While visions of metallic Elders danced in our heads

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_moksha
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While visions of metallic Elders danced in our heads

Post by _moksha »

Scene: Darkened relief society room. Several people are sitting in a circle, singing "Silent Night", along with a guitar. The door are kicked in and a squad of metallic Elders in helmets and white shirts burst in, wielding flashlights and stun batons.

Leader: Achtung! You vill stay right where you are! Nobody moves! Ve are der Ward Moo-sic Polize and you are all under arrest!

Singer: Arrest? Arrest? For what?

Leader: "Irreverent moo-sic", shot-zee. Vat else? Ve heard da plunky-plunky of a git-tar used vile Gott vas mentioned. Sin! Mortal Sin!

Singer: NO! Impossible! I mean, uh, "Silent Night" was composed by guitar! Sin? Impossible!

Leader: Silent Night composed by der plunky-plunky git-tar is liberal revisionist propaganda! Snell! All of you up into der Paddy Wagon. Ve haf ways of making you talk! Everyone surrender your papers! You vill face und immediate Court of Love.




(by the way, I thought this day dreaming was too much for MAD, but maybe not appropriate here as well. Fortunately no censorship or repercussions here.)
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
_Pokatator
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Re: While visions of metallic Elders danced in our heads

Post by _Pokatator »

moksha wrote:Scene: Darkened relief society room. Several people are sitting in a circle, singing "Silent Night", along with a guitar. The door are kicked in and a squad of metallic Elders in helmets and white shirts burst in, wielding flashlights and stun batons.

Leader: Achtung! You vill stay right where you are! Nobody moves! Ve are der Ward Moo-sic Polize and you are all under arrest!

Singer: Arrest? Arrest? For what?

Leader: "Irreverent moo-sic", shot-zee. Vat else? Ve heard da plunky-plunky of a git-tar used vile Gott vas mentioned. Sin! Mortal Sin!

Singer: NO! Impossible! I mean, uh, "Silent Night" was composed by guitar! Sin? Impossible!

Leader: Silent Night composed by der plunky-plunky git-tar is liberal revisionist propaganda! Snell! All of you up into der Paddy Wagon. Ve haf ways of making you talk! Everyone surrender your papers! You vill face und immediate Court of Love.




(by the way, I thought this day dreaming was too much for MAD, but maybe not appropriate here as well. Fortunately no censorship or repercussions here.)



At least it wasn't a song that went with drums. Drums would have been the ultimate sin.

There would have been worse repercussions for the percussions!
I think it would be morally right to lie about your religion to edit the article favorably.
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_Sethbag
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Post by _Sethbag »

It is quite sad that the LDS leadership has ordained and commanded that no guitars shall be played in the chapel. If you want to have a musical piece, and play the violin, go for it. Flute, go for it. Piano, go for it. Harp, go for it. There are tons of instruments you could play in the chapel for a musical piece. But you want to play a guitar? Even an acoustic or classical guitar? Nope. Strictly verboten.

I can imagine some bishops letting classical guitars into their sacrament meetings, and pretty soon the First Presidency has to issue another letter, like the one that was talked of here recently. "It has come to our attention that guitars have been played in some wards as part of musical numbers. This will stop immediately. Carry on."
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_harmony
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Post by _harmony »

Sethbag wrote:It is quite sad that the LDS leadership has ordained and commanded that no guitars shall be played in the chapel. If you want to have a musical piece, and play the violin, go for it. Flute, go for it. Piano, go for it. Harp, go for it. There are tons of instruments you could play in the chapel for a musical piece. But you want to play a guitar? Even an acoustic or classical guitar? Nope. Strictly verboten.

I can imagine some bishops letting classical guitars into their sacrament meetings, and pretty soon the First Presidency has to issue another letter, like the one that was talked of here recently. "It has come to our attention that guitars have been played in some wards as part of musical numbers. This will stop immediately. Carry on."


Or brass. I guess God doesn't like trumpets now.
_moksha
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Post by _moksha »

harmony wrote:
Or brass. I guess God doesn't like trumpets now.


I understand Gabriel was fairly put out about this, till it was explained that the thinking had already been done by the Brethren.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
_Livingstone22
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Post by _Livingstone22 »

I guess I never thought about it. They really have issues with music that isn't set to certain instruments? I'm so damn tired of hearing piano and organ. Twice I've heard a violin and cello; that was nice. I wish they would liven up the boring music--maybe find some different songs than which are in the hymnbook? I'd sure love to hear "My Sweet Lord" once in sacrament.
_Imwashingmypirate
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Post by _Imwashingmypirate »

Ha that is hilarious. Just going to get me pasta b4 it burns. Pheew that was too close.

We once had a birthday party in the chapel for a church member ant we played music for her as in a live band. I play bass guitar. The bishop even played guitar in the chapel. And the missionaries did too. I think ve will all be goving to hell. Hum der Hum der Hum. XD
_Imwashingmypirate
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Post by _Imwashingmypirate »

It was proper rock music too, some emo like system of a down and funeral for a friend. None of your silent night stuff. I guess we just had a cool ward.
_silentkid
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Post by _silentkid »

Imwashingmypirate wrote:We once had a birthday party in the chapel for a church member ant we played music for her as in a live band. I play bass guitar. The bishop even played guitar in the chapel. And the missionaries did too. I think ve will all be goving to hell. Hum der Hum der Hum. XD


A birthday party in the chapel? On Sunday? Are you sure it wasn't in the cultural hall/basketball court room? When I was in student wards at BYU we had talent shows where bands played on the stage in the cultural hall. No problem with that. I think the other posters are referring to what the church leadership "allows" to be played during sacrament meeting.
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Sethbag wrote:But you want to play a guitar? Even an acoustic or classical guitar? Nope. Strictly verboten.


Really? I thought that classical guitar was OK.
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