what would you do if you were prophet for a day?

[_Babblonian]

Denounce garments and the Book of Abraham, proclaim the Book of Mormon to be inspired fiction, kill Sunday School, bring back the giant beards.

Don't know what I would do after lunch though.

You likely wouldn't make it to lunch.

Or be prophet for a day, for that matter.

You have something against giant beards?

[_LifeOnaPlate]

Denounce garments and the Book of Abraham, proclaim the Book of Mormon to be inspired fiction, kill Sunday School, bring back the giant beards.

Don't know what I would do after lunch though.

You likely wouldn't make it to lunch.

Or be prophet for a day, for that matter.

You have something against giant beards?

I should hope not; I'm wearing one right now.

[_harmony]

I'd open the books, give women the priesthood, open temple marriages to anyone who is interested in attending, and start a new policy that all callings, including the Top 15, are for 5 years and then they're released. No more of this "Lifetime calling" garbage.

[_guy sajer]

I'd find some pretty, gullible young lassies and manipulate them into my bed.

What good is it being a prophet if you can't get some bootie out of it? Just ask Joseph Smith.

[_The Nehor]

I would do what God told me to do.

Ah, but according to some (*cough - charity*), you need to approach God with a proposition and have it confirmed by him - he's not going to come right out and tell you anything.

So I guess you wouldn't have to do much, if you just waited for him to tell you something. Not a bad idea I suppose - we can all use a day off.

True doctrine my friend. What would I ask? Here is a hastily compiled list:

"Would you like me to extend the Priesthood to the Sisters?"
"Can we put both the Teachers and the Deacons on collecting Fast Offerings?"
"Can we extend Church dances to 1 AM?"
"Would you like me to reserve you a spot for a personal appearance in the next General Conference?"
"What steps, if any, would you like taken towards consecration?"
"Can we excommunicate anyone who wears suspenders to Sacrament Meeting?"
"Would you be offended at all if I tried out the seerstones?"
"Can I have a peek at the Book of Joseph?"
"Why didn't you strike George Lucas down before he ruined Star Wars?"
"Can I see the visions of eternity?"
"What do you need me to tell the peoples?"
"Can I do an Elijah versus the Priests of Baal scenario with the Jehovah's Witnesses? Please?"
"Will you please strike dumb everyone who tells warm fuzzies or gives travelogues in Church meetings?"
"I would like to tell the people that the reason that the Gifts of the Spirit are not more prevalent among them is that they do not seek them?"

[_karl61]

I would do what God told me to do.

Ah, but according to some (*cough - charity*), you need to approach God with a proposition and have it confirmed by him - he's not going to come right out and tell you anything.

So I guess you wouldn't have to do much, if you just waited for him to tell you something. Not a bad idea I suppose - we can all use a day off.

True doctrine my friend. What would I ask? Here is a hastily compiled list:

"Would you like me to extend the Priesthood to the Sisters?"
"Can we put both the Teachers and the Deacons on collecting Fast Offerings?"
"Can we extend Church dances to 1 AM?"
"Would you like me to reserve you a spot for a personal appearance in the next General Conference?"
"What steps, if any, would you like taken towards consecration?"
"Can we excommunicate anyone who wears suspenders to Sacrament Meeting?"
"Would you be offended at all if I tried out the seerstones?"
"Can I have a peek at the Book of Joseph?"
"Why didn't you strike George Lucas down before he ruined Star Wars?"
"Can I see the visions of eternity?"
"What do you need me to tell the peoples?"
"Can I do an Elijah versus the Priests of Baal scenario with the Jehovah's Witnesses? Please?"
"Will you please strike dumb everyone who tells warm fuzzies or gives travelogues in Church meetings?"
"I would like to tell the people that the reason that the Gifts of the Spirit are not more prevalent among them is that they do not seek them?"

please refer to these as braces hereafter - show some style ;) yes for excommunication but only for clip-ons.

[_Pokatator]

I would do what God told me to do.

According to Charity God doesn't do anything until you ask.

Edited: Sorry Skippy I answered Nehor before I read your excellent post.

[_Pokatator]

I like Harmony's open the books.

How about open the vaults?

How about defining when a prophet spoke as a man or a prophet?

Determine what is canon.

Where is the Hill CaMoroni?

[_Some Schmo]

I'd install flat panel widescreens in all the churches and sacrament meeting would consist of showing whatever big game was on that week. The kitchens would all be used to prepare the snacks (wings, nachos, beer, etc). Alcohol would be declared "good for the belly."

And there would be no church in the off season.

[Guest]

*** Bring back ZCMI.

*** Turn the Joseph Smith Building back into the Hotel Utah.

*** Buy a ski resort.

*** Grant limited-use recommends to non-member immediate family for temple wedding attendance.

*** Start a nationwide chain of Lion House restaurants.

*** Open up the tunnels underneath downtown SLC to guided tours, like the catecombs in Europe.

*** Put out a series of instructional videos on pay-per-view in the various Marriott hotel franchises.

***Award frequent flyer points for tithing and other charitable contributions.