Weaknesses:

[_Moniker]

I agree with TD. If viewing porn gets in the way of doing what needs to be done in your life or it is compulsive it can be a problem. I don't know if that's the case for styleguy or not. But if he says it's a problem then he apparently sees it as an issue in his life.

Styleguy, sorry for your troubles and no worries about the skeletons in your closet. Those that say they don't have them are liars. :)

[_Imwashingmypirate]

Well, here's the problem, as I see it: You've actually bought into the idea that pornography is somehow bad. Guess what... it's not. There's not a single person who can provide a verifiable, substantial reason why porn is somehow wrong without bringing up the god fantasy.

If I were you, I'd give up the bad belief before giving up what you like, which is viewing porn... something that doesn't hurt anyone. Don't let a bunch of uptight fools convince you otherwise.

It is bad because it makes him feel bad. It is bad because it changes relationships with sexual partners. It is not normal. It would only result in sexual arousal. only your wife should do that. What does one do after they are aroused? It is wrong.

Would you agree that woman arousing themselves is right? I think it is wrong. I didn't know such a thing was possible til I came here. I still have my doubts. It is disgusting and degrading. People should keep their arousal for their partner. Not for an inaminate object.

[_truth dancer]

TSG wrote:

I've have a bad addiction to porn ever sense and have gone to therapy with the best Mormon therapists trying to me to stop looking at naked women.

I'm assuming that he clearly identified his challenge... most men who describe themselves as addicts are accurate.

Also, If I recall correctly on sexhelp.com there are therapists listed for help throughout the country... maybe the world.

~dancer~

[_krose]

Some may not understand what it means to be addicted to porn.

Count me in that group. I don't want to diminish anyone's struggles. I just don't understand.

First off, I don't have a clue what exactly 'porn' is. I haven't heard a reliable definition. Just look at the BYU kids in the other thread who seem to think that aerobic outfits are pornographic. When I was 12, the underwear pages in the Sears catalog were pretty darn exciting. If it's something different for everyone, it's impossible to even know what the term means.

Second, I don't think it's accurate to use the term 'addiction' with anything but physically habit-forming substances like cocaine or nicotine. That's why I use the word 'obsession.' You can't be addicted to seeing something. However, you can become obsessed with anything, whether it is food, looking at naked people, collecting beanie babies, scrap-booking, exercise, celebrity gossip, religion, blogging, or any other activity.

Some degree of obsession with sex is entirely natural. It's not called a sex 'drive' for nothing; it's very strong and can make people do stupid things. At the same time, any obsession can become unhealthy if it interferes with living your life the way you want or need to.

Perhaps I'm just quibbling over terminology after all, but I think using those terms makes it sound like something it's not.

[_Imwashingmypirate]

Anything can be habit forming. I guess one might say I am addicted to paper and stationary. We had a joke when i was younger that at chrusmas my parents would just get me a big box with sissors ang glue in and they would give me the wrapping paper off everyone else's presents. I just loved that sort of stuff. They never did though. I collected bits of paper to the point of OCD (hoarding). I am not so bad now because I am at uni and I can't really travel back and forth between semesters with junk. I would be called "lick it and stick it". Slightly odd... A shop actually came out that was named that. How ironic. There must have been other lick and stickers out there.

Pirate.

[_The Nehor]

Well, here's the problem, as I see it: You've actually bought into the idea that pornography is somehow bad. Guess what... it's not. There's not a single person who can provide a verifiable, substantial reason why porn is somehow wrong without bringing up the god fantasy.

If I were you, I'd give up the bad belief before giving up what you like, which is viewing porn... something that doesn't hurt anyone. Don't let a bunch of uptight fools convince you otherwise.

Course not except for those who develop fetishes to the point they can't enjoy sex, the young people disappointed that their first encounter didn't live up to the choreographed sex they've seen, people who obsess over the size of their member or their body in general, those who become addicted to it, those who compare it to their sex life and find the latter wanting and seek other partners, those who destroy their spouse's self-image as they can't live up, and those who degrade the opposite sex into a plaything due to using them as such in their mind.

I agree with the sentiment that pornography is wrong not because it has too much sex in it but too little. It takes a relationship and fixates on one act to the exclusion of all else.

[_truth dancer]

Hi Krose... :-)

Some degree of obsession with sex is entirely natural. It's not called a sex 'drive' for nothing; it's very strong and can make people do stupid things. At the same time, any obsession can become unhealthy if it interferes with living your life the way you want or need to.

Perhaps I'm just quibbling over terminology after all, but I think using those terms makes it sound like something it's not.

There is a big difference between having a strong sex drive and being obsessed with porn, and being addicted.

Many sex addicts describe recovery as much more difficult than any form of substance addiction.

