jskains wrote:I know, I said I was going to only post in the Celestial forum, but I do have a question I thought I would ask the group and see if we could have a serious and mature discusion without serious confinement.
First off, I know I have been a bit of an ass. There are reasons which I could go into, but lets reset for a second, because I think from the reactions I got from you folks, that I can ask this one question I really need answered. I need both sides to chime in, but there are reasons I want people critical of the church to comment.
One of the reasons I am likely going to move on from this board is now I do have a baby coming (our first) mixed in with some big projects for my business starting next week (which is why I have time on my hands now... I am waiting for the servers to arrive).....
(Also, we get to find out what the sex is on the 27th.)
I hope you can be nice cause I want a serious answer. How can I ensure that while I would LIKE this child to be Mormon, they had a choice like I did? Would going with them to other Churches help? Books?
I don't want to SHOVE Mormonism down the kid's throat. And I refuse to do the "testemony coaching" crap parents do. My wife and I have already accepted that if the kid choses another religion, we will support them in that. We will give them our concerns, but if that is their choice, then that is that.
I hope this thread goes well, because this is an honest concern I have....
And for you that are Ex-Mormons who grew up in the Church, please think of the things you would have liked your parents to have done.
Thanks,
JMS
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jskains stated:
I hope you can be nice cause I want a serious answer. How can I ensure that while I would LIKE this child to be Mormon, they had a choice like I did? Would going with them to other Churches help? Books?
jskains,
Congratulations on your upcoming event!! My best wishes to you and your family.
Now as for your interrogatives.
jskains stated:
I hope you can be nice cause I want a serious answer. How can I ensure that while I would LIKE this child to be Mormon, they had a choice like I did? Would going with them to other Churches help? Books?
There are so many books that a comprehensive list would be most time-consuming to make.
If you want your child to be Mormon, you need to do just what the official church wants you to do. It won’t phrase it as I will, but you will understand.
You must begin indoctrination early on. You also must prevent to the extent possible the opportunity for a growing child from exposure to points of view other than those your church wants them to have.
My parents were both university professors. As a result, I was exposed to a wide variety of perspectives. When I attended college, I also took such courses as
Comparative Religious Studies along with my major work in English and speech.
As a result of my rather cosmopolitan youth, I recognized early on that religion of any kind was largely about doctrine and inventions of
God. If you want your child to be Mormon, you
do not want to expose that child to international perspectives regarding various “churches” or other religions. Such exposure would be a significant threat to the highly biased parochial, provincial view of any narrow religious view.
If you go to “other churches” only to further indoctrinate in the Mormon preference, it’s still a risky undertaking. The last thing any religious bias wants is objective thinking and critical analysis of its positions or its emergence/evolution.
Genuine “choice” is a matter of free access to information and objective, penetrating study and thought.
I am skeptical that you want that given what I have seen of your posts here.
Clearly a child from cradle to or perhaps through high school is someone primarily under the control of parents and parenting. Even secular high schools are very soft on authentic education regarding religion. They are because they rightly fear criticism of parents of children.
At the university level NOT connected with any particular religious group is the most likely place for a
child to gain exposure to the views of others and to such education as that found in
comparative religion courses.
jskains stated:
I don't want to SHOVE Mormonism down the kid's throat. And I refuse to do the "testemony coaching" crap parents do. My wife and I have already accepted that if the kid choses another religion, we will support them in that. We will give them our concerns, but if that is their choice, then that is that.
The most effective indoctrination is that which takes place without a child even knowing it is going on. He grows up on a religious environment (a denomination or sect), attends a particular religious group, participates in
youth work and is well indoctrinated without any understanding that he
is being indoctrinated. That’s the most effective. When you refer to
shoved down the kid’s throat, you refer to a view which has wide interpretation.
So long as people are indoctrinated
without their knowing it’s happening, it does not appear to them (children especially) that anything is being
shoved down the throat.
What is more likely if you are genuinely open to truthful responses to questions is that the child is not likely to have a strong religious connection. You cannot take a child to a single denomination for 18 years and answer all questions from the
standard playbook of that religion and consider that you have given a choice to that child.
Patriotism, nationalism, religious bias are all the kind of thing which require subtle or overt
mental management by controlling exposure which that child has. That you say you refuse to do “testimony coaching” is certainly a step toward rearing an independently, intellectually honest child. But it’s only one step. There are many others.
Clearly, I am not an “Ex-Mormon.” It was my good fortune to have parents out of the academic world who introduced me to the arts (many of which came out of religion in some way). We attended performances of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, went to the opera, visited the Chicago Museum of Natural History, and took in a very wide variety of cultural experiences. That kind of exposure freed me to appreciate, to think, to explore, to read in a way that would have been prohibited had I been reared in a
religious mind-set of a narrow religion.
I should mention that I have read here only your opening post. I have not read any of the responses I saw numbered prior to writing this in response to your original post “raising a child as a Mormon the right way.”
(Because of this forum’s format) this will appear at the end of whatever was the last post. But it’s not offered to you, jskains, with any consideration of what others have written. After I post this, I may read some other responses.
Again my congratulations on the coming birth of your child. It is a happy occasion.
JAK