Men and Women: Mars and Venus.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:09 am

Not sure if this thread is appropriate here, but I'll start it here anyway. I'm thinking about Gad's statement that "marriage is doomed". I have actually felt the same way for a long time. Love and marriage is like a lucky draw. If you find "the One", you've got it made. But if you don't, there seems to be so much pretence and self-deception. I always love it when I met a happy couple very much in love, and who genuinely enjoy each other's company. But this is so rare. It seems like a lottery draw.

What I'd like to know is whether any of you have ever met your perfect "soulmate", or is this just a myth? Could this experience, of meeting a "soulmate", entirely change one's perspectives on life?

Post by **_Jersey Girl** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:22 am

I hate to be difficult (not really). Define "soul mate".

Post by **_Moniker** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:45 am

Hmm...

I don't really know what a "soul mate" is? I imagine at the beginning of most relationships there's the strong attraction, manic passion, and euphoria that comes from that freaking (yes, I hate mine, at this moment) limbic system that makes one go gaga for someone else. Anyway, after that wanes there's a deep seated love that can settle in (hopefully) if it's the person you're compatible with. I think that would be the key -- finding someone that you share common interests with and can be essentially a great friend and lover.

Post by **_beastie** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:47 am

My boyfriend and I have been together over ten years. We consider each other our "soulmate", by which we mean that we are compatible with one another in so many ways that it is highly unlikely we could ever find such a connection with someone else.

However, we only "live together" over the weekends. Perhaps actually getting married and living together would kill our relationship. I doubt it, but you never know.

Post by **_Moniker** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:49 am

beastie wrote:My boyfriend and I have been together over ten years. We consider each other our "soulmate", by which we mean that we are compatible with one another in so many ways that it is highly unlikely we could ever find such a connection with someone else.

However, we only "live together" over the weekends. Perhaps actually getting married and living together would kill our relationship. I doubt it, but you never know.

I've found that I enjoy men so much more when I do not live with them.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:53 am

Jersey Girl wrote:I hate to be difficult (not really). Define "soul mate".

A myth generated by the same people who originated the Leprechaun legend. Most marriages seem to be based on self-satisfaction. "We need food, money, sex, so let's roll together." "You use me, and I'll use you, for 'mutual' satisfaction." In this view, how is Gad's idea so radical? Couldn't partners become like useful "masturbation tools", to use a crude expression?

But what if you found someone who made you happy, beyond all this? So much that you'd enjoy just being with them even more than 50 consecutive orgasms? LOL.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:59 am

beastie wrote:
However, we only "live together" over the weekends. Perhaps actually getting married and living together would kill our relationship. I doubt it, but you never know.

I think it would - unless you found a "soulmate". Someone that 24/7 would be too little. But I doubt this exists except for the "chosen few".

Post by **_Moniker** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:04 am

Ray A wrote:
beastie wrote:
However, we only "live together" over the weekends. Perhaps actually getting married and living together would kill our relationship. I doubt it, but you never know.

I think it would - unless you found a "soulmate". Someone that 24/7 would be too little. But I doubt this exists except for the "chosen few".

Perhaps, it's just me? But I hope I never find someone that wants to be with me 24/7, or I with them. I think a bit of alone time is just fine for a relationship. I mean, too much is rather stifling.

Post by **_charity** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:13 am

I guess I am one of the lucky few. 24/7 since I retired. What is called in the Triangular Theory the consummate relaitonship. Passion, intimacy and commitment.

You can't manage that on weekends. Or without the committment of a long term relationship. 46 years and counting.

_Ray A · Post by **_Ray A** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:14 am

Moniker wrote:Perhaps, it's just me? But I hope I never find someone that wants to be with me 24/7, or I with them. I think a bit of alone time is just fine for a relationship. I mean, too much is rather stifling.

Each to his/her own, Mon. I feel the same way at the moment. But I'm 24/7 free of women. LOL. I find computer keyboards sexier, and I'm more interested in current walking stick design than "flings". Very sexy, I know.

That's why I'm wondering if anyone has found the "perfect soulmate".

I think I've seen a few who have. But it's nothing but a lottery draw.