questions for Joseph Smith when he shows up at the temple

[_Ten Bear]

It would be interesting to see how well he could answer the current TR questions as they stand. Of course, all this after you shake his hand.

[_Black Moclips]

It was Hammer over on the other board who said he had met Joseph Smith face to face. I asked him about it and apparently it was accident (slip of the keyboard) to share something so sacred. Well then the other day, he mentions that he has seen Christ (or the light of Christ) face to face as well. I called him on it/asked him about it and of course, got no response. I guess everyone takes it at face value over there, but I am skeptical. He seems to toss out those statements to show how spiritual he is and just how strong his testimony is, but he gives no details and then says its too sacred. Just like when GA's insinuate great experiences but don't share them.

[_Coggins7]

1. Did he, or did he not, deflower Helen Mar Kimball before his death?

2. Exactly how many women did he really proposition in secret? I believe there's good reason to suspect that the number is higher than the number Compton, or anyone else, could document.

3. How many, and how large were they, papyrus documents did he really have? Were the ones the church has now in its possession really what he "translated" into the Book of Abraham? Let's put this one to bed, shall we?

4. Was the Book of Mormon the product of a "loose" or a "tight" translation process? In other words, was he just dictating words as they appeared on the ethereal parchmant scraps at the bottom of his hat, or was his mind flooded with ideas that he had to solidify into his own words?

5. What exactly is the connection between the Masonic secret handshakes and tokens, and getting into Heaven? In other words, would Joseph Smith confirm, or deny, that for a person to enter the Celestial Kingdom, they really will, honestly, no crap, have to stand in front of an Angel and demonstrate knowledge of the same exact secret grips and handshakes that Joseph Smith learned in Freemasonry?

6. What was William Law going to reveal in the 2nd edition of the Expositor, which Joseph Smith feared becoming public so much that he had the press destroyed to prevent it being printed?

7. Were all of the American Indians in fact Lamanites, and did the story of the Book of Mormon really occur over wide swathes of North America, including territory in the United States, such as Illinois (think Zelph) and New York (think Hill Cumorah/Moroni)?

8. Did the Flood of Noah really happen, was it on a global scale, and did it in fact wipe out all human flesh on Earth save the souls preserved in the Ark?

9. Where does he think the Australian Aborigines came from? How long have they been on Australia, and how did they get there?

10. Of what nature was his "sealing" to Fanny Alger when their romp in the barn was discovered at least a couple of years before the sealing power was supposed to have been restored in Kirtland? Did God tell Joseph Smith he could romp around with Fanny behind his own legitimate wife's back, or was that his own stroke of brilliance?

11. Was his second, sham marriage to the Partridge Sisters in front of Emma, which he held to preserve the secret that he'd already "married" both of these sisters months before behind Emma's back, sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise?

11a. How can the Holy Spirit consecrate a sham marriage performed with the intent to deceive?

11b. How can an Joseph Smith justify such sacred topics as Celestial Sealings being performed in vain, when they had already previously been performed, and the second performance was merely for the purposes of deception of his wife?

What questions would you guys add to the list? Let's make sure we cover all the bases, so when one of us has Joseph Smith appear to him, we'll all be ready.

Actually, if Joseph Smith actually, empirically appeared to me in the Temple, these questions above would very likely never enter my mind at all. It is a testament to the kind of mentalities we are dealing with in forums such as this that, in this instance, they are at the forefront.

Strange, Seth would be asking about Fanny Alger, Helen Kimball, and his alleged "Sham"marriages, while I'd be asking about the mysteries of the Universe.

Oh, I forgot, Richard Dawkins has already told us all about that...

[_Coggins7]

A few more:

Why didn't your siblings wake up when Nephi (or was it Moroni?), came for his first visit?

Ancient Chinese secret.

Did mushrooms have anything to do with early visions you and others received?

Freudian slip number 1.

How did you manage to fight off all those bad guys when running through the forest carrying those heavy gold (plated?) plates?

Kung Fu grip.

[_Inconceivable]

Strange, Seth would be asking about Fanny Alger, Helen Kimball, and his alleged "Sham"marriages, while I'd be asking about the mysteries of the Universe.

I would ask him to now go and tell you what he just told me.

[_Blixa]

I'd ask him if that was a flaming sword in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me.

[_MishMagnet]

Well see, Coggins, nobody here really expects to see Joseph Smith in the temple so the questions are in jest.

The people who saw Joseph Smith in this alleged incident - did they ask about the mysteries of the universe? Did they have any new wisdom to share with the world? No, it sounds like they just had a sighting. Like Elvis.

I'd ask what it was like to have 30 sexual partners and did he feel bad going home to his clueless wife after leaving the bed of another woman.

[_Coggins7]

I'd ask what it was like to have 30 sexual partners and did he feel bad going home to his clueless wife after leaving the bed of another woman.

As soon as anyone comes up with a shred of documentary historical evidence, the kind you would need to back up a claim such as that, please let me know.

In the meantime, back to the mysteries of the universe...

[_The Nehor]

Well see, Coggins, nobody here really expects to see Joseph Smith in the temple so the questions are in jest.

The people who saw Joseph Smith in this alleged incident - did they ask about the mysteries of the universe? Did they have any new wisdom to share with the world? No, it sounds like they just had a sighting. Like Elvis.

I'd ask what it was like to have 30 sexual partners and did he feel bad going home to his clueless wife after leaving the bed of another woman.

I think Joseph as a counter-jest should meet you all with that list in hand after your deaths. I think it would be funny.

[_Trevor]

I'd ask him if that was a flaming sword in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me.

ROFLMAO!!!!