BYU Students Making a Difference

[_Dr. Shades]

I actually think that covering up while accentuating is much sexier than revealing too much.

I disagree. When it comes to women, there's no such thing as revealing "too much."

[_asbestosman]

I actually think that covering up while accentuating is much sexier than revealing too much.

I disagree. When it comes to women, there's no such thing as revealing "too much."

Even if they don't shave?

[_beastie]

I'm far too much of a germaphobe to tolerate gyms. I tried for a while but every time I touched a machine all I could do was imagine everyone else who had touched it before me, sweating and germie. No can do. That's why my basement looks like a mini-gym.

I think the underlying problem is the masturbation ban. When teenage boys can't masturbate, a telephone pole will look hot to them. My bf cracks me up by telling me about how turned on he used to get by the old fashioned bra ads. Now that's desperate. For entertainment, I often make him recite the old TV shows that made him want to "sin" - like Soul Train and those hot dancers. If these teenage boys were whacking off the way the Lord God intended them to do, this wouldn't be such a problem. They run home after going to the gym and "sin", and then get mad at the scantily clad girls for leading them astray. And the girls have been taught that it's partly their fault when the boys whack, because they're "walking pornography".

[_asbestosman]

You know, if girls looked like boys, I wouldn't be tempted by them. Instead of having women wear veils, perhaps we should have them all wear goatees.
If girls looked like crocodiles, I wouldn't be tempted by them. Maybe we should have girls all wear scales, big teeth, and long snouts.
If girls looked like rabbits--uhh, nevermind.

[_Runtu]

I'm far too much of a germaphobe to tolerate gyms. I tried for a while but every time I touched a machine all I could do was imagine everyone else who had touched it before me, sweating and germie. No can do. That's why my basement looks like a mini-gym.

I think the underlying problem is the masturbation ban. When teenage boys can't masturbate, a telephone pole will look hot to them. My bf cracks me up by telling me about how turned on he used to get by the old fashioned bra ads. Now that's desperate. For entertainment, I often make him recite the old TV shows that made him want to "sin" - like Soul Train and those hot dancers. If these teenage boys were whacking off the way the Lord God intended them to do, this wouldn't be such a problem. They run home after going to the gym and "sin", and then get mad at the scantily clad girls for leading them astray. And the girls have been taught that it's partly their fault when the boys whack, because they're "walking pornography".

That's exactly right. The church teaches us to deny our own feelings and then externalize them as not our own. They're from Satan's prompting, or they're the fault of the "walking pornography." The deadly seriousness with which sexual thoughts and (say it isn't so!) masturbation are treated would be laughable if it weren't so tragic. When people start taking responsibility for their own feelings and desires and come to grips with them (no pun intended), then maybe we'll see less of this absurdity.

[_harmony]

That's exactly right. The church teaches us to deny our own feelings and then externalize them as not our own. They're from Satan's prompting, or they're the fault of the "walking pornography." The deadly seriousness with which sexual thoughts and (say it isn't so!) masturbation are treated would be laughable if it weren't so tragic. When people start taking responsibility for their own feelings and desires and come to grips with them (no pun intended), then maybe we'll see less of this absurdity.

I think we'll see less of this absurdity when our leaders see women as more than just madonna/whore. And that won't be until after this crop of leaders are all dead.

[_Moniker]

That's exactly right. The church teaches us to deny our own feelings and then externalize them as not our own. They're from Satan's prompting, or they're the fault of the "walking pornography." The deadly seriousness with which sexual thoughts and (say it isn't so!) masturbation are treated would be laughable if it weren't so tragic. When people start taking responsibility for their own feelings and desires and come to grips with them (no pun intended), then maybe we'll see less of this absurdity.

I think we'll see less of this absurdity when our leaders see women as more than just madonna/whore. And that won't be until after this crop of leaders are all dead.

Yah, perhaps some of the members with this mentality need to die off as well...

