LDS Cult Tithing Horror Stories

[_Infymus]

From Racer:

My dad is hard working, honest, blue-collar guy. The world hasn't always been to kind to him. He found himself out of a job many times as I was a child. You could say we grew up poor. We qualified for welfare and free school lunch, but my dad had too much diginity and pride to accept the freebies. He busted his ass and made every penny count.

By the time I was in high school things were working out for my dad and he had stable work with benefits. Our lives improved, but it wasn't like we were rolling in cash. We had moved out of poverity status into the lower middle class status. Money was still tight.

I was never one of those kids who saved for a mission because honestly I never considered it until I was a SR in HS. My dad was proud when I decided to serve; I was the first in my family to serve a mission. The mission would cost $365 a month. My Dad's monthly tithing was about $365 a month. If he paid for both it would be over $700 a month and he just couldn't afford to do that.

My dad decided to skip out on tithing and fund my mish. The Bishop chastised him for this and told him tithing always came first. He should pay his tithing no matter what, and the ward would pay for my mission. My Dad had too much dignity to do that. Also, my Dad reasoned that it was sixes. He tithes $365, and the church turned around and gave him $365 back to pay for my mission. How is that any different than skipping tithing and just paying for my mission?

2 years later I arrived home, and a month after I got home, my brother left on his mission. So basically, my dad did not pay tithing for 4 years because he was funding missions.

About a year into my brother's mission I got engaged. I was going to be sealed in the temple. My dad's TR had lapsed, so he went to get it renewed a couple of days before the wedding. Of course, he hadn't been paying tithing for 3 years because he was funding missions. The Bishop knew this and told him he had to at least pay a years worth of back tithing before he would renew the recommend. This came to roughly $4000. My dad went out and got a loan and paid the money. I was pissed at the whole situation. My dad just said: "It was worth it to be able to attend my son's wedding." The sad thing is; in any other situation no one would have to pay 4 g's to be able to attend their kid's wedding.

I want everyone who is teeter-tottering on whether the LDS church is for them or not to understand this story.

Forget Joseph Smith marrying a bunch of teens, forget about the uneasy history of Mormonism, forget about DNA and the Book of Mormon, and the contradicting doctrines. All churches have these things in common to some degree.

The worst thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the way it treats its own members and families. It claims to be pro family, but it splits up families and screws with people's lives. It makes them pay large sums of money in order to see a loved one's wedding. It takes, and takes, and takes. Whether it is your time, money, or sanity. It sucks you dry and does not give back anything of value except some pipe dream of a perfect afterlife. An afterlife which the church makes you feel is impossible to obtain, and uses this to heap unecessary guilt upon it's members.

It's not the doctrine that makes the church a damaging cult. It's the way they screw their members over. Such as not letting a father attend his child's wedding unless he pays $4000.

From KC:

When I was a single mom (divorced due to abuse), I had four young kids. I was working for $7 an hour and getting child support. I was NOT making ends meet. We were eating from the food bank.

I had asked the bishop for help, and he never "got back to me." Well, eventually he did, and let me go to the LDS Food pantry a couple times. But I mean, I was so broke!! Had my power shut off in winter.

So I had always been a full tithe payer AND made fast offerings. My bishop had also told me I had to tithe, not only on my $7/hour gross, but also I had to tithe on my scholarships and grants, and had to tithe on my child support (which was paid by my LDS ex who had already tithed on it). So I did. One year it was just too hard and I got behind on the tithing because my little kids needed some clothes. It was Christmastime, I didn't have any presents bought for them and they had holes in their shoes. I wanted to get them shoes for Christmas.

I went to tithing settlement, ashamed. I hung my head and told him my dilemma. I HAD paid tithing, for about 7 months of the year. I said, "I'm sorry, you'll have to mark me as a partial tithe payer this year. I would have to pay $500 to be a full tithe payer, and I only have $510 in the bank right now and haven't paid the bills yet or bought my kids shoes or food." He just looked at me, all disappointed. Asked me something about faith and trusting the Lord. I said, "I can't afford to pay it." and he said, "You can't afford NOT to pay it." After a minute of silence, I pulled out the checkbook and wrote him a check for $500. He smiled and checked the Full Tithe Payer box, and said, Merry Christmas.

My kids did get a couple things for Christmas, from Salvation Army, but they didn't get shoes. They did get a Christmas turkey from their elementary school who was giving them to the "needy" families, but honestly, we suffered. I have to wonder about a bishop who would ask such a thing of a single mom.

From Anonymous:

The first time, I'd been out of the church for about six or seven years. I'd married a nevermo, changed states, and never attended the ward where the bill originated.

One day I came home from work to find an envelope in my mailbox from the local ward. I was annoyed because I'd been telling them to leave me alone. My husband was pissed because they kept visiting, phoning, and sending ward newsletters as if I was a part of their cult.

