Here Comes Santa Claus parody FARMS DCP version

[_richardMdBorn]

This one could also use some work, but here it is:

Here comes Danny Boy, here comes Danny Boy,
Right down FARMS Lane.

Nibley, Hinckley, all his apologists
Pulling on the reins.
Bells are ringing, children singing,
All is merry and bright.
Hang your stockings and say a prayer,
'Cause Danny Boy comes tonight.

Here comes Danny Boy, here comes Danny Boy,
Riding down FARMS Lane.

He's got a bag that's filled with toys
For FARMS reviewers again.
Hear those tapirs jingle jangle,
What a beautiful sight.
Jump in bed and cover up your eyes,
Because Danny Boy comes tonight.

Here comes Danny Boy, here comes Danny Boy,
Riding down Danny Boy Lane.

He doesn't care if you're a rich or rich boy,
You’re an LDS leader just the same.
Danny knows who is the butthead
That makes everything right.
Fill your hears with Christmas cheer,
'Cause Danny Boy comes tonight.

Well, here comes Danny Boy, here comes Danny Boy,
Riding down FARMS Lane.

He'll come around when the chimes ring out
It's Christmas morn again.
Peace on Earth will come to all
If we just follow the Prophet
Let's give thanks to the Lord above,
'Cause Danny Boy comes tonight.

'Cause Danny Boy comes tonight.

[_Daniel Peterson]

Well, um . . . yes, it could use some work. On meter, concept, humor, and so forth.

I wouldn't quit my day-job, if I were you.

Runtu's was considerably better.

Play to your strengths. Have you considered lawn mower repair?

[_harmony]

Well, um . . . yes, it could use some work. On meter, concept, humor, and so forth.

I wouldn't quit my day-job, if I were you.

Runtu's was considerably better.

Play to your strengths. Have you considered lawn mower repair?

*gasp* Santa! You're here!

[_Mister Scratch]

Well, um . . . yes, it could use some work. On meter, concept, humor, and so forth.

I wouldn't quit my day-job, if I were you.

Runtu's was considerably better.

Play to your strengths. Have you considered lawn mower repair?

Hello again, Dan. Glad to see you back. You know, I thought I'd point out that you *still* haven't provided any kind of real rebuttal to our critique of your assertion that LDS scholars have made a concerted effort to present their most controversial theories to a wider academic audience.

And, you know, you hounded Yme up and down the MADboard (claiming that you like to pop balloons), so I guess you'll have no problem if I treat you exactly the same way. Pop!

[_Some Schmo]

Well, I will say that you're on the right track with this. Santa and DCP have much in common:

- they both live in an imaginary world
- only a child would really believe in him; once a person grows up, he/she realizes he's bogus
- they both represent magical thinking to the extreme
- people refer to both of them by many different names
- he has this storied reputation which has no basis in reality
- apparently, they're both big fat guys

[_richardMdBorn]

Well, um . . . yes, it could use some work. On meter, concept, humor, and so forth.

I wouldn't quit my day-job, if I were you.

Runtu's was considerably better.

Play to your strengths. Have you considered lawn mower repair?

Well, I've played a role, via a peer reviewed article, in overturning the "history" that was used to award a $500,000 prize. But I don't have the gumption to write that the murder of over 100 people is an alleged massacre so I'm not up to DCP standards.

[_asbestosman]

But I don't have the gumption to write that the murder of over 100 people is an alleged massacre so I'm not up to DCP standards.

He didn't say "alleged", he said "so-called".

I think his choice of words was poor, but I don't recall Dr. Peterson ever denying that hundreds of people were murdered in that incident.

[_dartagnan]

Hey Dan, while you're here (face it, you're always with us) why don't you go ahead and explain to us why you allowed a poster (Zemah) on a MAD thread to make a ridiculously false claim such as "Islam means peace," without correction?

As an educator on the subject, I find this inexcusable.

Unless of course Islamic apologetics and political correctness is more important to you than truth; as I have always, suspected, demonstrated, proved, etc. I suspect you are only interested in truth so long as it can be used to paint lovely portraits of the subject you have devoted you life to defending (no, not Mormonism, the other one). Your deafening silence on the various Islam related threads are cases in point.

I wonder if you will go on record and confirm or deny his other outrageous comment that Islam, by taking over two third of Christian territory by force, "rescued them from the grasps of Satan in the false doctrines of Christendom."

http://www.mormonapologetics.org/index. ... opic=30404

[_Ray A]

Hey Dan, while you're here (face it, you're always with us) why don't you go ahead and explain to us why you allowed a poster (Zemah) on a MAD thread to make a ridiculously false claim such as "Islam means peace," without correction?

Kevin, two questions:

1) How many Muslims do you actually know, and associate with?

2) Which religion is responsible for more bloodshed on this planet - Islam, or Christianity?

[_Ray A]

Have you considered lawn mower repair?

That would depend on whether it was a Christian lawn mower, or a Mormon lawn mower. Mormon lawn mowers need fixing. Christian lawn mowers are fixed by grace. You only have to believe they are fixed - and they are.