liz3564 wrote:Mister Scratch wrote:Given that the mother says that she described her "feelings" about it, I doubt very much that she said, "I don't agree with the philosophy of the book." I am willing to bet that she said something more along the lines of, "I felt the spirit leave me," or, "This is a dark book," or something like that. The mother clearly did not want her daughter to read the book, and so I doubt very much that she presented it in such neutral terms.
Then again, in my experience, LDS mothers often tend to think they are granting free agency when, in fact, they are placing pressures on their kids in various ways, even if they don't mean to.
You're reading things into what was said, Scratch. I suppose she might have said, "It's a dark book," or "I felt the spirit leave me," but there is no indication in what was written that she said either of these things.
Neither is there any indication that her "discussion" with her daughter was in any way "neutral," as you suggested. In fact, what we do know here seems more to point in the direction of my interpretation. Others on the thread have already identified what was at play here: The mother
did not want her daughter to read the book, but nevertheless wanted to make it seem as if the daughter herself was making the decision. Very crafty, don't you think?
Here is the full account:
I was a young mother with a two-year-old at that time, and the thought that my calling was to “enrich, protect, and guard my home” really made me think deeply how I could possibly do that in an increasingly wicked world.
Ten years later that same two-year-old, Clarissa, came home from school with a book by Judy Blume, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. I had heard about Ms. Blume and in particular this book; her writing and thinking didn’t seem in line with what I wanted my children to read or learn. But I also didn’t think it would be productive to just forbid her to read it. So, I made a deal with her, I would read the book first and then we would discuss it and she could decide whether or not to read it herself.
I read the book, which as I remember is about a young girl, Margaret, who is trying to find God and goes from one church to another, but never finds Him. She never really resolves her search; the book seemed atheistic to me (although not nearly as forceful as Pullman’s books). I sat Clarissa down and described the book and my feelings on it; she decided not to read it and returned it to the library the next day.
Note the bolded emphasis (mine). The mother had heard things about the book that she didn't agree with. She didn't out and out deny her daughter the right to read the book.
I agree with this. Instead, the mom wanted to figure out a more sneaky way to "trick" the daughter into thinking that she (i.e., the daughter) didn't
want to read the book. The mother carefully omits whatever it was that helped to dissuade the daughter from reading the book.
She simply wanted to read it first.
I disagree with the term "simply"---after all, she notes that she had preconceptions about Judy Blume, and that, "her writing and thinking didn’t seem in line with what I wanted my children to read or learn."
She clearly states that after the book was read and discussed, she would leave it to her daughter to decide whether or not to read it.
She also clearly states that, "her writing and thinking didn’t seem in line with what I wanted my children to read or learn." Do you really think that this mother would have allowed for the possibility that her precious daughter might have been "polluted" by the book? Does the reading of the book actually seem like a genuine possibility here, given the mother's low opinion of Judy Blume?
The whole point of the story was that her daughter made the choice not to read the book on her own.
But we don't know that for certain, since we don't know what was said in the midst of their "discussion". The mother obviously did not want her daughter to be exposed to this text, and yet also wanted the daughter to feel as if she was making her own choice.
But the daughter clearly was not given the full choice.
The mother has stated that she would have let her daughter read the book had she chosen to.
She doesn't say that anywhere. She says that the daughter could "decide" if she
wanted to read the book, but that is very different from being
allowed to read the book.
I don't think it's fair to immediately come to the conclusion that the mother was lying.
I did not say, nor did I intend to imply, that the mother way lying.