Is posting on forums healthy?

[_LCD2YOU]

Does it make one happy?

Well the flip side is ignorance. Boards like these where freedom of speech is not squelched and people not banned, unlike the apologetic boards, make one more aware.

So would I rather be informed and irratated or ignorant and happy?

I choose informed anyday of the week.

I refuse to be a Utah Vally-ite where "ignorance is bliss" and they are very happy people.

[_Yoda]

(Y'all are welcome to come visit VA... you can join Beastie and me for lunch). :-)

You're in Virginia! PM me what part! I'm in NC. Not that far away from the VA border. I may have to take you up on that offer of lunch. ;)

I think that posting on forums can be very positive. For me, it's a chance to interact with people I normally would not have a chance to interact with. I have met people from different states, and even different countries. It also gives me an opportunity to learn things and ask questions I really couldn't ask anywhere else.

I think that the main problem that can happen with posting on any type of Internet forum is if there is a tendency to become obsessed with it. Like any other addictive behavior, if posting interferes with your personal life, your job, etc., in a negative way, then it is probably best not to do it. That's something that everyone has to evaluate for themselves.

[_BishopRic]

Then there are some REALLY brilliant people who post. I learn so much from them. I particularly enjoy conversations where I find my mind and heart expanding.

Then there are those times when some church issue comes up and I find conversations here to be quite cathartic. As much as I would love to walk away from Mormonism, my family is immersed in it and it will be forever in my life.

Finally, I have a fascination with why and how people believe. It is a topic that has always intrigued me, more so over the last several years. I find the dynamics of believing through faith the same regardless of the specific dogma/teachings/doctrine. What better place to discuss belief than with believers?

So... is it healthy to post? For me I would say yes. It is for the most part, play. Play is good!

:-)

~dancer~

As usual, I could have almost written this (well, not the Virginia part....).

The first message board I participated on was RFM. As much as many say how much anger and hatred is on there, it served me well for a few years while I was learning "the other side" of church history. It did shock me a bit, and in the beginning I had thoughts of "if exmormons are this angry, I want no part of it." But I realized that anger was/is a part of grief and healing, and I looked at it for what it was.

I had an amplified healing process when I took a sabbatical from my eye care practice and worked (played, really) in a wilderness program for a year. Being out on the trail created a craving for social connection when I had a few days between trips back in the small town it was based (Loa, Utah), and I found the internet forums to be my friend.

I was steered to a local newspaper forum here (the Provo Daily Herald) a few years ago when there was a heated debate about Richard Dutcher's movie "God's Army 2, States of Grace." I absolutely loved the show, even as an exmormon, but there were a few that were very offended by Richard's portrayal of problems in missionary life. Anyway, I got hooked into the discussions there, and over 4000 posts later, I finally got bored there. But I met many from the forum, and have maintained many friendships that were established.

(As an aside, I had lunch with Richard yesterday after seeing his new movie "Falling," and he is a passionate, driven movie director that will, I think, be a factor for more awareness of Mormon issues in his future movies).

For me, today it keeps me connected to pertinent issues, causes me to think about things I probably never would have had I not been challenged with interesting posts and threads, and is sometimes pure entertainment!

[_Some Schmo]

If I maintain my current view of message board participation, I doubt it's healthful or harmful. I just don't take it seriously. We aren't really accomplishing much here except articulating the contention between members and non-members; we certainly aren't convincing many people of anything.

For me, it's all about entertainment and having the opportunity to write down what's on my mind at any given time. I like many of the styles of writing of the folks who participate here. I also really enjoy reading people who think so vastly differently than I do. It's absolutely fascinating. Admittedly, I also like messing with people using this medium (although I'm finding lately my propensity for that is waning). I'm certainly not obsessed with it, however sometimes, a particular thread will spark my interest and I'll get very involved in that, but it always fades quickly and I'm back to my general "hey, let's see what's happening at MDB" attitude I have on most days.

It's just one more distraction in a long list of distractions I have in my life.

[_Ray A]

I've read all the replies (some I will answer individually later) and I agree with some, disagree with others. This coming July I will have been on LDS-related forums for eight years. Interest waxes and wanes. Unlike some here the Internet didn't teach me much about Mormonism. There were no surprises, because I'd done most of my study from 1983 to 2000, when I bought my first computer and went online. For me it was a way to communicate feelings and thoughts. Before this I was a prolific letter writer to newspaper editors, so much that in 1998 I was the subject of a feature weekend article in a newspaper. On average this paper published me about once a week, so I was a sort of "defacto columnist". So I guess I'm stubbornly opinionated, but it generated much public interest, hence the feature article. When I went online my letter writing slowed considerably, probably about two or three letters a year, then in early 2006 I stopped writing altogether. People still know me from my letters, and I still get comments, but I've lost all interest in letter writing. I did an amazing flip flop too, going from a "leftie" to a conservative, around 2001. But we all know it's a major sin to change one's views, even when added information is screaming for one to do so. The paradox is that I still have what many would call "leftie views" on some things, but my general position on politics has been formed from studying politics in Australia for 34 years. I read about as much on politics as I did on religion, but I've also lost interest in politics now, though I'm still a member of a minor political party seeking reform to laws regarding divorce and child custody.