If a man is telling me he is addicted to sex, there is a good chance he indeed is.

If you are interested, there are a lot of good books on the topic that go into the neurology of SA and how and why it is considered by many one of the worst and most powerful forms of addiction.

~dancer~

[_Some Schmo]

Well, yes, addiction to anything can be a problem. I'm just not sure that styleguy is addicted to porn. He made a reference to someone who said that sex addiction was the hardest to give up, but that doesn't mean that's styleguy's problem.

The fact is, if you grew up Mormon, it's possible that regular thoughts about sex might give a person the feeling they're sex addicted because it's such a taboo in the church. The Mormon view of sex is as far away from healthy as it can get. If I touch myself, I'm sure there are many Mormons who would consider me a sex addict. This stuff has to be put in perspective.

I have a brother who has completely given up on the idea that the church is true, but he's still screwed up by the church with respect to his sexuality. He can't seem to get the retarded notion "sex is next to murder" crap out of his brain. It's just not healthy. He's been crippled by this crap. And so now he can't even enjoy sex well into middle age because he grew up in a sexually challenged church.

I would never make a "real world" diagnosis of someone based on what they think about their own sexuality if they happened to grow up Mormon. He may be a sex addict, but more likely, he has a healthy libido and is just feeling Mormon guilt over it.

It is bad because it makes him feel bad.

Again, is that the sex's fault or the attitude instilled by the church's fault? Unnecessary guilt is a hallmark of many religions including Mormonism.

It is bad because it changes relationships with sexual partners. It is not normal. It would only result in sexual arousal. only your wife should do that. What does one do after they are aroused? It is wrong.

This is the familiar chorus of the young and relationship immature.

How does it change relationships with sexual partners? If one is secure in one's relationship, why would a person let it change them? The fact is, sexual arousal is COMPLETELY normal. And if you're one of those people who is naïve enough to believe that your spouse is only going to be aroused by you for the rest of his/her life, you are living in la la land. That has to be the most unrealistic romantic myths perpetuated on the species since the idea that there is only one person for everyone out there. It's just plain stupid.

The key is communication with your partner. Let me tell you; a person should be grateful that their partner is subsidizing their sex life with porn or sex toys rather than multiple partners. It doesn't matter how sexually active a person is; there will be times when your partner is not available. What do you do with your drive when that happens? Seek someone else, masturbate to porn, or repress it? By far, the best, most healthful choice is porn.

Would you agree that woman arousing themselves is right?

Sure. Of course! Why not?

I think it is wrong.

Then I honestly pity you. You should let go of that for your own health and well being.

I didn't know such a thing was possible til I came here. I still have my doubts. It is disgusting and degrading. People should keep their arousal for their partner. Not for an inaminate object.

You must be very young. You sound like it, anyway. I have hope that by the time you fully mature, you'll realize just how dysfunctional your attitudes toward sex really are.

[_Moniker]

Would you agree that woman arousing themselves is right? I think it is wrong. I didn't know such a thing was possible til I came here. I still have my doubts. It is disgusting and degrading. People should keep their arousal for their partner. Not for an inaminate object.

Hi, Pirate. I disagree with you about masturbation. I believe there is nothing wrong with it. Why do you think there is? Because you were told there is? Do you believe everything you're told -- I don't. :)

I don't arouse myself. I become aroused naturally -- sexual tension rises and it's just easier to deal with it then not to. Get it over with. Then go back about your business. I imagine it may even be more difficult for men. I had a male professor one time tell me that us girls had it easier than the guys 'cause pretty much studying, tests, just anything was always being interrupted by sexual tension. Seems to me that if sexual tension gets in the way of doing what needs to be done in your life it is healthier just to get it out of the way and then carry on.

[_Imwashingmypirate]

Would you agree that woman arousing themselves is right? I think it is wrong. I didn't know such a thing was possible til I came here. I still have my doubts. It is disgusting and degrading. People should keep their arousal for their partner. Not for an inaminate object.

Hi, Pirate. I disagree with you about masturbation. I believe there is nothing wrong with it. Why do you think there is? Because you were told there is? Do you believe everything you're told -- I don't. :)

I don't arouse myself. I become aroused naturally -- sexual tension rises and it's just easier to deal with it then not to. Get it over with. Then go back about your business. I imagine it may even be more difficult for men. I had a male professor one time tell me that us girls had it easier than the guys 'cause pretty much studying, tests, just anything was always being interrupted by sexual tension. Seems to me that if sexual tension gets in the way of doing what needs to be done in your life it is healthier just to get it out of the way and then carry on.

Well personally I wouldn't know. Erm. I was not taught that is was wrong, I just feel it is wrong, but I guess I do have reasons for feeling that way which are personal to me. It just doesn't seem very natural.