charity wrote:I'm sorry your family members are overdramatic. My husband baptized one of our granddaughters because the father is no longer TBM. It was a great occasion. Nobody sniffed and cried.
Tell you wife for me to grow up and stop acting like a melodramatic teenager. It is what it is, and whining isn't going to make it better.
Oh, yes, and you can also tell her that everything works out all right in the end. If it isn't all right now, it's because it isn't the end.
Damn you are such a compassionate soul
But hey, At least you are hard nose with someone you thought was being to TBMing about it. Charily-less is equally tough with everyone.
I appreciate the second chance--particularly since I believe you well worth it.
Perhaps if I use some of your own words, you may be less inclined to ignore what comes thereafter. So let me phrase it this way: Given the wonderful way you described your pending situation, what plans are you making to improve things for yourself and others over the next few weeks?
Here, I'll play Who Knows to satisfy Wade:
Who Knows: "I choose only to focus on my own behavior in order to improve life for myself and others over the next few weeks. While my family behaves in their chosen fashion, I will respond with patience, tolerance, and compassion, choosing to believe the expressions of their distress are not designed to harm or punish me, but rather expressions of their own inner pain. So I will do all I can to comfort them in their time of distress, continually assuring them that their life paths are valuable and legitimate and, in fact, the LDS church is a wonderful institution and can not be fairly criticized, despite my own current lack of belief. I will accept the fact that my actions cause pain in others and attempt to address that pain as much as possible."
Maybe if we make a little catalog of wade-acceptable responses we can just copy and paste them as needed.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
WHile we are on the topic of baptism it was 40 years ago yesterday I was baptized and 40 years ago today that I was confirmed. I was 8. I am getting OLD!!!
I appreciate the second chance--particularly since I believe you well worth it.
Perhaps if I use some of your own words, you may be less inclined to ignore what comes thereafter. So let me phrase it this way: Given the wonderful way you described your pending situation, what plans are you making to improve things for yourself and others over the next few weeks?
Here, I'll play Who Knows to satisfy Wade:
Who Knows: "I choose only to focus on my own behavior in order to improve life for myself and others over the next few weeks. While my family behaves in their chosen fashion, I will respond with patience, tolerance, and compassion, choosing to believe the expressions of their distress are not designed to harm or punish me, but rather expressions of their own inner pain. So I will do all I can to comfort them in their time of distress, continually assuring them that their life paths are valuable and legitimate and, in fact, the LDS church is a wonderful institution and can not be fairly criticized, despite my own current lack of belief. I will accept the fact that my actions cause pain in others and attempt to address that pain as much as possible."
Maybe if we make a little catalog of wade-acceptable responses we can just copy and paste them as needed.
ROFL!!! Oh, man---that was priceless. Can you imagine this kind of stuff getting applied to other uncomfortable situations?
charity wrote:I'm sorry your family members are overdramatic. My husband baptized one of our granddaughters because the father is no longer TBM. It was a great occasion. Nobody sniffed and cried.
Tell you wife for me to grow up and stop acting like a melodramatic teenager. It is what it is, and whining isn't going to make it better.
Oh, yes, and you can also tell her that everything works out all right in the end. If it isn't all right now, it's because it isn't the end.
Oooh, can I try Charity's stereotypical christian approach?
Who Knows, grow some balls. This is your child and he cannot be baptized without your consent. You have rights here. The grandparents do not get to come in here, make you feel bad and usurp the parental role in this situation. Tell your family you feel it is not in the best interests for the child to be baptized at such a young age into the church. Cancel the baptism. Son may feel disappointed, but what the heck. He is 8. Disappointment is an inevitable fact of life and he might as well get used to it. Then kick the jackass grandparents to the barn. It is none of their business anyway.
I am not sure there is any real benefit to be derived from putting words into other people's mouths.
I appreciate the second chance--particularly since I believe you well worth it.
Perhaps if I use some of your own words, you may be less inclined to ignore what comes thereafter. So let me phrase it this way: Given the wonderful way you described your pending situation, what plans are you making to improve things for yourself and others over the next few weeks?
Here, I'll play Who Knows to satisfy Wade:
Who Knows: "I choose only to focus on my own behavior in order to improve life for myself and others over the next few weeks. While my family behaves in their chosen fashion, I will respond with patience, tolerance, and compassion, choosing to believe the expressions of their distress are not designed to harm or punish me, but rather expressions of their own inner pain. So I will do all I can to comfort them in their time of distress, continually assuring them that their life paths are valuable and legitimate and, in fact, the LDS church is a wonderful institution and can not be fairly criticized, despite my own current lack of belief. I will accept the fact that my actions cause pain in others and attempt to address that pain as much as possible."
Maybe if we make a little catalog of wade-acceptable responses we can just copy and paste them as needed.
