LDS Cult Tithing Horror Stories

[_charity]

I realize that without the belief that tithing is the Lord's command, it is hard to understand it. But tihting is the commandmetn of the Lord, in the plainest terms. If you fail to pay your tithing you are robbing God. Plain and simple.

No other manner of "revenue sharing" works.

I hate to use the government as an example, the IRS being an organization conceived of and run by Satan, but here goes. You owe the government taxes. You decide to give the amount of your taxes to an organization that supports children who live in poverty. You tell the IRS that it doesn't make any difference. You pay your taxes and the government gives Aid to Dependent Children. It's all the same. Does the IRS buy that? What do you think happens to you?

[_Jason Bourne]

I am not saying these did not happen. Some of it seems a bit odd. But different bishops do things different ways. Since none are professionally trained and there are only guidelines to go by some bishops may be more strict about things then others. Also for every "horror" story there are countless stories of positive uplifting experiences. I could tell you dozens.

My dad is hard working, honest, blue-collar guy. The world hasn't always been to kind to him. He found himself out of a job many times as I was a child. You could say we grew up poor. We qualified for welfare and free school lunch, but my dad had too much diginity and pride to accept the freebies. He busted his ass and made every penny count.

By the time I was in high school things were working out for my dad and he had stable work with benefits. Our lives improved, but it wasn't like we were rolling in cash. We had moved out of poverity status into the lower middle class status. Money was still tight.

I was never one of those kids who saved for a mission because honestly I never considered it until I was a SR in HS. My dad was proud when I decided to serve; I was the first in my family to serve a mission. The mission would cost $365 a month. My Dad's monthly tithing was about $365 a month. If he paid for both it would be over $700 a month and he just couldn't afford to do that.

My dad decided to skip out on tithing and fund my mish. The Bishop chastised him for this and told him tithing always came first. He should pay his tithing no matter what, and the ward would pay for my mission. My Dad had too much dignity to do that. Also, my Dad reasoned that it was sixes. He tithes $365, and the church turned around and gave him $365 back to pay for my mission. How is that any different than skipping tithing and just paying for my mission?


2 years later I arrived home, and a month after I got home, my brother left on his mission. So basically, my dad did not pay tithing for 4 years because he was funding missions.

About a year into my brother's mission I got engaged. I was going to be sealed in the temple. My dad's TR had lapsed, so he went to get it renewed a couple of days before the wedding. Of course, he hadn't been paying tithing for 3 years because he was funding missions. The Bishop knew this and told him he had to at least pay a years worth of back tithing before he would renew the recommend. This came to roughly $4000. My dad went out and got a loan and paid the money. I was pissed at the whole situation. My dad just said: "It was worth it to be able to attend my son's wedding." The sad thing is; in any other situation no one would have to pay 4 g's to be able to attend their kid's wedding.

I want everyone who is teeter-tottering on whether the LDS church is for them or not to understand this story.

Forget Joseph Smith marrying a bunch of teens, forget about the uneasy history of Mormonism, forget about DNA and the Book of Mormon, and the contradicting doctrines. All churches have these things in common to some degree.

The worst thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the way it treats its own members and families. It claims to be pro family, but it splits up families and screws with people's lives. It makes them pay large sums of money in order to see a loved one's wedding. It takes, and takes, and takes. Whether it is your time, money, or sanity. It sucks you dry and does not give back anything of value except some pipe dream of a perfect afterlife. An afterlife which the church makes you feel is impossible to obtain, and uses this to heap unecessary guilt upon it's members.

It's not the doctrine that makes the church a damaging cult. It's the way they screw their members over. Such as not letting a father attend his child's wedding unless he pays $4000.

The one thing I find really odd about this one is the requirement to pay the back tithing. I have never heard of such a thing. Typically when one has not been a full tithe payer the simply start paying tithing again on their current income for a time period to be considered a full tithe payer.

From KC:

When I was a single mom (divorced due to abuse), I had four young kids. I was working for $7 an hour and getting child support. I was NOT making ends meet. We were eating from the food bank.

I had asked the bishop for help, and he never "got back to me." Well, eventually he did, and let me go to the LDS Food pantry a couple times. But I mean, I was so broke!! Had my power shut off in winter.

So I had always been a full tithe payer AND made fast offerings. My bishop had also told me I had to tithe, not only on my $7/hour gross, but also I had to tithe on my scholarships and grants, and had to tithe on my child support (which was paid by my LDS ex who had already tithed on it). So I did. One year it was just too hard and I got behind on the tithing because my little kids needed some clothes. It was Christmastime, I didn't have any presents bought for them and they had holes in their shoes. I wanted to get them shoes for Christmas.

Bishops are encouraged to be generous and assist an err on the side of generosity. Too bad she seemed to have on that was less then helpful. Also, bishops are specifically instructed not to tell members how to determine their 10%.

[_Jason Bourne]

The worst thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the way it treats its own members and families. It claims to be pro family, but it splits up families and screws with people's lives. It makes them pay large sums of money in order to see a loved one's wedding. It takes, and takes, and takes. Whether it is your time, money, or sanity. It sucks you dry and does not give back anything of value except some pipe dream of a perfect afterlife. An afterlife which the church makes you feel is impossible to obtain, and uses this to heap unecessary guilt upon it's members.

Ahhh these are the types of experiences and situations that make me sick... literally sick inside.

I cringe at the memory (and consequences) of paying tithing for so many years. It is a HUGE regret for me. I still find myself angry at myself for buying into the teaching/doctrine/practice.

~dancer~

One little note, not to derail the topic.. you write about the perfect afterlife. I just want to acknowledge that for me, and many women, the LDS version of the afterlife is literally Hell. We are taught that even though it may seem like Hell it will actually be nice once we get there. :(

I have no regrets about the contributions and tithes I gladly have paid and pay. Overall it goes for good things in my opinion. And it has taught me to give and be more charitable in general. I find it interesting when I listen to money and get out of debt counselors that they encourage tithing as partof the budgeting and money management principles. One such famous person strongly recommends it and he is not LDS though he is Christian.

[_Blixa]

... But different bishops do things different ways. Since none are professionally trained and there are only guidelines to go by some bishops may be more strict about things then others...Bishops are encouraged to be generous and assist an err on the side of generosity. Too bad she seemed to have on that was less then helpful. Also, bishops are specifically instructed not to tell members how to determine their 10%.

This, though is kind of the problem--which I think is your point. On the one hand there are admontions---specific instructions, you say--to not tell members how they should be figuring their thithe and to err on the side of generosity rather than letter of the law strictness. On the other hand you have an institutional culture of obediance and top-down authority that is supposed to be followed to the letter.

Its not surprising, then, that such incidents as have been posted about here happen (and the "good" stories as well as the "bad"---there are, I'm sure real gems of tolerance, charity and compassion who are called to bishop. Incidently, the local guy who handled my resignation--someone I've never met---wrote me a letter so expressive of human decency that I emailed him back and thanked him for it). What is disturbing is that LDS leadership seem unconcerned about these kind of problems, something that a little bit of training (rather than the myth of "discernment") could go a long way to rectifying.

[_Some Schmo]

charity, I'm going to put this as nicely and gently as I can, because I've made a New Year's resolution to try to be nicer in the forums...

You're a moron. I'm amazed you have the brain power to turn on a computer without sacrificing whatever neurons are necessary to keeping your vital organs working. Unbelievable. If you really want people to believe in the church, I highly recommend you shut the f*** up.

That's all there really is to say about your comments in this thread.

[_Jason Bourne]

Asked me something about faith and trusting the Lord. I said, "I can't afford to pay it." and he said, "You can't afford NOT to pay it." After a minute of silence, I pulled out the checkbook and wrote him a check for $500. He smiled and checked the Full Tithe Payer box, and said, Merry Christmas.

I honestly believed this while a TBM. When our circumstances became difficult, I never went to the food bank or requested any other assistance from the bishop. We made good use of the dried stuffs in our food storage we had bought several years before. Our grass stayed dead for 2 years for lack of water, yard sales for clothes and much of Christmas. We paid a full tithe even though, for about 4 months, we lived entirely off our credit cards.

It was the tithing that kept us at the poverty level

Sorry but I don't buy it. Tithing does not keep you at the poverty level. 10% is helpful but it is not that much. Plus if you deduct it on your tax return it is not really 10%. Let's see, I am not sure what poverty level is. Like around 38k for a family of four? $3800 is going to help but it ain't a make or break. Most people I know who tithe do quite fine on what is left over. Most budget and plan for the expense and make ends meet. Maybe your circumstances were different though.

[_Jason Bourne]

A bishop would never suggest something that wasn't tithing as tithing. Tithing isn't $200. Or $400. It is 10% of the increase! Again, do the math.

.

Charity

What is the definition of increase?

[_The Nehor]

charity, I'm going to put this as nicely and gently as I can, because I've made a New Year's resolution to try to be nicer in the forums...

You're a moron. I'm amazed you have the brain power to turn on a computer without sacrificing whatever neurons are necessary to keeping your vital organs working. Unbelievable. If you really want people to believe in the church, I highly recommend you shut the f*** up.

That's all there really is to say about your comments in this thread.

Well, 15 days isn't that bad.

[_Jason Bourne]

But that ends when you die. Unless there are sealings in force. That's in the New Testament.

It is? Where does it talk about sealings in the New Testament? Chapter and verse please.

Are you saying that everyone gets what they want in the afterlife? Hmmm sounds good to me. Personally, I have never heard that as part of official LDS doctrine... is this a new revelation or something?

They get what they wanted because that is the kind of life they led and the choices they made. Whatever limitations there may be came because of their own choices. A person who wants to be a ballerina must take dancing lessons. If you chose not to, you can't complain because you aren't a prima ballerina.

No you see TD you don't get what you want. You only get less then what the Churches doctrine of the eternities are. You may want to be a wife but if you do not do it the LDS way you are not a wife you are single. Get it?

[_Some Schmo]

charity, I'm going to put this as nicely and gently as I can, because I've made a New Year's resolution to try to be nicer in the forums...

You're a moron. I'm amazed you have the brain power to turn on a computer without sacrificing whatever neurons are necessary to keeping your vital organs working. Unbelievable. If you really want people to believe in the church, I highly recommend you shut the f*** up.

That's all there really is to say about your comments in this thread.

Well, 15 days isn't that bad.

What? That was way nicer than what I wanted to write.

15 days and counting...

:D