Don't read while drinking soda (or other beverages)

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
Post Reply
_CaliforniaKid
_Emeritus
Posts: 4247
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:47 am

Don't read while drinking soda (or other beverages)

Post by _CaliforniaKid »

Over on MADB there's a thoroughly absurd thread, full of the usual accusations that this fellow is a troll, etc. In any case, his OP asks why in 1835 Joseph Smith added 112 words to D&C 7 (supposedly written by the apostle John) which introduce the previously-absent concept of the Melchizedek priesthood restoration.

This from Phaedrus ut was too good not to share:

Here's a thought. The first translation done for the Book of Commandments was taken from the Small Parchment of John. The additions were made when they were preparing the 1835 version and Joseph discovered that there was another secret hidden Large Parchment of John that he translated. And that accounts for the differences. You see the lord knew that initially the Joseph would want to translate the small parchment but after a few years Joseph may want to translate more. So he had John prepare 2 hidden parchments with a similar story but not exactly the same.

Remember John was "tarrying" on the Earth until the second coming so he had a lot of time on his hands. And parchments are cheap and light no big deal. It's not like he made him be redundant on metal plates and then carry the redundant story thousands of miles to hide in a hill.
Phaedrus


-Chris
_moksha
_Emeritus
Posts: 22508
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:42 pm

Post by _moksha »

More hidden document claims?
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
_Phaedrus Ut
_Emeritus
Posts: 524
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:55 pm

Post by _Phaedrus Ut »

Glad you liked it.
_Jason Bourne
_Emeritus
Posts: 9207
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:00 pm

Post by _Jason Bourne »

Wow.....What gyrations our minds can do.
_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Post by _Dr. Shades »

LOL! Did the MA&Dites catch the irony?
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_Sethbag
_Emeritus
Posts: 6855
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:52 am

Post by _Sethbag »

ROFL. Remember, this scroll of John's is one that Joseph Smith "translated" without even having possession of it. The claim is tantamount to "somewhere, out there in the world, there's this parchment scroll written by John, and here's the translation of it, given to me remotely by the power of the Holy Ghost."

So, since the source material can in fact be anywhere in the world, why do we require that it actually have been a discrete document? Perhaps Joseph Smith was merely "translating" a story that was produced virtually by taking the first letter in each paragraph of every story in the London Times from 1800-1834 and arranging them appropriately. Joseph didn't actually have to possess the newspapers, and he didn't have to actually order them in any particular way. It suffices that editions of this paper existed, somewhere, and that their first words began with letters. Oh how mysterious are the ways of the Lord!
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

OMG! Glad I put my Pepsi down before reading this.

LOL
_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Post by _Dr. Shades »

Sethbag wrote:ROFL. Remember, this scroll of John's is one that Joseph Smith "translated" without even having possession of it. The claim is tantamount to "somewhere, out there in the world, there's this parchment scroll written by John, and here's the translation of it, given to me remotely by the power of the Holy Ghost."


Which makes you wonder: If Smith could "remote vew" the parchment of John, why did he need to bother digging up the golden plates? Why didn't he just "remote view" them too?
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_Scottie
_Emeritus
Posts: 4166
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:54 pm

Post by _Scottie »

liz3564 wrote:OMG! Glad I put my Pepsi down before reading this.

LOL

You're a Pepsi drinker too?? Liz, why aren't we married???
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_Scottie
_Emeritus
Posts: 4166
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:54 pm

Post by _Scottie »

Dr. Shades wrote:
Sethbag wrote:ROFL. Remember, this scroll of John's is one that Joseph Smith "translated" without even having possession of it. The claim is tantamount to "somewhere, out there in the world, there's this parchment scroll written by John, and here's the translation of it, given to me remotely by the power of the Holy Ghost."


Which makes you wonder: If Smith could "remote vew" the parchment of John, why did he need to bother digging up the golden plates? Why didn't he just "remote view" them too?


He did....they just couldn't be quite as remote as these other documents. When he did the Book of Mormon, he could only "see" documents that were a few feet away. His gift got better as the years went on, and he could "see" documents that were further and further away. Why is that so hard to understand?
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
Post Reply