[Guest]

I don't know that I want men to think one thing or another with the way I dress. I've been in flip flops, baggy jeans, and t-shirts and had guys whiplash.

That's their deal. Not mine...

Ah, I suppose beauty has its price...

Ah, I suppose being an ex-LDS male has its price if you completely miss my point...???

Don, if a man reacts to me that is his deal. Not mine. If a man sees a picture of me and says, "Wow! You look so young and pretty!" Did I plant those words in his mind and make him utter them? Nope.

So, is there a price to beauty? Nah. Is there a price to being indoctrinated that women that are lovely somehow are responsible for how men to react to them? Yah, I sort of think there is.


Perhaps the "smart" posters on this board, that are male, can think on that for a while. :)

[_asbestosman]

Ah, I suppose being an ex-LDS male has its price if you completely miss my point...???

Don, if a man reacts to me that is his deal. Not mine. If someone sees a picture of me and says, "Wow! You look so young and pretty!" Did I plant those words in his mind and make him utter them? Nope.

So, is there a price to beauty? Nah. Is there a price to being indoctrinated that women that are lovely somehow are responsible for how men to react to them? Yah, I sort of think there is.

Similarly, if beautiful females are bothered that men react to their beautiful bodies, then it's the females' problem not ours right? Certainly rules can dictate that men hide their reactions, and I'm all for that since I prefer not to have people feel harassed. Harassment is a problem that lies with those doing the harassing. That said, being bothred that men think about your body instead of your personality--istn't that the woman's problem? I'm not saying that's what you do. I'm just looking for some symmetry.

Harassment can be a tricky thing. If you dress in a swimsuit, I think you should expect a few stares. If some guy follows you around to keep staring, then he's gone too far. Otherwise, I think being bothred by a few stares is your problem, not the men who will naturally stare a little.

[_Moniker]

Ah, I suppose being an ex-LDS male has its price if you completely miss my point...???

Don, if a man reacts to me that is his deal. Not mine. If someone sees a picture of me and says, "Wow! You look so young and pretty!" Did I plant those words in his mind and make him utter them? Nope.

So, is there a price to beauty? Nah. Is there a price to being indoctrinated that women that are lovely somehow are responsible for how men to react to them? Yah, I sort of think there is.

Similarly, if beautiful females are bothered that men react to their beautiful bodies, then it's the females' problem not ours right?

How so. How is it the females problem? Because she doesn't appreciate it?

Certainly rules can dictate that men hide their reactions, and I'm all for that since I prefer not to have people feel harassed. Harassment is a problem that lies with those doing the harassing. That said, being bothred that men think about your body instead of your personality--istn't that the woman's problem? I'm not saying that's what you do. I'm just looking for some symmetry.

Harassment can be a tricky thing. If you dress in a swimsuit, I think you should expect a few stares. If some guy follows you around to keep staring, then he's gone too far. Otherwise, I think being bothred by a few stares is your problem, not the men who will naturally stare a little.

I agree! I wear a bikini to the pool and get stares. I don't care. Yet, am I forcing that upon him? Is it my fault? Is it mine to bear? Or should I rather think -- men are attracted to women, they stare, and yet I am not at "fault" for their reactions. It's normal. If they somehow think there is some MOTIVE ascribed to me -- then they are passing the blame to me. If they look at me and fault me for THEIR reaction that is them passing the buck.


If I get ookied out I cover up. Which happens depending on my mood -- I imagine I'm not the only female like that. Sometimes looks are okay, other times I want to poke eyeballs out if they won't stop staring. Yet, is me being uncovered make me responsible for how men react to the female form? Why?

Well, I've had quite a bit of experience (as you know) with men that see me as a dehumanized sexual play toy. Was it my fault? That men are okay with looking at women and not caring about them past their sexual appeal? Why is that my problem? Do I force that upon them? Does it bother me? Yes. In that sense it can become problematic since it's painful. Yet, it's not me that forced men to be all dick and lil brain.