To take Mary's point, opinionated people with strong views are not apathetic. They want to express their views, and they will do it anywhere they can, through any medium they can. So we end up with lots of opinionated people with strong views on the same forums. It's a mixture something akin to dynamite. That's why forums get so heated. Contrary to some opinion, I'm not in the business of "silencing" anyone. I offer opinions, and I admit that I enjoy doing so. Opinions can change, and it's healthy to change them if necessary, even if one is accused of "flip-flopping". I know a good argument when I see one, as most of us do. And I've seen some persuasive arguments for the exmo plight, mainly from exmos who can articulate their views well, and can keep a cool head while doing so. I seldom saw this on RFM, and people like Steve Benson have lost all credibility with me. I don't even read their views anymore, because they are cankered by bitterness at the Church. It's like trying to reason with a pit bull in attack mode. On Postmo I saw some very reasonable people, but the bitter ones turned me off. I sincerely wish them well. I hope they find the peace they're looking for. I felt it would not be right for me to any longer "impose" my views on them, and some of the interactions I had with more reasonable exmos on Postmo persuaded me to delete my former blog (see, I really can change my opinions when confronted with reasonable and persuasive information).

Here it's different, and if someone wants to recover from Mormonism, this isn't the place to do it. Head for RFM or Postmo. Because here you're going to be confronted by Mormons, and your views will be challenged. The picture isn't so black and white here, and it's not going to be all smooth sailing, for anyone. I think Mormons like Charity make the board very interesting (and she has more guts than most of us), so that it doesn't become a "love fest" with one point of view dominating. I wish more Mormons like her would venture here. Do you on MADB hear me? Please come over and express your views. I'm not saying this because I want the Mormon viewpoint to prevail, far from it, but I like to see as many viewpoints as possible. I don't agree with everything in the Church, and I don't agree with all exmos. I like the interaction, and posting, for now, still remains a form of "play" and entertainment for me, even when it gets heated. Probably because I don't have a social life, and am not really interested in going to nightclubs, or having a relationship, and gardening doesn't take my fancy either.

I'll get around to some individual replies during the day. I'm off work for a week, but hopefully I won't let this week slip away with too much time here.

[_Ray A]

Personally, I think that the people who actually bother to communicate and post are the less apathetic ones. At least they care. Is apathy any better??
What do you think?

Mary, I think Hoffer was right that it's apathy that kills religion, and even thought and progress, not opposition.

The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not. - Eric Hoffer.

What I've been talking about is again encapsulated by Hoffer:

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. Thus people haunted by the purposelessness of their lives try to find a new content not only by dedicating themselves to a holy cause but also by nursing a fanatical grievance.

The cynicism and bitterness of some people is something they will have to deal with. They will not effectively get their message across that way, and their constant negativity could endanger their health. The Church means different things to different people. Simon Southerton was mentioned by Porter. Simon is actually a very gentle person. I have listened to him speak, and I've read his writing, and heard him do interviews in the Australian media. He is persuasive because he is so non-confrontational. What happened to him on RFM? He got clobbered because some felt he was "too sympathetic" to Mormonism, and "too soft" on Mormons. These are the fanatics I'm talking about. And I will listen to Simon before any of the angry blabber-mouths. I took time to read and listen to Simon's interviews and what he had to say, because he was so reasonable about it. I even listened to his talk at the Exmo Conference online. I am not an adoring fan of his, but he's worth listening to.

[_beastie]

It is true that some people become consumed with passionate hatred towards Mormonism. Go watch the youtube clip on ren's thread to witness that.

The problem that I have with this constant refrain, (paraphrasing) "there's something wrong with you for criticizing Mormonism" that we so often hear from defenders of the faith is that they don't seem to be able to distinguish between a screaming bullhorner and someone venting or criticizing on an internet forum designed for that purpose. I can't count how many times people like juliann declared me "hysterical" or "angry", when I felt neither of those emotions. Believers come to forums designed for interaction with critics, and then feel constantly harassed by the critics, get frustrated and angry, and then project their own negative feelings onto others. I realized this after Juliann once admitted to often getting angry in these sort of exchanges. No wonder she pictured me the same way.

Ray, to be blunt, I think you do the same thing. I think you project the way YOU felt as an angry exmormon onto other people on the net. And you were the exception, not the rule.

So we can all agree it isn't healthy for someone to be passionately consumed with hatred towards Mormonism. Where we obviously have disagreements is how to determine who fits in that category.

[_Ray A]

Ray, to be blunt, I think you do the same thing. I think you project the way YOU felt as an angry exmormon onto other people on the net.

That is quite possible. If I was angry as a divorcee, and I was (at lawyers and the government mainly), would I be wrong to advise someone not to take the approach I did, because it will achieve nothing?

So we can all agree it isn't healthy for someone to be passionately consumed with hatred towards [anything]. Where we obviously have disagreements is how to determine who fits in that category.

I have altered the bracketed portion above. I repent[ed] of my anger. When are the angry exmos going to do the same, so we can talk rationally?

[_beastie]

I have altered the bracketed portion above. I repent[ed] of my anger. When are the angry exmos going to do the same, so we can talk rationally?

I have no idea. I suggest you hunt them up and ask them.

[_Ray A]

I have no idea. I suggest you hunt them up and ask them.

My bloodhound is having his nap at the moment.