Once inside the house, I opened the letter. It was from the local bishop, saying he and the other bishop-prick guys wanted 100% tithing participation. They knew I didn't want contact and would probably not attend some stupid "settlement," so they had prayed and decided to ask for a minimal amount of tithing, something like $200. I turned over the letter and wrote back that I was not Mormon and wanted them to leave me alone and sent it back.

A year later, I received a similar bill. Mormons can be such weird fanatical zealots. They actually think they can force some "Lord" in the sky to manipulate a person they don't know or care about into paying money to a detestable organization, one so bad as to pull a stunt like this one.

[_Inconceivable]

Asked me something about faith and trusting the Lord. I said, "I can't afford to pay it." and he said, "You can't afford NOT to pay it." After a minute of silence, I pulled out the checkbook and wrote him a check for $500. He smiled and checked the Full Tithe Payer box, and said, Merry Christmas.

I honestly believed this while a TBM. When our circumstances became difficult, I never went to the food bank or requested any other assistance from the bishop. We made good use of the dried stuffs in our food storage we had bought several years before. Our grass stayed dead for 2 years for lack of water, yard sales for clothes and much of Christmas. We paid a full tithe even though, for about 4 months, we lived entirely off our credit cards.

It was the tithing that kept us at the poverty level

On a side note, I recall hometeaching a family on the Mormon dole. We enter to find new couches and a big TV. Made me sick. After that, I always earmarked my fastofferings to the "humanitarian fund" to go abroad.

[_truth dancer]

The worst thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the way it treats its own members and families. It claims to be pro family, but it splits up families and screws with people's lives. It makes them pay large sums of money in order to see a loved one's wedding. It takes, and takes, and takes. Whether it is your time, money, or sanity. It sucks you dry and does not give back anything of value except some pipe dream of a perfect afterlife. An afterlife which the church makes you feel is impossible to obtain, and uses this to heap unecessary guilt upon it's members.

Ahhh these are the types of experiences and situations that make me sick... literally sick inside.

I cringe at the memory (and consequences) of paying tithing for so many years. It is a HUGE regret for me. I still find myself angry at myself for buying into the teaching/doctrine/practice.

~dancer~

One little note, not to derail the topic.. you write about the perfect afterlife. I just want to acknowledge that for me, and many women, the LDS version of the afterlife is literally Hell. We are taught that even though it may seem like Hell it will actually be nice once we get there. :(

[_charity]

Only one problem is someone else's horror stories. You only get one side. And you get the whiner's version.

Young men should work and save for their missions. I don't know any 18 year olds who don't get jobs. Even a McD job would allow a young man to save a lot. If he wasn't wasting his money. If they don't care for their parents' enough to save for their own mission, they can't complain at privations the family suffers because of it. These young men should be men enough to take the responsibility.

Yes, tithing comes first. It is a commandment. The justification that "if my father paid tithing and then the Church turns around and gives the money back as mission support" is a crock. Tithing funds are tithing funds. Mission funds are mission funds. And if the dad was paying $365 a month in tithing, that means an income of $3,650 a month. $43,800 a year. I never made that much any year I worked. Do the math before you buy into the story.

A bishop would never suggest something that wasn't tithing as tithing. Tithing isn't $200. Or $400. It is 10% of the increase! Again, do the math.

About showing a determination to pay tithing as a condition of worthiness. Sort of like a person who goes in for a temple recommend and says, "I haven't had a beer for 24 hours. Give me the recommend." Only wanting a temple recommend for a specific event does not demonstrate the desire to live worthy of one.

There may have been some hardships suffered by some members. Life is hard. But just swallowing whole whiner's complaints indicates gullibility.

To Truth Dancer

Aren't you glad you don't have live any kind of life you don't want to in the afterlife. You don't want to be a wife and mother, you don't have to be. I do. What a neat plan. We both get what we want.

[_truth dancer]

Charity...

You can distort pretty much anything can't you. :(

Aren't you glad you don't have live any kind of life you don't want to in the afterlife. You don't want to be a wife and mother, you don't have to be. I do. What a neat plan. We both get what we want.

Bold mine.

Newsflash... I already am a wife and mother.

And, yes, I am very hopeful that if there is an afterlife I will not be part of a harem, procreating children for eternity, sending 1/3 off never to be seen again. Watching the rest suffer through a test for which they are ill prepared. No quetion about this.

Are you saying that everyone gets what they want in the afterlife? Hmmm sounds good to me. Personally, I have never heard that as part of official LDS doctrine... is this a new revelation or something?

~dancer~

[_Trinity]

The first year I didn't pay tithing (at all) was a boom year for me financially. I had let the TR slip past renewal and blissfully coasted for about ten months putting a bunch of money into investment accounts for my children. The power of compound earning, you know.

Anyway, my niece announced she was getting married in the temple, as has all of my other 30+nieces/nephews. I have a big family. So hubby and I sat down to calculate how much money in back-tithing it would take for us to get our recommends renewed to view the wedding in the temple. $18,000. I sat back and told hubby it would cost us more money than the expense of the entire wedding for us to see it.