The notion of a "Wade-acceptible response" is foreign to my approach--and I have that on the highest authority.
However, I tend to consider disingenuous posts (particularly those that presume to speak for other--in your case both me and Who Knows) to be ineffectual, except perhaps as an object lesson on ineffectuality. ;-)
Anyway, may I reiterate my kindly, practical, and functional advise to not put words into other people's mouths, but let them speak for themselves.
This is not to suggest that there aren't some wise points in your ventriloquist-like post to consider. I believe there are.
The problem is that you are so completely transparent. You imagine yourself some sort of Dr. Phil - at times overtly imagine yourself Dr. Phil - but you're simply parroting trite phrases as if they're pregnant with meaning.
People usually come here to vent their frustrations in a "safe" place - a place where their families and believing friends are NOT. They don't come here to be psychoanalyzed by a believer whose own issues have been fairly apparent in the past, and who has an obvious agenda. (the agenda: to shift all "blame" and - even - responsibility - away from the LDS church, or LDS believers, and place the blame - and - even - responsibility - squarely on the shoulders of exmormons)
Sometimes other people's behavior just sucks, and plainly recognizing and stating that the behavior just plain sucks is the healthiest thing to do.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
Who Knows, I'm not sure what to tell you. The Mormons here are going to blame you, as they do with any family member who they shun from their multi-million dollar temples. We are unkempt, unclean - unworthy in their eyes because, well, if you don't tow the party line and write that monthly check - you're under the guidance of Satan.
Personally I will never step foot inside a Mormon Cult building again - ever, not even Temple Square. It is bad enough I have to work in a building owned by them, with floors dedicated to their madness, or eat in their food courts, or walk the streets they've bought with money they've leached from long dead followers.
My wife is LDS but she knows I will never give permission for blessings or baptisms. I will not have my children indoctrinated in the Cult of the Mormon God - a God whose pyramid starts with Money.
I've watched Ex-Mormonism for years and I'm afraid that once you leave the Cult - the mentality is that you are now on the outside, and that is how you will be perceived. The Cult teaches members to choose it over family members, and this is why I believe the divorce rate among those who leave the Cult is over 80%. Every week on RFM, PM or the EXMF there is at least someone who is in the process of divorce - sometimes fueled by self-righteous Cult leaders pushing the member to separate.
I'm sorry that you feel alone. The Cult has indoctrinated family members around you into believing you are the problem. You are the one who isn't obeying the Mormon God. They can't fathom why because they're still part of the mindset. I think this is the hardest part for Ex-Mormons to deal with. All of the smug, back stabbing, looking down-their-noses at you as if you're some kind of heathen. Just look at the assholes here like Wade, and the tag-alongs Bourne and Nehor. Smugness ... "What are YOU going to do to change things..." What an ass, Wade. Typical Mormon b***s***.
I hear you Who Knows and so do so many who are in, or have been in your position. Just realize there are more of us on the outside than those in the Cult looking out through a fishbowl.
Infymus wrote:Who Knows, I'm not sure what to tell you. The Mormons here are going to blame you, as they do with any family member who they shun from their multi-million dollar temples. We are unkempt, unclean - unworthy in their eyes because, well, if you don't tow the party line and write that monthly check - you're under the guidance of Satan.
Personally I will never step foot inside a Mormon Cult building again - ever, not even Temple Square. It is bad enough I have to work in a building owned by them, with floors dedicated to their madness, or eat in their food courts, or walk the streets they've bought with money they've leached from long dead followers.
My wife is LDS but she knows I will never give permission for blessings or baptisms. I will not have my children indoctrinated in the Cult of the Mormon God - a God whose pyramid starts with Money.
I've watched Ex-Mormonism for years and I'm afraid that once you leave the Cult - the mentality is that you are now on the outside, and that is how you will be perceived. The Cult teaches members to choose it over family members, and this is why I believe the divorce rate among those who leave the Cult is over 80%. Every week on RFM, PM or the EXMF there is at least someone who is in the process of divorce - sometimes fueled by self-righteous Cult leaders pushing the member to separate.
I'm sorry that you feel alone. The Cult has indoctrinated family members around you into believing you are the problem. You are the one who isn't obeying the Mormon God. They can't fathom why because they're still part of the mindset. I think this is the hardest part for Ex-Mormons to deal with. All of the smug, back stabbing, looking down-their-noses at you as if you're some kind of heathen. Just look at the assholes here like Wade, and the tag-alongs Bourne and Nehor. Smugness ... "What are YOU going to do to change things..." What an ass, Wade. Typical Mormon b***s***.
I hear you Who Knows and so do so many who are in, or have been in your position. Just realize there are more of us on the outside than those in the Cult looking out through a fishbowl.
How come I get labelled a tag-along and not a stand-alone asshole. I demand to be called the latter.
Infymus, have you ever considered....I don't know...moving?
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo