Does being religious make personal loss easier?

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_skippy the dead
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Post by _skippy the dead »

The Nehor wrote:
skippy the dead wrote:
The Nehor wrote:It's what fills funerals with happy tears instead of sad tears.


Happy tears? Please.


Well, happened to me last 3 funerals I've been to. That and joking about the person. I could just be a sicko though.


Jokes about the person are a nice part of a funeral. But I don't really think most are crying "happy" tears.
I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe / But at least I'm enjoying the ride.
-Grateful Dead (lyrics by John Perry Barlow)
_Ren
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Post by _Ren »

Where I'm at right now, I don't find myself feeling 'beyond remorse' sadness for somebody who has lived a long, rich, full life. The kind of person who couldn't have that much more out of life, and who you could argue had more than so many others.

Yes, I grieve for them. I'll miss them. And I feel sorrow, but I don't feel the kind of sorrow that 'needs' some kind of 'fixing'.


Now - attending the funeral of - say - a 3 year old girl? Now there's a situation where I would have thought a little religion could seem VERY tempting indeed...
_Moniker
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Re: Does being religious make personal loss easier?

Post by _Moniker »

asbestosman wrote:
Moniker wrote:Hi, Bond. I've always assumed that the belief in some sort of afterlife is very reassuring for those with this belief. Of course that's why I've always assumed this belief was incorporated into religious dogma.

Isn't that what it's all about?


I wonder how that fits into Buddhism where goal is to stop existing as an individual. Actually I'm not sure if the goal is to continue existing at all so much as to break the cycle of rebirth.


Well, I specifically was referring to the religions that DID incorporate an afterlife into their religious beliefs. Buddhism allows for rebirths and then eventually nirvana -- nothingness, or an extinction of all cravings. I find that much more palatable then the idea that we all float about in a cloudy harp filled Eden -- or the alternative is I could wear maternity clothes for my eternal afterlife.
_Bond...James Bond
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Post by _Bond...James Bond »

Runtu wrote:I have mixed feelings about this. When I was a young man of 23 or so, my two brothers were killed in a car accident.


In the same wreck?
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
_Runtu
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Post by _Runtu »

Bond...James Bond wrote:
Runtu wrote:I have mixed feelings about this. When I was a young man of 23 or so, my two brothers were killed in a car accident.


In the same wreck?


Yup.
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If you just talk, I find that your mouth comes out with stuff. -- Karl Pilkington
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

skippy the dead wrote:
The Nehor wrote:
skippy the dead wrote:
The Nehor wrote:It's what fills funerals with happy tears instead of sad tears.


Happy tears? Please.


Well, happened to me last 3 funerals I've been to. That and joking about the person. I could just be a sicko though.


Jokes about the person are a nice part of a funeral. But I don't really think most are crying "happy" tears.


You've never laughed so hard you cried?
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
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_Runtu
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Post by _Runtu »

The Nehor wrote:You've never laughed so hard you cried?


Just saying, but a funeral where people laughed so hard they cried would kinda creep me out.
Runtu's Rincón

If you just talk, I find that your mouth comes out with stuff. -- Karl Pilkington
_GoodK

Re: Does being religious make personal loss easier?

Post by _GoodK »

Bond...James Bond wrote:I didn't want to bring personal crap to the board, but this question came to me today as I pondered what happens when people pass on. In my present weak atheist mind I feel bad that there isn't a heaven or whatever for relatives to continue existing in. I took great personal comfort when theist that a person would go on to heaven in the afterlife. So I put hte question up for debate:

Does being religious make personal loss easier?


I think you're on to religion's secret sauce - for lack of a better metaphor. From my conversations with religious people, it seems that being an atheist is tantamount to saying "I'm never going to see grandma again."
Clearly, doubting reality is the easier road to take.
_skippy the dead
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Post by _skippy the dead »

The Nehor wrote:
skippy the dead wrote:
The Nehor wrote:
skippy the dead wrote:
The Nehor wrote:It's what fills funerals with happy tears instead of sad tears.


Happy tears? Please.


Well, happened to me last 3 funerals I've been to. That and joking about the person. I could just be a sicko though.


Jokes about the person are a nice part of a funeral. But I don't really think most are crying "happy" tears.


You've never laughed so hard you cried?


Oh for crying out loud Nehor - this is silly even for you. First you say that having religion makes people cry happy tears at funerals instead of sad tears, now you're making it sound like folks laugh so hard at jokes that they cry. Face it, most regular folks are pretty damn sad at funerals, no matter what they think of the after life. And now I'll have to stop responding, because this is ridiculous.
I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe / But at least I'm enjoying the ride.
-Grateful Dead (lyrics by John Perry Barlow)
_Doctor Steuss
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Post by _Doctor Steuss »

To me, believing in an afterlife (note “believing” in lieu of “knowing” one exists) kind of creates a strange paradox when I lose someone. There is a peculiar pulling of emotions where a battle between the polarized is waged while trying to find the balance of the “+” and “-“ of my inner magnet.

On the one hand you have hope, yet on the other despair. There is joy, and there is sorrow. There is anger, and there is peace. All of this put in a blender with a dash of melancholy. I don’t know if it ultimately helps or hinders the grieving process, but I’d like to think it helps. Most of the time though, I feel as if we are each believing in an afterlife not for our own benefit (i.e. to make it easier for us when we lose someone) but instead we believe in order to help others deal with our eventual passing.

Personal loss is such a (pardon the redundancy) personal thing. I'm not sure anything necessarily makes it "easier."
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." ~Charles Bukowski
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