I sent my niece a nice knife set, and we spent that Saturday morning cleaning out the garage while my extended family went to the temple for the wedding.

I just love clean garages!

[_skippy the dead]

While I don't doubt that there are those in leadership positions who may over zealously (and wrongly) "enforce" the principle of tithing, I don't see that any of the situations described were reflective of church policy.

I do find it ridiculous that the father of the missionary was too prideful to pay tithing and have the ward pay for his son's mission. He put his pride first. If he believed in the church enough to pay for a son's mission, he should have known better (I'm basing this statement on what I assume were his beliefs; obviously mileage may vary for those who do not believe).

People make errors in judgment across the board. I wouldn't condemn the LDS church as a whole because of these stories. I would just recognize that there are bastards everywhere, including in the LDS church.

[_Ray A]

I don't regret serving a mission. I learned a lot, met many people, and my horizons broadened. In order to do this I sold everthing I had, which included my fairly new car. I set off with a suitcase of clothes, and that was the sum total of what I possesed in the world. Two years later I returned with the same suitcase, and got married in two weeks, still penniless, but supported by my companion. Found a job, paid tithing, and raised a family of five children.
cliché warning: We never went without anything.

Now that we've seen a few of tithing horror stories, I guess The Diary of Anne Frank is obsolete. I didn't hear Nelson Mandela whine about his 27 years in jail, either. But my guess is that he'd swap 27 years in jail for tithing debt, anyday. Life is tough, real tough. Only you can decide whether to turn adversity into prosperity. You don't like tithing? Then don't pay it, but wear the consequences sweetly. Revolutionary understanding: You don't have to do anything you don't like, or disagree with.

"The true test in life does not occur when all is going well. The true test takes place when we are faced with challenges. Some people have a positive attitude towards life only when all is well. However, when the going gets tough, their attitude changes instantly, and they become very negative or are consumed with self pity." Catherine Pulsifer

I think this is a great attitude:

The first year I didn't pay tithing (at all) was a boom year for me financially. I had let the TR slip past renewal and blissfully coasted for about ten months putting a bunch of money into investment accounts for my children. The power of compound earning, you know.

Anyway, my niece announced she was getting married in the temple, as has all of my other 30+nieces/nephews. I have a big family. So hubby and I sat down to calculate how much money in back-tithing it would take for us to get our recommends renewed to view the wedding in the temple. $18,000. I sat back and told hubby it would cost us more money than the expense of the entire wedding for us to see it.

I sent my niece a nice knife set, and we spent that Saturday morning cleaning out the garage while my extended family went to the temple for the wedding.

I just love clean garages!

[_charity]

You can distort pretty much anything can't you. :(

What was distorted? Please list.

Aren't you glad you don't have live any kind of life you don't want to in the afterlife. You don't want to be a wife and mother, you don't have to be. I do. What a neat plan. We both get what we want.

Bold mine.

Newsflash... I already am a wife and mother.

But that ends when you die. Unless there are sealings in force. That's in the New Testament.

And, yes, I am very hopeful that if there is an afterlife I will not be part of a harem, procreating children for eternity, sending 1/3 off never to be seen again.

I won't be part of a harem. Maybe my husband will have other wives. Right now, I'm the only one. But plural marraige is not a harem, although I know you have said this over and over. I love having children. I love raising children. No problem there. So, were you to know that one of your children was going to tell you he never wanted to see you again, and took off, would have regretted having him?

Watching the rest suffer through a test for which they are ill prepared. No quetion about this.

Suffer? You don't understand. I am sure you have watched your children suffer, through vaccinations, dental work, etc. Did you decide they really shouldn't have the vaccination because of the few seconds of pain? That is what mortality is, even though it doesn't seem like it to us.

Are you saying that everyone gets what they want in the afterlife? Hmmm sounds good to me. Personally, I have never heard that as part of official LDS doctrine... is this a new revelation or something?

They get what they wanted because that is the kind of life they led and the choices they made. Whatever limitations there may be came because of their own choices. A person who wants to be a ballerina must take dancing lessons. If you chose not to, you can't complain because you aren't a prima ballerina.

[_beastie]

When I was married to my exhusband, we constantly had financial problems. I was a schoolteacher in an area that doesn't pay much. I had three children in four years. My ex was mainly self-employed and contributed only sporadically to the family income.

I will never forget the one time in our marriage my ex had better sense than I did. I often got behind on tithing, due to the fact that there were weeks when I literally didn't know where I'd get grocery money. But he finally got paid for one job and gave me almost 1,000. Bonanza! I had never gotten that much money from him before. I paid my back tithing. He told me that was a bad idea, but I was going to be obedient to the Lord.

The Lord paid me back by inspiring me to file bankruptcy several years later due to overwhelming credit card debt.

My parents, well into their retirement, in their seventies, still have many years of a house mortgage ahead of them. They kept borrowing on the house. But they always paid their tithing.