones "WITHOUT ONE DROP OF BLOOD". Then, he pulls out a small plastic bottle and shakes it in front of the microphone. It sounded like a baby rattle.

Good times.

Post by **_KimberlyAnn** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:35 pm

cinepro wrote:We had a gentleman get up and bear his testimony about a recent trial he had. The week before he was afflicted with kidney stones. He excitedly explained how he passed 12 kidney stones "WITHOUT ONE DROP OF BLOOD". Then, he pulls out a small plastic bottle and shakes it in front of the microphone. It sounded like a baby rattle.

Good times.

LOLOL! Honest! (Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I say that I'm LOL'ing, and it's a lie! Not this time!) That is so funny.

We once had a man get up and brush his teeth in front of the congregation. He brought a toothbrush, toothpaste, a cup of fresh water with which to rinse, and a cup into which he could spit. It was during a regular talk. He likened repentance unto brushing plaque from his teeth and proceeded to brush them right there in Sacrament Meeting. I thought it was gross.

KA

_Yoda · Post by **_Yoda** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:57 pm

We once had a man get up and brush his teeth in front of the congregation. He brought a toothbrush, toothpaste, a cup of fresh water with which to rinse, and a cup into which he could spit. It was during a regular talk. He likened repentance unto brushing plaque from his teeth and proceeded to brush them right there in Sacrament Meeting. I thought it was gross.

KA

EWWWWW! That IS gross!