Moniker wrote: I would assume that a few (or a lot) of you on this board dealt with this and had to at some point no longer rely on "feelings", and rationalizations in order to see the "truth". Was denial something that you dealt with when confronted with history or unsavory aspects of the Church that you had to come to terms with?
Was this a difficult process for you?
Well, since I never really believed the church was true, I never had any cog dis over it, but I certainly had it over other things related to the church (and it would be fair to say that I likely still suffer from it. I see it as the human condition and the denial mechanism, not just a way of psychologically dealing with the silliness of Mormonism).
I remember back when I first started visiting the exmo boards posting to a thread related to gay marriage, taking the side that I didn't think it was a good idea. Obviously, I was confronted on this, and the thread went on for several pages.
I remember sitting on my couch, thinking about the conversation, and asking myself, "Honestly, [Schmo], why do you think homosexuality is wrong?" And this feeling washed over me, and I had an epiphany. The answer was simple. "Homosexuality makes me, personally, feel uncomfortable." That was it. I had no other logical, valid reasons for calling it wrong except for the way it made me personally feel. When I realized that it was just an emotional reaction to the thought of same sex behavior, it occurred to me that my feelings on it were inherited. My father had no problem preaching on the evils of homosexuality, and my feelings on the subject confirmed to me what he was saying
must be true.
But at the same time, all along, I had met several gay people and always... well... really liked them. They consistently seemed like good people to me; in fact, they were some of the kindest, most giving people I'd ever met. And there’s never been any doubt that these people were born with a predisposition to homosexuality (unless they’re all really great actors who all act like… well, how all homosexuals act, I guess… I wonder who first came up with that façade, if it’s just an act…) Were these people really deranged as the religious types would have us believe? Or is it more likely that the religious types don't have any valid reasons for thinking it's wrong either, and are just speaking from their ill-informed gut as well?
From that point on, I vowed I would never speak out against homosexuality again, and can spot the bigots in a heartbeat. I find myself defending their right to be who they are on message boards (and in real life), and feel a little sadness when I consider the long history of BS they've had to put up with in the name of religion, and particularly, the apparently good-willed, "people loving" Christians.
EDIT: by the way, to answer your question about whether this was a difficult process for me or not, I have to say that it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. It felt like a major weight was lifted off my shoulders. I no longer had to carry a prejudice toward gay people. It was awesome!
I imagine it's far more difficult for people to go through the process of giving up their belief in Mormonism. Fortunately, I never had to deal with that. In fact, the process for me was more like talking to other exmos who confirmed and validated all the thoughts I had about Mormonism over the years. That's actually been a very gratifying process as well.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.