So how could I have handed this better?

[_Moniker]

Harmony, sorry that this was even asked of you. Good for you for sticking to your guns. I would have caved and then been pissed at myself later for it.

It's not your responsibility to accommodate this family and if there is an alternate place (so what if it's a bit less inconvenient) then they should use it.

What is really galling about this scenario is that these women (that transport the food) don't want to be put out by 20 minutes but want to inconvenience you on an incredibly special day. Don't feel guilty or anything about this at all!

The woman that couldn't appreciate YOUR situation is the one that should feel horrid for asking that of you!

[_Jason Bourne]

Here's what's happening:



What do you think? Should I have done something different?

I think you handled it quite fine.

It seems it was not so much for the family that lost the child but for those preparing the meal. When I had control over these types of things weddings and funerals always took precedence but if the two things conflicted it was usually who had the building first or who it would be harder on the do something different. I think a wedding, where you have invited people takes precedence assuming there were other facilities not to terribly far away to use the other event.

[_Trinity]

You couldn't have handled it better, and I think most reasonable people will understand.

[_Jersey Girl]

Hi harm,

Unfortunate circumstances to be sure. I don't think it useful to consider turning the wedding plans upside down in order to accomodate the funeral meal. Isn't there another Ward or Stake building that can be used? If the sisters don't wish to truck food an extra 20 miles and if the Relief Society lady really wants to lend support then why couldn't she find a youth or two willing to give service by driving one of many vans (don't tell me they don't have vans available I know better) transport the food, deliver, unpack it and come back to clean the building. Sheesh!

What is wrong with people? No creativity whatsoever!

Jersey Girl
;-)

My best wishes will be with you on Saturday!

[_msnobody]

Now if they had just chosen to be Methodists or Baptists they could load all that food on the church bus to transport it. J/K

I have to agree with the consensus here. Your plans have been made for a while and many probably finalized. The funeral party could go to the next best location to have dinner. I think you did the right thing, Harm- firm but tactful.

[_The Nehor]

I just have images of a combined wedding/funeral. Might be fun. :)

[_bcspace]

Perhaps, assuming you would acquiesce, she made a promise before she called you?

[_charity]

Just a couple of weeks ago, we covered this in our combined third hour. The bishop we through sections of the CHI as peole asked questions.

The rule in the CHI is that funerals take precedence. But usually some accomodation can be made as to time, particulalrly of the funeral since it has been scheduled within the last few days.

But the Relief Society president had the backing of church policy behind her.

[_harmony]

Just a couple of weeks ago, we covered this in our combined third hour. The bishop we through sections of the CHI as peole asked questions.

The rule in the CHI is that funerals take precedence. But usually some accomodation can be made as to time, particulalrly of the funeral since it has been scheduled within the last few days.

But the Relief Society president had the backing of church policy behind her.

No funeral. Just a graveside service. This was just the family dinner. So I guess she didn't have the backing of church policy.

[_moksha]

Just a couple of weeks ago, we covered this in our combined third hour. The bishop we through sections of the CHI as peole asked questions.

The rule in the CHI is that funerals take precedence. But usually some accomodation can be made as to time, particulalrly of the funeral since it has been scheduled within the last few days.

But the Relief Society president had the backing of church policy behind her.

No funeral. Just a graveside service. This was just the family dinner. So I guess she didn't have the backing of church policy.

This is a tough thing, since I view them as both important (although you have first dibs). Is there an alternate Church for them to have the dinner at?